Giving up alcohol..

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I am a 26 year old girl who has decided to give up alcohol. I am sober 1 week today and although I feel proud of myself I am also worried about staying away from the demon booze.

The reason I decided to quit was that alcohol was starting to affect me in a very negative way. I wasn't a daily drinker but I was binge drinking every weekend since I was 15. I would also drink a bottle of wine midweek, usually on a Wednesday or Thursday evening. I might go a couple of pints on a Monday too. Basically I was drinking way too much and things were getting messy. I kept waking up with bruises on my body and no idea how I got home. I slept with people I didn't even find remotely attractive. I was balcking out all the time, missing work, craving alcohol etc.

I already feel a million times better but everybody's reaction to my quitting has been very downheartening. My friends laughed at first and tried to persuade me to drink over the weekend but I said no. I was called boring when I had a 7up down the local. Also, there are a few work nights out coming up and I'm usually the first to the bar ordering shots, dancing and generally being 'great craic'. I feel that I can still be good fun without alcohol but I know my work mates will pressure me and be very dissapointed that I'm not drinking.

I was thinking maybe I could just have say 3 drinks and then switch to water or coke (to make it look like it's vodka and coke). I'm just worried because our society revolves so much around alcohol - birthdays, weddings, dates even funerals involve drinking.

Any advice on how to cope?

Also, how long before my body recovers fully from years of boozing?

Thanks a mill..

MagicMarker

Tell your ''friends'' to STFU. Personally, I wouldn't socialize with them anymore considering they're a bunch of gob****es.

LegacyUser

I decided to stop drinking a few months ago after having one more hangover than I could be ar*d dealing with, and most people didn't believe that I would actually do it because everyone makes these famous hangover threats. Anyhow I'm still not drinking and intend to keep off it for the next while too. I'm still going out and even managed Xmas, and Paddy's Day and Easter... It's great being able to hop in the car when I want to head home too.

Other people do react funnily, but that's their problem! It makes people feel guilty that they are drinking, or they start telling me about that month in 2005 when they stopped drinking... Their issues I say.

On the nights when I feel like heading home, I do. Before I would have done a few shots to make the night more interesting, but now I just call a crap night a crap night and head home. Being able to do things on Saturdays and Sundays make it more than worth it cos I used to get horrible hangovers.

Stick with it and start doing all the things you couldn't do with a hangover so you appreciate the difference it makes. Now if I have a late night and not enough sleep, even that discomfort alone is enough to keep me away from boozing cos I can't be bothered with a hangover. I might go back having the odd one in future but not feeling the need at the moment.

Best of luck and stick with it, you'll feel better, save money and prove to yourself you can do it!

drinkup

drinkup wrote: »

I already feel a million times better but everybody's reaction to my quitting has been very downheartening. My friends laughed at first and tried to persuade me to drink over the weekend but I said no. I was called boring when I had a 7up down the local.

It's times like this you know who your real friends are. These guys are idiot drinking buddies, just tell them it's none of their business what you're drinking or better yet ditch them altogether and find friends who are real friends.

Also, there are a few work nights out coming up and I'm usually the first to the bar ordering shots, dancing and generally being 'great craic'. I feel that I can still be good fun without alcohol but I know my work mates will pressure me and be very dissapointed that I'm not drinking.

You're not there as a hired entertainer. If they try pressure you , remember you're doing it for your own health and wellbeing and tell them to back off.
You don't have to stop dancing or having fun, as you know, just because you're not drinking. Again, if they make an issue of it remind them it's none of their business what you're drinking.

I was thinking maybe I could just have say 3 drinks and then switch to water or coke (to make it look like it's vodka and coke). I'm just worried because our society revolves so much around alcohol - birthdays, weddings, dates even funerals involve drinking.

I think tbh given your history with it, you're best to cut it out entirely, at least for a year or so. It'll get you used to dealing with people being overly nosy (which you'd still have to deal with after the 3rd drink) and you'll be used to going out without alcohol altogether. It'll also make it easier to stay off for an evening than thinking "just one more" and back you are to the start.

Any advice on how to cope?

Stay away from people who aren't the slightest bit interested in you and just want another drinking mate/entertainment/feel better about their own unhealthy binging.
When I stopped drinking my friends were supportive - I didn't have a problem previously, I just decided I wasn't doing it anymore - and we still went out and had good times, and they agreed you should be able to go out and have fun without drinking. They drink, I don't(I do rarely, but never more than one, but that was after a few years of no drinks at all), and the only people who ever obsessed over what I was drinking weren't friends + had drinking issues of their own. You'd be surprised how much you'll hate the taste of alcohol once you're off it a while.
Good luck!

Davei141

bluewolf wrote: »

It's times like this you know who your real friends are. These guys are idiot drinking buddies, just tell them it's none of their business what you're drinking or better yet ditch them altogether and find friends who are real friends.


You're not there as a hired entertainer. If they try pressure you , remember you're doing it for your own health and wellbeing and tell them to back off.
You don't have to stop dancing or having fun, as you know, just because you're not drinking. Again, if they make an issue of it remind them it's none of their business what you're drinking.


I think tbh given your history with it, you're best to cut it out entirely, at least for a year or so. It'll get you used to dealing with people being overly nosy (which you'd still have to deal with after the 3rd drink) and you'll be used to going out without alcohol altogether. It'll also make it easier to stay off for an evening than thinking "just one more" and back you are to the start.


Stay away from people who aren't the slightest bit interested in you and just want another drinking mate/entertainment/feel better about their own unhealthy binging.
When I stopped drinking my friends were supportive - I didn't have a problem previously, I just decided I wasn't doing it anymore - and we still went out and had good times, and they agreed you should be able to go out and have fun without drinking. They drink, I don't, and the only people who ever obsessed over what I was drinking weren't friends + had drinking issues of their own.
Good luck!

