How do people do it?

LegacyUser

i don't know if this is more suitable for personal issues or here but ill post it here anyway!!

recently single after first major relationship, only 21yrs, i'm happy enough with my looks and have been told im a good looking girl and i think i dress fairly well!!

so all seems fine ya!!! but then when im out why in the name of god doesn't anyone ever approach me?? i wouldn't really go up to someone i didn't know and start chatting them up unless i was at the bar and they were beside me and caught their eye but i just couldn't go up to some random guy and start talking to them (i know i know hypocrite expecting them to do it when i wouldn't but like what could ya say to them i wouldn't know where to start) iv tried being more smiley and chatty and more open to people but like it just doesn't happen all i seem to get are the really realy drunk guys fallin all over me loaded at the end of the night!!

i don't know what i'm doing wrong it was never this hard to get a kiss when i was younger!! or maybe im just gone downhill entirely since i was younger! ha!

anyway just looking for advice!!!

Otis Driftwood

You have already answered your own question.Its a 2 way street.If you spot a guy you fancy go and introduce yourself.I gaurantee the guy will be highly impressed.I was out one night last summer and some random girl tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I wanted to go for a cigarette.The best thing was she didnt even smoke herself.Apparantly she had spotted me while she was outside with one of her amigos and used it as an ice breaker.I was blown away by her moxy and we ended up dating for a short while based solely on this.Its just about having a little bit of self confidence!

That_Guy

Personally from my point of view I'm very nervous about making the first move. I can talk to girls but I just can't initiate a conversation with girls. I find it difficult. Don't really have the confidence.

We live in a modern day when guys aren't always the one who have to start a conversation. Try it yourself and see what happens. Nothing to lose...... Bit hypocritical in me saying that but who knows what could happen.

LegacyUser

I agree with the first two posters, there is nothing to stop a girl chatting to a guy.

But I think you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Just relax and try to have a good time when you're out, rather than thinking of meeting someone. Ironically this will help you meet someone. People like people who are relaxed and fun to be with, not someone who is self conscientious and constantly worried about how others perceive them.

In any case, you said you are recently single. Why not enjoy this time? There's no need to go straight into something new

Rob_l

OP there are a lot of factors at play here and none really have anything to do with how you look.

Firstly the woman that will get most of the attention are people who like attention its easy to talk to someone who is easily approachable, right.

Secondly do you go out with larger groups or smaller groups?

Again it is much easier for people to approach someone when they are not surrounded by a large group of friends, very few people are willing to risk that much public humiliation if they think their target might not interested.

You say you had no problem when you were younger this acctually cause issues later for people as in if it things come to you when your younger you never get into that habit of having to do anything this is fine when your young and you get the "will you meet my mate over there" childish stuff.

This doesn't work for adults

AS the other posters have said if you want somethign to happen sometimes you have to do it yourself. Yes it is scary at the start but rarley in life is anything worth having easy.

Take some risks but dont stress about it life has a funny way of hitting you with things when you least expect.

The most important thing is to have fun though.

Oh The Humanity

Hey -you might be TOO goodlooking!

Yes, its true, sometimes people hesitate to approach very goodlooking people as they believe them to be out of their league!

If you usually dress up and make a good effort then try dressing a bit more casual, hide the legs, jeans and t-shirt....see how you get on!

You might be suprised!