Last night I changed my life... :)

mardybum

Hi everyone...

I don't know anyone else who doesn't drink, so I suppose that's why I'm posting here. I'm in that hoary old chestnut of a problem. My drinking is totally normal within my circle, but if I lived in Canada or somewhere I'd probably be considered an alcoholic! Actually its been over the top probably in most people's eyes.

Binge drinking, drinking until 6,7,8 in the morning some weekends, I used to take pills nearly every weekend and do a lot of mid week drinking... I'm 24 now and have returned to college since September last year. Since then I've cut down drastically, not particularly on purpose, just had no money and lots of extra curricular and part time work to do! I rarely go 'out' now, sometimes drink cans at home etc...

Anyway, the less I drink, the less I want to. I'm beginning to hate the hold it has over my life - and by that I mean my social group. Practically anything we do involves drinking in some at least moderate way. I've never really met anyone ever who doesnt engage in this binge drinking at least every month... Have I just had my eyes closed? If when I met people I casually mentioned that 'I don't drink that much'; would it mean that I'd end up with friends who agreed, or it might spark off a similar reaction?

Last night I went out without drinking for the first time in my whole life. It was a joint birthday party for 2 friends, so there was a lot of people I don't know that well. Every one of them commented on my not drinking! Well, it was a great night. I thought I'd feel left out or something, but actually I was in great form, at least 2 beats quicker than everyone around me! i think I fed off the more open vibe of the crowd. I also saw clearly the mess some people got themselves into. I was also able to dance the night away, and stay up til 5, was the last one awake and the first one up this morning, tidied the kitchen and my room and not a trace of tiredness!

So I loved it. But I am kinda worried that people will think I'm a dry ****e, won't wanna invite me places coz I'm the sober one, I'll remember everything blah blah blah. I know I never never understood people who didn't drink. Me and my friends used to talk about how wierd those people were, and how you couldn't feel comfortable around them. Well the shoe is on the other foot now. I know there's the whole argument of, if they were your real friends they'd stand by you. True, but they'll have a point. I mean to stop drinking altogether would be a pretty huge change in me and my life, so I would be a different person. And I've never met anyone else who even considered it, never mind did it!

Any thoughts from anyone?

zero_nine

Stopping drinking is the best decision that a person can make. Keep blogging away, its good for encouraging other people. I take it you're a fella? Girls generally don't stay up to 6 or 7 in the morning!

mardybum

No i'm a girl! Like I said, my group of friends like to party, and hard, so it's not uncommon for us all to be awake that late... there's no real segregation between guys/girls at all with us.

Thanks though, I do feel good about it. Although I'm not doing a cold turkey no more drink ever will pass my lips thing, I just feel like, if I want to drink, 1 or 2 should be enough.

af_thefragile

Once you stop drinking you do start to find parties a little boring after while though. Like after around 1-2am when everyone is really drunk and it all just gets messy, if you're not really drunk you won't enjoy it much.

As you stated it yourself, the less you drink, the less you want to. The reason i see most people drink is "for the buzz" and to get drunk. Not many people drink cuz they like the taste of it. And so if you quit getting drunk, you'll realise you're soon drinking less and less.

But then you'll also start to discover ways of having fun times without feeling the need of alcohol. You might also make new friends who don't drink much. Life will get much better as you'll realise you can do more to enjoy life than getting totally wasted every other night.

And then it is quite possible because of that you may end up spending less time with your drinking mates. They may also stop inviting you to parties and such as you yourself said they may feel "uncomfortable" around someone who's sober and probably will also feel a little jealous cuz you can have fun without getting drunk and you've lately been doing a lot more with your life as you've stopped getting wasted every other night. This is when you realise these aren't your true mates as they're just with you cuz you're more of a drinking partner to them than a good friend. So you'll very soon start to differentiate between your true friends and your drinking partners too.

