Five yo with some anger issues.

Johnny_Dread

My sis seperated from her husband about 4 months ago. He was a verballly and mentally abuse man to both my sis and her two children and the reason she finally did it was because the little lad showed severe signs of emotional stress over the crimbo preiod.

He kept coming to my sis literally every few minutes for reassurance that every little thing was ok, whether he banged a finger or just to report to her something i or someone else he was playing with happened to say. Came a point where he got himself so stressed one day whem out that he literally went into a loop, he say a thing like, "may i said to johnny that i did this, but i didn't do this, yeah i did do this, will i do this?" etc on a continuous loop for about 2 hours. Eventually i got through to him that he was ok and he could stop himself from sayingthe things he was saying and that he had controll. He broke down in tears but settled. Brought him to the doc and he said that since he was so young care, love, calmness and attention should bring him back to the wonderful, intelligent, loving little child he had always been.

Things have improved wonderfully in the last few months, his school work etc is way ahead of most his age as is his language maths etc. He's a brilliant little boy. But the problem now seems to be that he is very, very hard on himself. If he is doing home wrok for example and gets one word wrong (out of the 30-40 he's learned to read) he can spiral into a temper fit that is so hard to get around. When we try to calm him etc he'll not look at you, go stone faced and say we are fighting with him or he'll have a rant or spit. This also happens sometimes when he is corrected for doing something a little naughty. This is not often but will happen everytime one of the above occurs.


My sis is tryna organise for him to see a child psychologist but I'm not so sure its healthy for a five yo as I'm afriad it will reinforce the idea tht there is something wromg with him.

As I said he is a wonderful little boy who has gone through a little too much, he is very sensitive.

If anyone has any advice on where to go or whats the best course of action whne an episode occurs it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanx in advance.

Wantobe

Johnny_Dread wrote: »

My sis is tryna organise for him to see a child psychologist but I'm not so sure its healthy for a five yo as I'm afriad it will reinforce the idea tht there is something wromg with him.

Something IS wrong with him at the moment. If it was a physical problem you wouldn't think twice about going to the doctor. I'd say getting expert advice is a really good idea. I know of some parents who took consultations with David Coleman. They found him really good. It wasn't necessary to have ongoing sessions.

Hope the little fella will be okay, I feel for your sister.

paperclip2

I know where you are coming from. I was advised to get my two year old assessed a year ago for his very aggressive behaviour in creche. I was concerned about the idea of 'labeling' him at such a young age. So I spoke to the psychologist and she told me that with young children the focus of the help can often be on the wider family and not solely on the idea of 'fixing' the individual child. Sometimes its more to do with giving the parents and family ways to help the little guy deal with issues that are affecting him in a healthier way.

Anyway with our chap we took him away from the creche and the aggressiveness vanished. My lad didnt even have to meet the therapist.

Hope it works out for your nephew OP.

Johnny_Dread

paperclip2 wrote: »

So I spoke to the psychologist and she told me that with young children the focus of the help can often be on the wider family and not solely on the idea of 'fixing' the individual child. Sometimes its more to do with giving the parents and family ways to help the little guy deal with issues that are affecting him in a healthier way.

Thats what i was hoping. I was saying the same to my sis. We all handle it quite well and help to difuse things and calm him down, but dont want him to have to carry this burden for the rest of his life. Think getting help to help ourselves is definitely the way to go.

As for what Wantobe said about David Coleman, is he exceptionally expensive? Dont really care about the cost as I've heard he is exceptional but wouldn't mind a heads up.

Thanx for yer replies.

IM0

I strongly advise you to see a child psychologist as it sounds like you have thought about and others have mentioned. These behaviours if not nipped in the bud now may well have an impact on how he grows up over the next 10 years or so. All he needs is to talk to a professional, and he wont have a clue they are a child psychologist surely? its all about the childs perception of what he believes the way things are, rather than actually how they are as such.

Sounds like the ex partner has had QUITE a negative impact on the little guy, so as I say you really should go down the child psych route at first, and see how it goes.

Johnny_Dread

me@ucd wrote: »

Sounds like the ex partner has had QUITE a negative impact on the little guy, so as I say you really should go down the child psych route at first, and see how it goes.

He did indeed! Little guy just beats himself up so much even if he does the slightest thing wrong he'll start calling himself stupid and an idiot and then this turns to anger directed at himself mostly. He's the sweetest kid, so loving and affectionate but I know that if its not sorted now it will have serious effects on his self esteem later on in life. Thing is his dad was treated the same way when he was little and thus continued the same trend. Thank god my sister was braver than his mother and did the right things now for the sake of her children.

Do you know of anyone who you could recommend? We got a referral letter from our GP but he didn't recommend anyone. We have an appointment with the Psychology dept at Our Ladies childrens hospital soon. Do you know if they are the right choice?

IM0

Recommendations? Im afraid not, only to say, a professional is a professional in that field, and since you have a referral from the GP, and you are in with the Psych dept at the Childrens hospital, if it was me, I would go with that to be honest, he's not going to recommend someone personally, but given that channel he's encouraging you to go down I would go with it. He's hardly likely to refer you to someone he feels isnt a competent professional (or body).

Good luck with it all anyway, your doing all the right things
you trust your GP with your physical health so why not your families emotional/mental health too.

Wantobe

Sorry, don't know how much he charges. I know he lives in Clare but presume he practices in Dublin too? No harm in ringing and asking if you are interested.