Cheating problems...

LegacyUser

Hi

Last night i cheated for the first time. We've been together for a year and a half, and i never thought about it before cause ive always been happy.

So cue last night. Out with the lads and a few girls ive known over the years. One girl there last night, who i know a long time but havent seen for ages. I fancied the pants off her when i was younger. So was chatting to her last night about stuff, and i didnt mention the girlfriend at all, not on purpose, just never came up. So then we started flirting with each other and eventually she ends up saying that she has always fancied me and then she kissed me. Now she is a cracker - gorgeous in every way, perfect build, nice boobs, lovely ass, and the personality matches the looks - amazing, so funny, so bubbly, such a nice person. So she went home and i went home and ive been thinking about what happened. I love my gf, she is my best friend and knows everything about me, and i really thought she was the one for me forever. she wasnt out and we have a different circle of friends.

But this old crush has resurfaced... and i really want her now as well!

What to do! Do i go and chase this new flame, see what happens with it there and not let my girlfriend know, or should i just tell her first? Or should i be happy with what i have? I also have a feeling that something like this happened with my current girlfriend while we were together, but she insisted she never has cheated....

thanks

confused and down...

tesslab

seriously grow a pair & own up to your GF. If you're having such strong feelings for someone else its not fair on your GF to keep her stringing along if things dont pan out between you & the crush. What you're considering is such a spineless thing to do.
Just tell the truth and face up to it. You did do something wrong & there are consequences. You need to be honest with your GF & yourself. If nothing else you will know you did the right thing in the end rather than months of lies & guilt.

star-pants

Only you can decide what you want. Grass is always greener / old crushes that were built up but may not live up to expectation.

Either way, you can't have both your gf & this new girl. One or the other.
You need to think about your current relationship and see if you really care for her, if this is really what you want. Or are you willing to give it up? if this other girl hadn't come along would you still be happy?

Wagon

Tell her. Let her decide what to do.

As a matter of interest, did you consider that you just fancy the hole of the girl she was all those years ago? Has she changed at all?

LegacyUser

From my experience, if I don't mention a girlfriend, it is because I want something to happen.

In fact, when I was seeing a girl I liked but it had turned long distance, I used to get it in to conversation quite early with women I met while travelling, that I had a gf..... just to prevent the situation from developing into something. Maybe I just knew that I was likely to falter given the opportunity.

Kimia

O god. You and your girlfriend were finished the second you kissed that girl.

You let someone else into your relationship and it will never be the same, regardless of whether your girlfriend finds out or not.

Break up with her and start over. It's over man.

Volvagia

If you want to pursue the old flame then you have to come clean and tell your gf and do it now.

However if you seriously want to stay with your gf then maybe you should inform the old flame that you have a gf and that you're very sorry for what happened etc etc but you want to stay with her - Then you can focus on trying to fix your current relationship.

As star-pants said only you can decide which way you want to go.

Vegeta

Is it a case of your second brain doing the thinking aka Lust

Give it 2-3 weeks at least and seriously have a think about it. Don't make a decision like this quickly.

How well do you know the crush, is it just her social side, of course she's lovely, she wanted to kiss you. That can be quite different to her normal behaviour.

You will have seen your girlfriend in every mood at this point, good, bad and you'll know how she reacts in arguments. The crush could be a moody, unreasonable bitch (prob not but just painting a picture here)

Harsh as this may seem, there will always be more attractive girls (physically) than your girlfriend.

Also I'd say something if you and your girlfriend were in difficulty but ditching her for a hot girl when she is, by your own admission, a great girlfriend, well that's very shallow.

Its a tough one to call, all I'll say is look past her good looks and ask yourself is she a better partner for you than your current girlfriend. Remember there will always be good looking girls out there, that's no reason to break up with a loving girl who you get on well with.

Take time over the decision, I fell out with one of my friends over a situation like the above.

He was in a similar situation to you, he asked my advice and I told him if he was sure he wanted to be with this new girl then he should break up with his girlfriend, not to cheat on her or tag her along, I also told him if he was uncertain that he should take a few weeks to sort his head out.

He broke up with his girlfriend, shagged the other bird and regretted his decision. Blamed me for telling him to break up with his girlfriend (ignoring context and any other advice I gave him). Its a decision he regretted for a long time.

SO take your time with the decision.

LegacyUser

What age are the two of you?

The lack of remorse in your post is scary.This is supported by the fact that you are even considering pursing something with this new girl. You seem confused....do you want to be single or do you want a new relationship with this girl?

For a man who loves his gf so much you spent a lot of time talking up the bit on the side.

If you want to be single then be single, let your gf be with someone who wants to be with her and only her. If you are sorry (which I dont think you are) then put it down to a night of stupidity and make sure it NEVER happens again.

Dont tell you gf what happened, you will break her heart all to ease your own conscience.

kittenkiller

The way you describe the other girl seems like you've already made your mind up to follow things up with her.
If you have any feelings for your girlfriend, you'll end it now with a "it's not you, it's me" excuse before you get found out she gets crushed.

turnfan

Unregistered wrote: »

If you want to be single then be single, let your gf be with someone who wants to be with her and only her. If you are sorry (which I dont think you are) then put it down to a night of stupidity and make sure it NEVER happens again.

Dont tell you gf what happened, you will break her heart all to ease your own conscience.

+1

Best advice here, sometimes you need to make a mistake to see the right path. Telling your GF achieves nothing.

However If you cheat again, you deserve to get your b*lls chopped off