FAS Jobs. lol

AckwelFoley · 28-04-2009 10:27am #1

2. Stallion Person 39 hrs €9.10 ph

Experienced Stallion Person required. Successful applicant must be experienced in natural cover, semen collection and artificial insemination procedures.

So for 9 euro 10 per hour you have to pull the balls off a stallion.

Nice.

Where do i sign?

Mr Benevolent · 28-04-2009 10:28am

Where do i sign?

Sorry, I'm at the head of the queue. Giddy up horsie!

Shouldn't it say 'Horse W*nker Required'?

Fratton Fred · 28-04-2009 10:31am

Reminds me of the first job my old father in law used to have when he first moved to england.

He was given a job at the McAlpine stud in Henley and his job was basically to guide the stallion into the mare:eek:

trouble was, when it was the first time for the stallion, they quite often got "Over Excited" and the poor bugger under neath hanging onto the horses todger usually got covered.:D

AckwelFoley · 28-04-2009 10:37am

Confab wrote: »

Sorry, I'm at the head of the queue. Giddy up horsie!

Shouldn't it say 'Horse W*nker Required'?

Im looking at some of the jobs...

72. Sales Representative (Hygiene Supplies - B Licence) 40-48 20,000pa
Sales Representative required for xxxxxxx region area. Duties to include selling hygiene supplies to the away from home market. ie. shops, industry, restaurants, health care etc. Experience an advantage but training will be supplied. A full clean B licence is necessary

.

This job includes selling tampax for 20k a year based on a 48 hour week.

My will to live now is smaller than a chineese door mouse's pecker at the moment

Robbo · 28-04-2009 10:39am

Please do explain how you were looking for a job as a fluffer in a horse brothel?

mike65 · 28-04-2009 10:40am

I presme snyper was looking to enlist in the merchant navy. Yo ho ho.

Biggins · 28-04-2009 10:53am

Gives new meaning to "grabbing a job by the balls"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 28-04-2009 11:07am

A c'mon lads, a job's a job.... why the long faces..>?

*runs*

AckwelFoley · 28-04-2009 11:26am

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

A c'mon lads, a job's a job.... why the long faces..>?

*runs*

your internet rights are to be revoked.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 28-04-2009 4:17pm

snyper wrote: »

your internet rights are to be revoked.

How'a'ya horse...

Fratton Fred · 28-04-2009 4:22pm

"None of your foreplay rubbish, just horse in there boy"

AckwelFoley · 28-04-2009 5:25pm

Im really willing to do anything, even childcare..oddly all the main jobsites wont allow me access to the childcare job pages let alone apply.

Somewhat prejudicial imo.

I see on Gumtree they are advertising for harry potter auditions, im not sure but would they accept a 31 year old 6'4 harry potter?

Nforce · 28-04-2009 5:39pm

Fratton Fred wrote: »

Reminds me of the first job my old father in law used to have when he first moved to england.

He was given a job at the McAlpine stud in Henley and his job was basically to guide the stallion into the mare:eek:

How boring would that job be?

The temptation to liven up proceedings by guiding the stallion into the other hole would be immense!!

:D

randylonghorn · 28-04-2009 5:49pm

Nforce wrote: »

How boring would that job be?

Believe me, boring would be the last thing it was ... have you ever tried dealing with a stallion in super-charged mode? >.<

AckwelFoley · 28-04-2009 6:10pm

randylonghorn wrote: »

Believe me, boring would be the last thing it was ... have you ever tried dealing with a stallion in super-charged mode? >.<

yea, ive actually seen it done a few times. The bring the mare over to the stallion while hes locked befind a stable door, he reaches his head out over the half door and gives her cooter an aul sniff. If she doesnt kick fcuk out of him and she passes a milky coloured gunk from her - the stallio and his owner know there is a payday..

..so out comes the stallion, slanging his wand with a smug look on his face knowing he getting some (kinda the same look i have on my face when i load the fiance up with a bottle of vodka)

Anyhow.. a few nibbles and skreechs up he mounts.. max 20 seconds later off he goes into his stable to light a fag and watch the rest of the game.

Nforce · 28-04-2009 6:12pm

randylonghorn wrote: »

Believe me, boring would be the last thing it was ... have you ever tried dealing with a stallion in super-charged mode? >.<

Nope...I can honestly state that I've never held a stallion's d!ck.

I have however seen movies of laydee's holding them (amongst doing other things with it)....but that's for another thread...

:eek:

:D

Nforce · 28-04-2009 6:16pm

snyper wrote: »

Anyhow.. a few nibbles and skreechs up he mounts.. max 20 seconds later off he goes into his stable to light a fag and watch the rest of the game.

Sound's like a pretty average Saturday night in chez Nforce

RKDus · 28-04-2009 6:24pm

snyper wrote: »

2. Snyper Person 39 hrs €9.10 ph

Experienced Snyper Person required. Successful applicant must be experienced in natural cover, semen collection and artificial insemination procedures.

Worth a shot posting that up?

randylonghorn · 28-04-2009 6:54pm

Nforce wrote: »

Nope...I can honestly state that I've never held a stallion's d!ck.

Neither have I ... well, apart from the one I was born with!

But I've been around for a couple of coverings that didn't go as smoothly as snyperius described above, or on other occasions when stallions were acting up, and they can be scary enough.