Boyfriend left my 30th birthday party

LegacyUser

just turned 30 and didnt want a big fuss made so had
my family and a few close friends over for dinner and drink.
including my boyfriend of 1 year. some of my family travelled
from the UK for this night and from the country, everything was
going fine and everyone having a good time. but without any explaination
my boyfriend wanted to go home at 10.30pm. so he just up and left the
party just as it was getting going. he also didnt drink not that it made a difference but he likes a few at social events, i asked was he feeling unwell he said he felt fine. i'm a bit upset i am over reacting.

prinz

Ask him what happened? Anything could've been on his mind. Don't over-react just ask him. Upset without all the facts is fine, but you have no idea what could have been affecting him. Find out why before you react - over or otherwise. I know if I'm worrying about something, the last thing I feel like is (a) drinking and (b) being at a party surrounded by people having a great time.

Oh The Humanity

You do deserve an explanation here.

It'd be better be something good.

LegacyUser

I asked and didnt get one, i did get an apology. but no explanation. nothing
just sorry. that was that. and worse is he seems to be fine now, as if nothing
happened

*Honey*

That's not good - he's apologising that he left but you still don't know why? He needs to explain it to you... that's just not on.

LegacyUser

I'm sorry but you don't seem to have a close relationship with each other if he can't even explain his actions to you. Has he been acting different in the last while or more quiet around you?

smileysurfer

I understand your frustration, hes being way too vague.
Ask again, If hes mature and cares about you then an explanation wont kill him.

On the other hand tho, the fact that he didnt drink when he normally would might mean that he did in fact feel sick or something on the night and didnt feel comfortable telling you.
No one here can tell you tho, you need to ask him again to be sure.

r3nu4l

Could be that he felt nervous and overwhelmed.

Maybe you have big brothers that look like gorillas and have the words 'kill' and 'hate' tattooed on their knuckles and they had a 'quiet word' with him about what would happen if he hurt you?

Joke aside, there's probably a decent reason for this but his unwillingness to explain it may be more to do with his insecurity. However, he needs to understand that this is a problem for you and therefore needs to explain it.

LegacyUser

the thing is I cant ask again, as its like a repeat show, I get upset and still wont
get an answer. to be honest I dont think there is an answer. as far as I can see
he just wanted to go home. it was like the song its my party & i'll cry if I want too.
I feel a bit humiliated in front of my family and friends, but know they care about me
so I will get over that. Just dont understand why, no reason as far as i can see. nothing
happened at the party it was well easy and fun

Vegeta

Maybe he was having a sh1t time and wanted to leave and let you enjoy it with as little drama as possible? (I know at one of my birthday parties my girlfriend had a terrible time as I had to go around and say thanks to everyone who came and she felt awkward and uncomfortable in that situation, understandably. Maybe he was the same, did you talk to him much or leave him to fend for himself, is he socially adept or a bit awkward at times)

Maybe he's an attention seeker who saw you get a lot of attention at your party, made him jealous so by him leaving it refocused the attention on him.

Whatever the reason I'd be asking for an explanation as an apology is welcome but an explanation is needed. Will he do the same in the future?

SarahSassy

TBH, if he just couldnt be bothered and just headed off home cos he didnt feel like staying then he is a very selfish git.

Ask him if there is anything wrong at home, work or with him and if he has no explanation then the explanation is that he is a self-centered sod.

Oh The Humanity

Right, either he is working for the secret service or something is up.

If he has something going on which he can't share for a good reason he kind of should have come up with at least a convincing lie.....

I hope there is nothing wrong....with him or any of his family......you know what I mean....could he have got bad news that he is obliged to keep secret and cant tell you .....something like that....

What is he like normally? Is he normally straightforward or what?

My mind would be doing backflips here!

Dublin_Gunner

Maybe he didn't get on with some of your family, or somebody said something that got him all bothered / upset and feels like a bit of an eejit if he tells you?

Could be many things.

I for one, would not leave my OH at HER party for whatever reason - unless it was something that really required me leaving, in which case I'd tell her. But then again, different strokes for different folk.

I could throw out all sorts of over the top reasons for him leaving early - none of which would help.

Maybe there was no reason at all, he was just in a stinker of a mood, and wanted to leave before he got annoyed or caused an argument with someone.

Either way, he really should at least give you some sort of a clue as to why your BF left YOUR 30th BDAY bash.

Its bad form.

LegacyUser

did ask was all ok at home/work etc. and sad but true i think you have hit the nail on the head. no reason to leave and not bothering to try and give me some sort of explanation.
also he is usually the life & soul of the party. instead he sat in the corner and didnt say boo to anyone including me. its not like these people are stranges he's in the house a lot. it was just bad form on his part.

SarahSassy wrote: »

TBH, if he just couldnt be bothered and just headed off home cos he didnt feel like staying then he is a very selfish git.

Ask him if there is anything wrong at home, work or with him and if he has no explanation then the explanation is that he is a self-centered sod.

SarahSassy

If he could just not be bothered then its extremely poor form. I would have to seriously consider my feelings for him.

Saucey-Susie

i'd kill him!! hehehe

honestly, i dont know what to tell you because i know that would be the last thing my boyfriend would do. even if he was sick and felt like he was dying, knowing it was my 30th and having my friends and family around he would be there with me cos i know how much he loves me. simple as

i would be getting so frustrated at not getting an answer if i was you. extremely immature

dellas1979

Jees you are very calm. Fair play to you. If it was me I'd go though him for a short cut.

Listen, its bugging you. And its going to continue bugging you (hence posting here) so in order to sort this out you ARE going to have to sit him down and ask him what happened. Are you scared to get an answer out of him? Are you scared of his reaction?

Does he know your family? Was he a bit overwhelmed? Was he playing a match or something the next day? Did he feel like you were ignoring him?There is a mine of possibilities, none of which we can answer here.

If you can live with him doing that with no explanation, move on. If you cant, you have to ask him.