Lorraine Keane Conspiracy Theories?

CountingCrows

'Xposé' presenter Lorraine Keane has announced that she is leaving the TV3 show.

Anyone know the truth behind this? Possible new junior minister? New Late Late presenter? Caught giving bj's for free clothes?

Turd Ferguson

She has been voted "Sexiest Inter-Stellar Being" by a group race of blind and deaf aliens and she will be re-locating to their home planet. Its the only logical explanation

CountingCrows

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

She has been voted "Sexiest Inter-Stellar Being" by a group race of blind and deaf aliens and she will be re-locating to their home planet. Its the only logical explanation

That voting pact of the Cardassian's & the Bajoran makes a mockery of the whole contest.

Cool_CM

Hopefully that excuse for a show is going the same way as all those expensive boutique shops in dublin.....

Hercule

well at least its good to see the cardassians and the bajorans finally getting along

Turd Ferguson

Hercule wrote: »

well at least its good to see the cardassians and the bajorans finally getting along

I agree. We dont want another SmegMar on our hands

Mr Benevolent

Hang on, where's Run_to_da_hills?

JerryHandbag

This is without doubt earth-shattering news. A day that shook the world, if you will. For never again shall we hear the words "This is Xpose, I'm Lorraine Keane".

I would say she is to become the new CE of aer lingus where she can launch planes with her hot air :cool:

Aidric

OMG's Lorraine gone, tragedy. I hope they replace her with Lisa Murphy.

me-skywalker

Apparently she is presenting the angelus.

Communicator

OMG. Lisa Murphy. What way does she speak??????????

dublinario

As a close, personal stalker of Mrs Keane, I can confirm that she has in fact decided to die. Impressed by the career boost death has given luminaries such as James Dean, Tupac Shakur, and in more recent times, Jade Goody, she's taken this decision with her career in mind. Her statement in full:

"I feel at this time in my life, it makes sense that I die. I'm hoping death will be a springboard, from which my career will move onto bigger and better successes. Though I won't be around to see these successes first hand, I will bask in them pre-emptively, between now and the day I club myself to death with the sawn-off leg of a household table."

bullpost

Communicator wrote: »

OMG. Lisa Murphy. What way does she speak??????????

OMG, Loike Thiiis

Wurly

Can Expose also leave our screens along with Lorraine.

Obviously these people have never heard of a recession. And they think that everyone has the money for 800 quid handbags and doggy salons. ffs.

It's all about this 'celebrity' bollix.. I don't blame Lorraine for leaving.

Caoimhín

Who is she?

bullpost

I believe she's headed for Calcutta - Theres a vacancy since Mother Theresa died

bangersandmash

Communicator wrote: »

OMG. Lisa Murphy. What way does she speak??????????

Everyone from Ballinteer speaks like that. Honestly.

JerryHandbag

I actually stood beside her once at a gig. Shes tiny. In a hobbit kinda way.

Wurly

bangersandmash wrote: »

Everyone from Ballinteer speaks like that. Honestly.

Hey!!!!!;)

Not true.:)

Mr.Lizard

JerryHandbag wrote: »

I actually stood beside her once at a gig. Shes tiny. In a hobbit kinda way.

You should have asked to see her ring.

meditraitor

I heard she will be the new Late Late show host

meditraitor

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

You should have asked to see her ring.

Disgusting..............:eek:

JerryHandbag

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

You should have asked to see her ring.

Should have, but I was distracted by her furry feet

Hagar

Lorraine, Gráinne and Síle all out of work and here's me with a new video camera.
There must be a way to make few Euros out of this.

Robbo

bullpost wrote: »

I believe she's headed for Calcutta - Theres a vacancy since Mother Theresa died

I believe Niall Quinn took that job in a caretaker capacity.

It's patently obvious that Lorraine was getting too close to the truth about glitzy red carpet events and the NWO in conjunction with Max Clifford and VIP magazine had to take her out.

javaboy

Smellebrities and Showbiz or TV or Conspiracy Theories. Take your pick.