Girl seriously likes me more than I like her

JohnGalt

A friend of mine who I get along very well with has recently started making me very uncomfortable. We are both single, and she has started saying that she loves me, and when she texts me she ends the messages with an XXX. I am not interested in her in any way apart from friendship, and I am finding it difficult to tell her. When we were away for a weekend with a group of other friends she kept acting like this towards me and it was very difficult for me to tell her to stop. I have no interest whatsoever, but how do you say that to a friend like her?

SarahSassy

Tell her you have signed up to internet dating and have a couple of people to meet next week..

Are you sure she is not just being friendly. Men have a way of blowing these things out of proportion...

bubblewrap

Does she not just love you as a mate? Women are very free with xxx's on texts, unless she has physically tried it on?

Otis Driftwood

Ego much?

Unless she has specifically expressed romantic intentions then I wouldnt read too much into it.I have a couple of female friends that sign off from texts or emails with xxx and have told me they love me,they are just affectionate people.

StormWarrior

Alot of girls leave kisses at the end of text messages, it usually doesn't mean anything at all. Also, how does she tell you she loves you? If she just says, "Love you" when you've been hanging out and are now parting, or something like that, I wouldn't think anything of it. Men do often see come-on signals where there are none. However, if she is being serious, then I think you should subtly let her know you're not interested, go on dates with other people, talk about how much you fancy another girl, tell her how great it is having a totally platonic female friend like her because you get to understand a womans point of view, etc.

smileysurfer

Did she say '' Im in love with you'' or something like aww love you'' . If its the first and its making you that uncomfortable I suggest (only suggesting) that you say something to her. No point in her not knowing how you feel either as she'l be wasting her time on someone whos not interested.
I leave xxx's at the end of my messages to friends, doesnt mean Im in love with them tho.

JohnGalt

Yeah I know loads of girls say I love you and end texts with XXX, but the reason I think this is a bit different is because it is only recently that she has started acting towards me in this manner. There is a change in the way she acts towards me in general though, subtle things, she looks at me differently, she is slightly less comfortable just talking as she used to be, I really don't think I am blowing it out of proportion. I want to let her down easily because I really value her as a friend, but I am sure that it is going to have an effect on our friendship.

SarahSassy

Hmmm... Still not convinced...

Be wary cos you may look like the idiot 'letting her down easily' if it turns out she has no interest in you...

bubblewrap

In that case, don't rise to her (literally ). Try and get out there dating and give her the hint indirectly. Talk about girls you like etc...

NervousNude

Ignorance is by far your best ploy in this situation, DO NOT confront it head on. If she does, in fact, love you (which I wouldn't be too sure about anyway) as soon as it's out in the open it's going to royally screw everything up.

If she doesn't like you, you're going to make a big tit out of yourself if you launch into a big explanation of why you're not in love with her, you're such good friends blah blah.

If you are convinced that she's got the hots for you, going out with her and scoring someone else should quash it nicely. Or release her inner psycho....either way at least you'll know

Nasty place to be in, i've been both sides of that coin at variors stages in my life, and it's not comfortable when the penny drops.
I would advise against relying on hints to do the job, because hints don't deal with the "what if I do XYZ?" problem. You need her to know you're not looking for more from her, and aren't offering more for her than she thinks. Don't just blurt out "i don't love you", allow it to come up in conversations. (On mobile, running out of space, will continue in new post)

Continued: and just be honest. One way or the other, she needs to know, not guess. To the post before mine:

Ignorance will kill her inside every day until she gets the point. It may be a week. It may be a month. It may be 4 years of torment. Far, far better off she knows for definite, no chance of getting it wrong. (It's bloody tough trying to keep a mobile post coherent, i'll be back tomorrow from a nice big PC!)

NervousNude

Deleted User wrote: »

Continued: and just be honest. One way or the other, she needs to know, not guess. To the post before mine:

Ignorance will kill her inside every day until she gets the point. It may be a week. It may be a month. It may be 4 years of torment. Far, far better off she knows for definite, no chance of getting it wrong. (It's bloody tough trying to keep a mobile post coherent, i'll be back tomorrow from a nice big PC!)

I agree with all this, but I was actually referring to ignorance on his part. Until the fateful moment when she blurts it out, it's a lot easier to diffuse!

supershazf

i would just have a regualr conversation with her bout relationships and stuff like that+throw in how u r happy being single+its less hassle being friends with a girl than going out with her OR you could throw in a story about a 'friend' of yours that had the same relationship ye have+they got involved+what the hell was he thinking cos it was a disaster thank god that never happened to us sort of thing.i had the same thing a few years ago.friends with a guy best of friends+we ended up going out 4a while xcept i was way more into him than he was with me looking back it was such a bad idea...havent seen him now in years.good luck with it anyway