GF moving in with me

Billybatts

Hi all,

going to keep this a bit short now but my GF whom i got engaged to last year, of 8 years is soon finished college, she was away for the past 4 years and only realy saw each other on the odd weekends and the holidays, however now she is moving home from England (where she was in college) and into a house i bought, the thing is we only ever lived together for a 3month period a few years ago, and now i am worried what way it will go as we have fights like everyone and the usual stuff but its all kinda new, maybe i am just starting to get nervous about the whole thing ,

anyone else in the same boat

AngryBadger

I hate to be a buzzkill, but you're engaged to a woman who has been away for the last 4 years, during which you've only seen her on the "odd weekend, and holidays", and now that she's finishing college you're moving in with her?

Sorry man, but this sounds like a recipe for disaster in my book. If she's just finishing college then you've been involved with her for most of her formative years, this relationship has also developed in circumstances where you barely ever saw each other for half the total time you've been together.

If I'd been with someone 8 years under those conditions, there is no way in hell I'd be engaged/moving in with them. I'd want to spend AT LEAST a few months seeing her regularly to be sure that whatever attracted me to her in the first place was still there and this wasn't being driven by wishful thinking on my part.

Sorry.

Bottle_of_Smoke

If you're engages you really shouldn't be worried. Think carefully about the engagement.

puglover

This is a big step in your relationship, it's only natural to be nervous. People always have these fears when moving in together. You just need to learn to be patient with each other and understand that you will both need an adjustment period.

Att-tichoo

my advice is to keep as many outside interests as possible so that you both not just living in each others pockets..the house can get a bit claustraphobic(sp?) when your new to living together

Enjoy it, for me and my OH it took a lot of the pressure of having to make time for each other when we both were so independent..now we're just always around at some stage of the day or not..BUT dont forget this is your g/friend not your mother/maid/flatmate.. dont let domestic bliss go stale..

lighten up and have fun!!

MissHoneyBun

Like AngryBadger said, I think it's proabably wise for ye to hang out together a bit more before living together. You kinda need to be sure you enjoy a lot of each other's company before living together. Seeing as ye're both engaged it definitely makes sense that ye try this out before tying the knot, could be unwise not to. (Sorry to be negative, it's just a reality)

Living with your other half is wonderful and great fun but only if you're prepared to accept all (and I do mean, all) of their little ways and if they're prepared to accept yours. The stuff ye can't accept totally can be compromised on.

Of course all this takes time but it's an exciting time so be patient, be communicative and enjoy!

LegacyUser

why on earth did you propose to her and not expect her to come and live with you when she finished college... its the natural thing to do
did you expect not to live together until you were married or until another 8 years has passed??

if you are planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, the one sure way to make sure it will work out is to live with them. it can be a scary situation to be in but its the next step for you two. if it doesnt work out, at least you know

Beruthiel

Billybatts wrote: »

i am worried what way it will go as we have fights like everyone and the usual stuff but its all kinda new, maybe i am just starting to get nervous about the whole thing

Communication.
Sit her down and tell her your concerns. Talk about the fact there will be an adjustment period. Discuss the ins and outs of living with someone and the friction that can sometimes entail.
Discuss house keeping and bill paying.
All of the above should be talked about straight away, thus heading disaster off at the pass.

mollybird

im in a very similar situation. i'm just finishing my college degree and been with my OH nearly 3 years. we just got an apt together this week but i can't move in till i can get a job full time in dub. we used to just see each other 1 or twice a week. am hoping ot build up seeing each other alot more regulary once finals are over. i think once you communicate well with each other you should be ok.