OP read the above post over and over again. You won't get much better advice. Goodluck.

PCPhoto

if you dont own a car ....save up (drinking money) and get one.... then ...when you go out you can drive home - I'm sure those "friends" will be very interested to hear that you are driving home afterwards (you dont have to drop them to their place ..... but at least you dont need to explain why you are not drinking)

ITS YOUR CHOICE - WELL DONE TO YOU FOR CHOOSING TO STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL - BY THE SOUNDS OF IT , IT WAS BEGINNING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE.

Nothingcompares

If tried to do the same thing myself, it's very tough to go socialising with people in pubs and nightclubs while completely sober if you're used to being fairly smashed. I'd ignore the advice to ditch your mates because they want you to drink with them, you just need to persevere and hopefully people will just forget you're not drinking.

Like one of the problems i had was just telling people i didnt want a drink when they were getting a round in. they thought i was too broke (so they offered to buy etc.) or ill or something.

good luck with it.

Crannog

You're not there as a hired entertainer.

+1

newname

Hi Op,

I stopped drinking in 2006 because it was really starting to get the better of me. I had been trying to get off it for a year before I finally stopped altogether.

The reason it took me a year is because I kept hanging around with the same people. They were all big drinkers and offered me absolutely no support in stopping. I totally understand you when you talk about your friend not being supportive. Some of my friends were almost angry with me for stopping and tried to pester me into going back on it.

I have no contact with any of them now. Hopefully some of your friends are not just drinking buddies. In any case if your still sober in a year you'll know at that stage who really are your friends.

I wish you luck... its not an easy path. But if your heading for serious problem drinking then its a horrible existance and the only contentment you will have will be when you have a drink in your hand.

af_thefragile

Did you check out the Non Drinkers Group forum?
It might help you...
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1015

And don't worry its not filled with pretentious pioneers! Its got some nice people who don't drink and plan out activities that don't involve drinking and stuff like that...

Gadfly

Congratulations on stopping drinking!

The first thing I had to do was to give up 'playgrounds (pubs), and playmates (friends)' when I was first newly sober. I lost so called drinking friends as well, but made new a more genuine ones later. The first thing people asked me when I told them I don't drink anymore was: "why not?" People do think its boring not drinking, but I say it's nice to wake up in the morning an not feel sick, sore and sorry and being able to remember how you got home and who you were with. I find it a nice clean feeling generally. This is my experience anyway.

I'd be a liar if I didn't say I miss drink sometimes, but I think of my last drunk, and I don't be long catching myself on.

If you mean business you will re-adjust and your life will be better. I wish you well.

the_syco

drinkup wrote: »

Also, there are a few work nights out coming up and I'm usually the first to the bar ordering shots, dancing and generally being 'great craic'. I feel that I can still be good fun without alcohol but I know my work mates will pressure me and be very dissapointed that I'm not drinking.

Tell them to piss off. Goto the gym, and drink oragne juice. Once they get it into their heads that you're giving up the drink, as you're going healthy, they'll stop moaning, and it'll divide your friends from your drinking buddies.

drinkup wrote: »

I kept waking up with bruises on my body and no idea how I got home. I slept with people I didn't even find remotely attractive.

This is serious. Sleeping with people you don't like is bad, esp as if they are as drunk as you, may or may not use protection, and you get a baby from a drunken night from someone you don't know.

bp

hey,

well done on saying no so far....I drink maybe once, twice a year and had to stop for medical reasons (not related to drink but my liver) at 17....at the start it was hard because it was cool to try get into clubs/ hide behind trees and drink.

I found just saying to people either A: I am driving or B: I have a liver illness and it will kill me (wont happen) but it stops people offering pretty sharpish! I can give you what I have if you like :-) just pretend, no one will ever know!!!!

Just hold in there, say you are saving for xxx, and that you just want to give your liver a break. After a while people will just get used to it. I have great fun while out sober - first on the dance floor, dancing on bars etc....you dont need alcohol to have fun...I never have!!!

Good luck!

estar

you dont live your life to amuse other people you live your life for yourself first and then others.

if people dont want to know the new you, other more interesting people will. there is so much more to life than staring at the bottom of a pint glass. you may lose friends temporarily and stop being the talk of the night out. but you will gain self respect and dignity and these things are worth far more.

no one here can tell you if controlled drinking will work for you. perhaps it will. i myself went through cycles of this, trying to be shall we say normal. all i can say is that limiting it to three drinks didnt work, and i was back drinking wine during the week, and ending up behaving in ways that were uncharacteristic and damaging.

my life has improved immeasurably since giving up drink, i say stick to your original instinct that your behaviour was not advancing you. its definitely an instinct that you know yourself whats good for you, and once i let that instinct over ride what other people said and thought, i never looked back.

dont let time erode the memories of the seriousness of the situations that alcohol led you into. bruises you didnt remember, sleeping with the wrong people for the wrong reasons, doing badly in work. this is more than just a few bad hangovers for you. this is your quality of life.

annalucia

Hey,

Im off drink 2 months myself for similar reasons to you, I found my drinking was getting out of hand, I was getting alot of black outs. It was definately difficult to start with but you get used to it. Its amazing seeing people off their heads, puking into bins, falling down stairs and mauling mingers. To think.. that was me a few weeks ago. I have noticed a big difference in my savings, spending 30 quid on a night out instead of 100. There is so many empty calories in drink too and sugar so its great for your waistline to give up. I have taking up running on the weekends as the weather is getting better and it feels great making use of the whole weekend. This is my perspective from not drinking, I really wish you the best!