What do you think? Dirty House

LegacyUser

I recently dated a guy for a couple of months whose personal appearance was immaculate but his house was filthy dirty. There was rubbish outside the front and back of the house, overflowing bins inside and outside, dust on his b/room curtains as they’re never pulled ever, cob webs all over the place, small flies all over the house and the dirtiest windows I’ve ever seen!

I tried my best to overlook all of the above but I couldn’t. I found it so off-putting. Would most people feel the same? I couldn’t live in such filth. If my house did get into such a state it would be a sure sign I was down in da dumps BIG time!

That_Guy

Talk to him about it. Ask him why his house is so dirty.

He could lead a busy life and not have time to clean the house. Also if he does have a busy life he may not have the money either to hire a cleaner.

Or maybe and possibly the correct answer.... He's lazy. Plain and simple.

I like many other guys am messy. I do clean up but not on a regular basis. I take care of myself and clean myself up every day but I'm lazy when it comes to cleaning up.

Latchy

He may be a nice guy OP but whatever you do dont fall into the trap of insisting you'll clean it all up for him .If he has lived like that for a long time he is used to it .

dudara

Are you still dating him, if so then I'll leave this thread in Personal/Relationship Issues, otherwise I'll move it to a more appropriate forum.

dudara

LegacyUser

dudara wrote: »

Are you still dating him, if so then I'll leave this thread in Personal/Relationship Issues, otherwise I'll move it to a more appropriate forum.

dudara

No I'm no longer dating him TG. Where would be best to post this thread? I posted it in here as personally it is something I dislike about a potential partner hence why the relationship ended last week!

Now you have me all confused...:( I'm new to these kind of sites so apologises for the confusion..

LegacyUser

Up until last week we were together.

I posted here as I was curious to see if such an issue would turn someone off a potential b/friend/g/friend. My thread was of personal experience and relationship based.

I'm new and slightly confused to these kind of sites.

Later.

dudara

I was trying to establish if it was a Personal Issue, or more of a general question. However as you broke up last week, I'll just move it into the Relationship Issues forum.

LegacyUser

Did he live on his own?

If so then maybe he was just an untidy guy.

If he lived with others then maybe his housemates are untidy.

I try to be as clean as I can but my housemates are fairly untidy and I refuse to clean up after them so it sometimes happens that the place is a complete mess.

So tonight after arriving in, the sink is full of dishes and the bins are full as they haven't bothered to do anything.

I stay here cos I like the location - actually having words with them tomorrow about the situation. I'd rather we all pitched in and the place was much cleaner

So OP, maybe he's not that bad.

Salome

Wow, he obviously wasn't trying to impress you much - a filthy house is a deal breaker for me. I'm not the most house-proud person myself but I try to keep tidy and if I've visitors over, the house is cleaned top to bottom.

If he didn't even try, then he's a lazy so and so and you're soooo better off.

dudara

Just to get some background here - did you ever sit down with him and discuss the filth?

It's fairly common. I've lived with loads of guys who went to work every morning in a suit and tie, well groomed, and yet lived in absolute filth. And yes, it was always guys. They just didn't seem to notice the manky carpets, cobwebs, stains on the cooker. At first I tried to clean but it was a losing battle. In the last place, the guys shared a bathroom and it was beyond manky - dried poo in the toilet, pubes everywhere, mirror so dirty you couldn't see yourself. I don't know how people live like that, but it was like that in most places I've lived.

Salome

Salome wrote: »

a filthy house is a deal breaker for me

Me too. If a person's happy living in filth I'd never be happy living with them. :eek:

abi2007

my best friend is like this, she is absolutly immaculate all the time yet her house is a tip. but what I've noticed is that she is so consumed by her ownself that she doesn't see anything else.

LegacyUser

dudara wrote: »

Just to get some background here - did you ever sit down with him and discuss the filth?

I never sat down and discussed it with him but I did mention the numerous flies flying around my dinner one evening there! As we were not together long, I didn’t want to appear rude but sometimes I could ‘not’ say nothing.

Stheno

A lot of blokes are like this imo, just seem to have an ability to "ignore" dirt/mess/clutter whatever.

If this is a deal breaker for you then you need to bring it up with him tbh, a lot of guys just don't realise how off putting it can be.

My bf can be an awful slob* when the mood takes him (he lives on his own, has done for years, now lately he's made a fair bit of effort, and if I am cleaning up after dinner, he will join in and we will very comfortably share the chore) then other times his house is pretty immaculate, I reckon housework is just something guys don't necessarily prioritise.

*I knew this from the outset, not a massive deal for me tbh, I can be a mad slob myself.