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If YOU are an alcoholic, should your spouse have to stop?

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  • 19-04-2009 9:41pm
    #1
    GodOfRadio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 66 ✭✭


    I have stopped drinking, but my wife still drinks on the weekends. Is it unfair to ask her to stop?


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    #2
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    If she is drinking around you and you've giving up then obiously she isin't helping you .But if she were to drink someplace else away from you ,like in a pub with friends then I think that's a fair deal .


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    #3
    cue
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭cue


    If you were asked to stop drinking just because someone else had stopped, what would you think?


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    #4
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    GodOfRadio wrote: »
    I have stopped drinking, but my wife still drinks on the weekends. Is it unfair to ask her to stop?

    Yes completely unfair. Your wife didn't give up drinking, you did. You can repay her for not giving her any sympathies for her hangovers :P:P:P:P

    What you can ask for, is that there is no drink around the house. that is unfair having it around the place.


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    #5
    Bubbles09
    Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭Bubbles09


    It depends does it bother you if she drinks and you don't? fair enuf if she handles her drink well and when goes out with her pals, but when ye go out together she should stick to minerals to support you, it wouldn't be fair you watching her get drunk if it does bother you or if she doesn't handle it well. no drink at home is a good rule too if your really determined. :pac: Aren't drunk people funny - they get a stupified, makes you happy to be sober watching them :rolleyes:


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    #6
    Bren1609
    Closed Accounts Posts: 459 ✭✭Bren1609


    It think that your wife should stop drinking as a sign of solidarity. I'm sure it's in your wifes best interests for you stop drinking also. It not of case of tit for tat "why should I stop drinking because you have a problem". I think it would be very insensitive for any partner to continue drinking when their other half was trying to recover from alcoholism.

    My sisters long term boyfriend had a drinking problem and checked into the Rutland clinic for 5 or 6 weeks. When he got out my sister continued to bring him to the pub to socialise and would sit there drinking in front of him. Needless to say he fell off the wagon. I thought this was very insensitive of my sister.


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    #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,025 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    While it would be a great show of solidarity for you, I think in the end, you have to get used to people drinking around you. Its very hard, I know, but wherever you go in life, you will come across people drinking.

    best thing for you is, stay away from social situations where there will be alchohol.At least for the fist 6 months or so anyway, maybe you could also ask your wife to use gum or brush her teeth after drinking, because believe it or not after a while you will find the smell disgusting :)

    If you have friends who you associate with drinking, just avoid them for a while, so you dont get your head into "drinking"again.

    maybe after a while when your wife sees how healthy and happy you are without alcohol, she may decide to quit herself anyway.

    best of luck to you.
    :)


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