Relationship Breakdown

LegacyUser

For the past year ive been going out with the most fantastic girl in the world but about a month ago she decided to call time on our relationship as i done some silly things, Mainly the fact that she found a text on my phone to one of my mates saying that id like to ride another girl that was on my social networking site, I accepted that and just as it looked like she was going to give me another chance i left an innocent comment on this girls page, She went mad when she seen this and told me she hated me and wanted me out of her life for good,

Now i suffer from depression and at times during our relationship this caused problems and i often lied about silly things and the fact that i bombarded her with texts and phone calls it forced her dad down to mine to get me to lay off, Ive totally broken contact now but the only problem is we work in the same office and we have to see eachother everyday,

The last week ive realised i truely love this girl and want to be with her and her only but she wont listen anymore and says she doesnt care anymore that ive hurt her too much and too much has gone on for us to be even friends, im trying my best to get over her but nothing seems to work even to the extent i went out the weekend and scored someone else but still i cant get her out of my head every night when i go to sleep and every morning when i wake up its just her in my head,

we went through an awful lot together but finally looked happy at the turn of the year and were even saving to go to oz together, ive heard all the usual from my mates and family and now the fact her family probably hate me forever but ive lost all confidence when im out to even approach anyyone feeling no one will ever want me again,

but the real question is folks how do i win her back and show her ive changed or do i just have to accept the fact its over and move on for good and try and go out and enjoy nights out with my mates,im absolutely heart broken and going out of my head so much so that it gets so bad sometimes i feel id be better off dead to try forget this girl. Thanks in advance

bluecell99

For your own sake you have to step back.Accept that people make decisions,rightly or wrongly.You cannot force anything.Whatever about the rights and wrongs you must repect her decision at this point.

You said it yourself.Go out and socialise.Dont keep thinking about it.It will wreck your head.Just be nice and polite in work.It will get easier.You will come across as desperate and get yourself into all kids of trouble if you keep chasing her.

People break up all the time but you cant move forward unless you drop the drama and analysing and indulging in the what if's.

Maybe neither of ye are ready for a relationship.No big deal.It will happen in time if its meant to be with someone else.Maybe even in time she could change and see a mature person working with her and who know's then?

In ay case for now drop it and move on with your life.

AngryBadger

You don't. Simple as.

It takes 2 people for a relationship to work. When one or the other decides they're no longer invested in it then it's not going to work. She's called time on the relationship, and by harassing her to such an extent that her father had to get involved you showed a complete lack of regard or respect for her. It doesn't matter that you feel your head was all over the shop, in fact all that would prove is that you were so wrapped up in yourself and your feelings that you never considered hers.

Leave the girl alone. She's made up her mind. Get over it, and get on with your life.

Stheno

AngryBadger wrote: »

You don't. Simple as.

It takes 2 people for a relationship to work. When one or the other decides they're no longer invested in it then it's not going to work.

Leave the girl alone. She's made up her mind. Get over it, and get on with your life.

+1 OP you need to accept this and move on.

pikachucheeks

Unregistered wrote: »

but the real question is folks how do i win her back and show her ive changed or do i just have to accept the fact its over and move on for good and try and go out and enjoy nights out with my mates

I'd say move on - it's the hardest thing to do, but we all have to go through it.

I think you need space from her and to be distracted, so you can begin trying to get a fresh start.

I'd say give it a few months, then see where you're at.

She's obviously not very impressed with you at the moment and isn't backing down. So for her sake, as well as your own, give it a break for the time being!

Occupy yourself - take up a new hobby, spend more time with friends, see a councilor even! - You mentioned you suffer from depression, so this could be a good option for you!

In a few months time, you might have regained some confidence and you'll be able to look back on your relationship with some new-found perspective.
Then, perhaps you can approach her, if you still want to be in contact!

star-pants

Well - it really sounds like she's made her mind up (for now anyway). So unfortunately if she's not responded to you in anyway shape or form, you shall have to let go.

Don't contact her or harass her - give it time. Get out and maybe try a new hobby, or invest more time in one you already have. Focus on getting yourself stronger and better, and perhaps see a counsellor about the depression.

Who knows in a few months things may be a lot better, and she may even talk to you (not that anything might happen) but just that ye could even talk.

It's horrible how you're feeling now, but what's done is done and she's made her choice. It's really hard I know, but for both of ye, you need to step away from this situation.

LegacyUser

forget it...move on...it's over. even though yer still in love....take some time off and look at the whole situation rationally. lots of people experience this and get through and u will too. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD....you will be fine about it some day in the future.