In Love Already???

LegacyUser · 26-04-2009 1:41pm #1

I met a guy about 6 weeks ago. Hit it off straight away. We've seen each other everyday since which is not like me at all, I tend to like my own space and usually would only see guys I'm dating at the weekends.

Anyway, he was cooking dinner for me yesterday at his place. I was at the table drinking a glass of wine & as I was watching him I just got this overwhelming feeling, the words were on the tip of my tongue, I didn't say it but I was just sitting there thinking I could see myself with this guy for the rest of my life.

I'm not some infatuated teenager, I'm a grown woman and I've had two long term relationships but I've never felt like about anyone. I don't believe in love at first sight or any of that soppy stuff and I'm finding these intense feelings a bit disconcerting.

TBH I find it really unnerving. The rational(or maybe cynical) part of my brain is telling me to cop-on & there is no-way I could be in love already. But I still can't help feeling like this.

Has anyone ever been here? Could it be love? I'd hate to think that this is some sort of infatuation... I wish i knew my own mind

Beruthiel · 26-04-2009 1:46pm

Why over think it?

Why not just call it "in very strong lust" and leave it at that.

I've always been of the opinion you have to really know someone in order to know you love them.
Anything else is lust.
Nothing wrong with a good dose of lust btw.
Enjoy.

SarahSassy · 26-04-2009 1:49pm

The exact same thing happened to me and a year later we are living together and happy out.

No one could convince me that it was lust or infatuation - I looked at him and I knew that I loved him and this was only about six weeks in. It was an amazing feeling as it was so sure and certain and has not waivered from that day to this. What happened was that we were having dinner and some vino and he walked past me and I realised it. I nearly dropped dead when he woke the next mornng and told me he had dreamt I said I loved him. I had a panic attack in case I had said it after a few glasses of wine but I hadnt. He told me he loved me the following week and the rest is history

We had in the early days talked for hours and hours both face to face and on the phone (5 hours was our record one day) and I knew he was a good person and that we were compatible. Obviously an expert Walter Mitty type carachter can fool you but in reality most people are good and I think when you get older, then you recognise what you want in another person more easily. I think with the benefit of a couple of long term relationships behind you, you can also use experiences to assess a new relationship better...

Its your gut and your experience. Trust it and dont fight it. Enjoy

LoGiE · 26-04-2009 2:06pm

Why not? I went traveling for 18 months and met a women for only 3 days in Denmark. We completly clicked and I felt terrible when we parted. As it turns out she felt the same and we both changed our travel plans a week later. Now we've been together for the last 6 months and are happily living together in Dublin.
Like you I've been in long term relationships before and like you I just felt an instant connection with this person. Love, lust or whatever I've never been so happy. Enjoy the feelings your having and by all means tell him, it can only imporve your relationship.

Salome · 26-04-2009 2:38pm

Just go with it - whether it's lust or love - just enjoy it and see where it takes you!

It sounds pretty damn good to me though

.

Latchy · 26-04-2009 2:44pm

Sounds good OP .

Go with it ,enjoy and long may it flourish

star-pants · 26-04-2009 2:59pm

Whether its love or 'almost love' - just go with it, as others have said.
I know what you mean when you just click with someone so well & you just sometimes look at them lovingly and wonder how you're so lucky. It's also a little scary as you've never felt this way before, but to me, that means it's special

Dante09 · 26-04-2009 2:59pm

what did he cook?

Fago! · 26-04-2009 3:06pm

what did he cook?

If it's any sort of pasta, dump him.

No seriously.

A guy would love to hear someone say they love him.

TELL HIM!!!!

LegacyUser · 26-04-2009 3:08pm

what did he cook?

Bit of a random question Dante09!! He made spag bol, with garlic bread & strawberrys with cream for desert :-)

Guys thanks for the replies. I guess I always thought I would just know, but really wasn't expecting it to to hit me so suddenly.

Latchy · 26-04-2009 3:14pm

Pasta ? Pasta ?

OMG OP, get out of there ...........now

beertons · 26-04-2009 3:15pm

Congrats, sounds like you've thought about it alright. Enjoy!
What was he cooking by the way? Was he chopping something or flipping something in a pan at the time?

Victor · 26-04-2009 3:35pm

Folks, what does it matter what he cooked? He did something considerate for his girlfriend, surely thats enough.

LegacyUser · 26-04-2009 3:36pm

beertons wrote: »

Congrats, sounds like you've thought about it alright. Enjoy!
What was he cooking by the way? Was he chopping something or flipping something in a pan at the time?

He was chopping mushrooms... hmmm whats the problem with pasta???

legal eagle 1 · 26-04-2009 3:39pm

Awh how cute! theres no specific time limit on when you can say you are in love or not everyone is different like. Dont overthink what you feel.......he sounds like a catch.......a man who cooks !haha
Go with it and just enjoy the warm fuzzy love feeling!hehe

LegacyUser · 26-04-2009 5:35pm

Went out with a girl for a while and about 8 weeks in she just looked me in the eye and said she thinks she might love me! I didnt say it back. She went on to dump me 2 weeks later! Now maybe she was just a wierdo but just be sure of your feelings before you say anything to him cause you may just be feeling this way because your still in the honeymoon period.

Dante09 · 26-04-2009 6:36pm

Unregistered wrote: »

Bit of a random question Dante09!! He made spag bol, with garlic bread & strawberrys with cream for desert :-)

Guys thanks for the replies. I guess I always thought I would just know, but really wasn't expecting it to to hit me so suddenly.

Not that random a question really!
Nothing wrong with spaghetti bolognese at all (as long as he put mushrooms and carrots into it!) Not so sure bout the garlic bread & strawberrys with cream for desert though!:D

But on a serious note, there's no reason why you couldnt be in love with him already...it does happen you know...and for some of people it even takes less than 6 weeks! If you feel like it, tell him...whats the worst that could happen?! Its seldom that feelings as strong as the ones you've described are not mutual!

Faith · 26-04-2009 8:09pm

My boyfriend and I said it after seeing each other for about 2 months, and I still feel the same now. There's no reason that you can't fall in love that quickly, imo, because in my experience you definitely can.

LegacyUser · 26-04-2009 10:36pm

My partner and myself more or less moved in together the afternoon we met, no lie, we didnt discuss it, we didnt plan it, it just happened.

She came to my flat and never left, now 12 years later we own a house outright together, have a beautiful daughter and are very happy.

We just KNEW, when we met it was the most natural thing in the world, this was it and we both knew it right off the bat.

Just go with it, when the time is right to say and do things you will know it.

We fell in love instantly, we didnt say so for a few weeks, but when we did we both already knew anyway, we knew right away.

dudara · 26-04-2009 10:39pm

My partner and I started living together after about days. That was nearly 10 years ago and all is still very good.

Trust your gut. It might take a while to build up to saying those words, but make sure to listen to your heart.

LegacyUser · 27-04-2009 1:34pm

OP, as other people have suggested, don't stress about it. The same thing happened to me after less than a month. The lady in question is now my wife and we're very very happy. Just relax and see where it goes.

In Love Already???

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