And so its your decision whether you wanna give up drinking or not. It is kinda true the level of your social life will slightly go down when you stop drinking (even just binge drinking) but at the same time you'll discover more fun things to do which may be more rewarding than getting wasted every weekend, which might balance it out. Not to mention the health benefits too.

zero_nine

mardybum wrote: »

No i'm a girl! Like I said, my group of friends like to party, and hard, so it's not uncommon for us all to be awake that late... there's no real segregation between guys/girls at all with us.

Thanks though, I do feel good about it. Although I'm not doing a cold turkey no more drink ever will pass my lips thing, I just feel like, if I want to drink, 1 or 2 should be enough.

Girl eh? I'm 24 too and am, ahem, a guy. You single? I should probably delete that post about that one time i had erectile dysfunction before I try to chat you up :P LOL

nobodythere

mardybum wrote: »

So I loved it. But I am kinda worried that people will think I'm a dry ****e, won't wanna invite me places coz I'm the sober one, I'll remember everything blah blah blah.

You were still in good form, so nobody minded that you weren't drinking. Anyone who would think you're a dry-shíte has obviously not gone out for the night with you. The worst case is that they won't drink as much or maybe not talk to you when they're drunk because it's a bit embarrassing talking to a sober person when you're locked!

But really, most people have thought about it or tried to do it at some time of another, you have your friends being supportive around you so no need to get paranoid.

Also to post above.....

InTranceWeTrust

It will probably affect the way your friends feel about you, but don't let it stop you. IMO alcohol is one of the worst drugs in existence. I rarely rarely drink (once every three months or so and never to the point where I get a hangover).

I find going out very boring*, and I only do so if its a special occasion like a mates birthday or if I'm feeling horny and want to score a girl. I do indulge in other substances on these occasions and for that reason I have a bit of a reputation as a "druggy". In reality however the drugs I use a benign in comparison to alcohol and I do far less damage to myself than my friends do.

People alway ask me why I'm not drinking on a night out. I hate people knowing I'm on drugs so I rarely use that as an excuse. Sometimes I say anti-biotics, but if you say I just don't feel like it then you really do appear a dry ****e. I've taken to saying I'm just high on life with a little wink and smile.

Its sad the culture we live in. The only time I see my friends is at night, and the chances of them remembering out conversation the next night are slim. Altough I love them, I'm trying to find a new group who share the same interests as me.

Until then I've taken to doing things I want to do on my own, even things that are better enjoyed in a group. Better on your own than not at all.




* I mean going out to the pub or going out to a **** club with a **** dj playing **** music from the latest now hits cd. I love going clubbing in the true sense (ie eating crystal and going to see a proper dj playing proper dance music. However MDMA isn't very good for you so I only do this every month or so)

Amalgam

Thumbs up to the OP, you'll get the blues.. and it takes a good while for the 'urge' in your mind to stop. Amazing the amount of time drinking takes up in your social life, that void will probably be astounding to you. Extra money in your pocket too.

I gave up for about 18 months. I started again but that lust for the drink just isn't there. I have two bottled ales every week or so. Everyone's different.

mardybum

Thanks everyone! I feel so positive about it, you know. Went for a lovely long walk this morning in the sun, went for another walk on saturday night with my boy and it was just lovely to be able to do that! To be able to want to do it.

I'm not anti drugs really,like the other poster I don't mind takin pills or mdma the odd time, or smokin the odd j, I just don't like feeling reliant on a stimulant to have fun. I want to enjoy that stuff and feel excited about it, not use it as a social crutch or a given that fun=being off your face.

Feel sad we live in a society that fosters this kind of behaviour. Seems everyone I know has ended up like this regardless of background or upbringing

Gonzales

Good for you, I love to hear about people seeing the light.

Quitting altogether is definetly depriving yourself of the enjoyment of a drink, i reckon just continue to moderate. If you feel like a drink you can go ahead & have one or two or whatever but the important thing is that you have taken a step back & observed the behaviour or yourself & your Peers critically & you modified it & now feel better for it - Result!

good luck with your new outlook.:)