Could you forgive?

LegacyUser

I found out my boyfriend of 2 years had a ONS - earlyish into our relationship but that isn't the point. Now I don't know exactly what happened, I don't want to know but I have been informed something did happen on a night out, just not sure if it was a kiss or more. I didn't ask for any more detail because it hurts too much, it happened around 6 months in, as far as I know. We were actually engaged by that point, rush job I know!

Would you forgive a drunken snog/s**g/whatever? I do love him but the thought of that really hurts me.

It isn't as if he had a full blown affair but it is sleazy and disrespectful to me.

Would you and have you forgiven this kind of situation? Is it really as serious as an affair? As far as I know it was a moment of weakness in a drunken state but how do I know it won't happen again?

That_Guy

At least he told you but honestly I think he told you a little too late. He should have told you straight out.... especially if you're now engaged.

Two years later is not cool. I personally could never forgive a cheater kissing or otherwise.

If he put it off this long for it to be only a kiss then surely more must have happened otherwise he certainly would've gotten it off his chest earlier than this if it was a kiss and nothing else.

smileysurfer

Well theres a big difference between a drunken kiss and a one night stand (which is a lot more imo)
I know its not going to be nice but... you need to find out what happened before you can even think of forgiving him . He cheated after ye got engaged? You deserve to know if he slept with her.
A kiss is forgivable imo but sleeping with someone else is another matter entirely. :eek:

AARRRGH

Decide which is more important to you -

- Forgive him and continue in a happy relationship with someone you love
- Don't forgive him and break up

I think option #1 is the nicer one...

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

I have been informed something did happen on a night out, just not sure if it was a kiss or more

What do you mean by "I have been informed"? Have you actually talked to him about this?

Honestly, I'd need more information.

hobochris

IMO, there is no plausible excuse for cheating. "I was drunk" is a commonly used as an excuse for cheating.. Its invalid non the less..

a kiss or a O.N.S its all the same. consciously cheating. If someone cheated on me.. I'd be dead to them(completely remove them from my life) upon it being revealed.

AARRRGH

hobochris wrote: »

IMO, there is no plausible excuse for cheating. "I was drunk" is a commonly used as an excuse for cheating.. Its invalid non the less..

a kiss or a O.N.S its all the same. consciously cheating. If someone cheated on me.. I'd be dead to them(completely remove them from my life) upon it being revealed.

I agree with the concept of 'conscious cheating'. It never happens by mistake.

But I also agree in forgiving people. We are human, and humans sometimes do stupid things.

I know it is difficult though, and painful, but I think you should always give someone a chance.

smileysurfer

AARRRGH wrote: »

I agree with the concept of 'conscious cheating'. It never happens by mistake.

But I also agree in forgiving people. We are human, and humans sometimes do stupid things.

I know it is difficult though, and painful, but I think you should always give someone a chance.

I really couldnt agree with this post more! really well said.

still..... OP you need to find out the dept of the crime before forgiving anything. Or you'l never stop wondering and tormenting yourself.

Redpunto

you need to find out what happened - if it happened to me i'd be gutted.

Who told you, how did you find out?

It is disrespectful to you and its gonna be hard to forgive him but thats the choice that you will have to make, to fully forgive him, put it behind you and have a life together but if you feel that you cant put it behind you then you need to go your seperate ways.

Maybe if its all too much take a break - even a weekend away with your friends, might give you a better perspective.

liger

Wow, thats bad. I'd say if you were only going out for a couple of weeks maybe he was unsure about you two. But six months in??? Thats bad. Why tell you now? Has he done something recently that he's testing the waters by telling you about the 2yrs ago thing???

Of course as has been said here already. It doesn't matter what has happened. Its if you still love him and feel that you can make the relationship still work. If you do then best of luck to you.

seanybiker

If it was me then no I couldnt forgive me missus and I would hunt down me man and kick seven shades outta him. Im not telling you to do that or anything. Its just me lol.
6 months although isnt long into a relationship , is long enough to have strong feelings for the person. I personally dont believe in all that "drunken kiss" bull.
Its upto you in the end what you do. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do.