Problem with new gf.

LegacyUser

Been with my current girlfriend for 3 months and everythings grand but sex (I think its me?). Its far from good as you'll get. Basicly to cut the story short, we've had sex 3 times. not one of those times have I made her orgasm or even close to one. At first I thought the problem was myself as Im not big down below at all. But I even gave her oral and what not but still nothing. Fair enough its early times yet but its pretty frustrating and sex is a big part of a relationship and I dont really want to be with someone who repels me of sex, or am I been too harsh?

cafecolour

Statistically, most women don't orgasm from penetrative sex. Ask if she normally orgasms during masturbation. If yes, then ask her to guide you when you are doing orally as to what's working or not. There's no shame in it - you can be expected to know her tastes automatically.

For comparison, try having her give you a hand job, without telling her faster/slower/tighter/looser, etc. Not going anywhere, is it

Jackeenboy

How about you do not solicit posters to pm you about sex and you take the time to read the
rules for this forum which you will find in the charter.
Thaedydal

Zaph

Jackeenboy wrote: »

If your looking for sex tips, Im your man, PM me kid !;)

Before posting here again please read the charter, specifically the part about unhelpful and off-topic posts.

Tirabaralla

3 times is not enough to judge anything.
The only thing you can be sure is you didn't "click" spontaneously.
For some people that is very important (it would be for me), others are not to bothered...what is sure is also that you can "learn" from eachother...so ask, talk, request...in the most respectful manner but without fear.
My 2 cents

star-pants

I think you're being a bit too harsh. The first few times of being with someone sexual is usually a bit nervous, still getting used to each other, trying to be more comfortable. These and other reasons could be why she's not climaxing. Also not all girls climax from penetrative / just oral sex either. There can be a whole trust thing involved too.

Just have fun and give it time and don't let climaxing be the focus of the intimacy.

Otis Driftwood

star-pants wrote: »

I think you're being a bit too harsh. The first few times of being with someone sexual is usually a bit nervous, still getting used to each other, trying to be more comfortable. These and other reasons could be why she's not climaxing. Also not all girls climax from penetrative / just oral sex either. There can be a whole trust thing involved too.

Just have fun and give it time and don't let climaxing be the focus of the intimacy.

QFT

3 times is nothing in the grand scheme of things mate.Ask her what she likes.If she is a bit shy about telling you ask her to guide your hand while you stimulate her.Most of all have fun finding out.

AARRRGH

notgood wrote: »

Basicly to cut the story short, we've had sex 3 times. not one of those times have I made her orgasm or even close to one.

A lot of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. The problem is they are not totally comfortable having sex or do not fully understand their bodies.

The problem is not you, so don't worry. Even if you are 'doing something wrong' it is up to the girl to gently correct you.

John Mason

OP , you sound very young.

You need to speak to your GF and find what she likes.

We are not built like men, sometimes you have to do a bit of digging around to find out the trigger buttons

Bottle_of_Smoke

THe more you have sex the better aquainted your bodies will get and you'll get used to each others rhythms. Early days my friend.

CaptainSkidmark

Zaph wrote: »

Before posting here again please read the charter, specifically the part about unhelpful and off-topic posts.

i taught that was totally on topic?

Wibbs

CaptainSkidmark commenting on a mod action is against this forums charter, take it to feedback or you will be banned. Thank you.

That_Guy

I wouldn't get too bogged down about this. Part of a relationship is finding out new things about each other.

Take your time. It's only be three months and you've only had sex three times. It's not the end of the world. Just take your time and talk to each other about what feels good to you both. It should be an enjoyable experience for both of you. And remember don't feel pressured into something you may not be comfortable doing.

Taltos

There are some women who will just not orgasm from sex or manual stimulation.

Suggest you treat her to a good vibrator - eg Rampant Rabbit - but best to let her choose it - make the trip a bit of a day out.
She may want to try later alone - but you two can have great fun together later.

But do not get bogged down that it is you - yes it might be - but it might also not be
Somethings take time - and sometime the best things are worth waiting for.

sam34

AARRRGH wrote: »

A lot of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. The problem is they are not totally comfortable having sex or do not fully understand their bodies.

The problem is not you, so don't worry. Even if you are 'doing something wrong' it is up to the girl to gently correct you.

the reason the majority of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex is not "because they are not totally comfortable having sex or do not fully understand their bodies".

its down to basic anatomy and physiology.

LegacyUser

sam34 wrote: »

the reason the majority of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex is not "because they are not totally comfortable having sex or do not fully understand their bodies".

its down to basic anatomy and physiology.

+1

I am more than comfortable having sex and fully understand my body... in fact I understand it enought to know that penetrative sex alone is not going to make me orgasm.

OP, 3 times is very little, you need to take your time and have some fun exploring each others bodies & getting to know each other. Orgasms will happen in time.

I might add that if your gf is young she mightn't be fully aware of her body herself. The reason women reach there sexual peak in their 30's as opposed to men in their 20's is because we are much more complicated creatures and can take a while to figure out & get comfortable with our bodies

~Trixiebelle~

notgood wrote: »

we've had sex 3 times.

Ok, perhaps its just me!! but what only 3 times in 6 weeks??? :eek:(discount the 1st 6 weeks (i personably believe its a reasonable time to wait before getting intimate!!).... You guys should be in honeymoon stage?!! Do you think maybe she is just not that into sex in general?? You seem like you made the effort with the oral, so its sounds likes it not you... If she didnt fancy you or like you in that way though surely she wouldnt have went back for the 2nd and 3rd time??? so im kinda perplexed by it!!

tbh, i would just please yourself and not worry about her, as she doesnt sound to get too involved in the process.... be a gent though and hand her a tissue after;):D

AARRRGH

sam34 wrote: »

the reason the majority of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex is not "because they are not totally comfortable having sex or do not fully understand their bodies".

its down to basic anatomy and physiology.

That's not true.

If a woman fully understood her body, she'd know what position to get into to ensure her g-spot is being hit, e.g. on top and leaning backwards while touching herself.

She may not do the above due to -

a. not fully understanding her body
b. not totally comfortable having sex

sam34

AARRRGH wrote: »

That's not true.

If a woman fully understood her body, she'd know what position to get into to ensure her g-spot is being hit, e.g. on top and leaning backwards while touching herself.

She may not do the above due to -

a. not fully understanding her body
b. not totally comfortable having sex

not all women orgasm from g-spot stimulation.

the majority of women will orgasm from clitoral stimulation.

woman may prefer some sexual positions for various reasons - eg intimacy- but these positions may not lend themselves to clitoral and /or g-spot stimulation.