Please please help

LegacyUser

I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year and I love him. However every few weeks I get really down. He thinks it's PMS. It never happens when I'm single so I'm thinking it might be the pill (I did change from another pill- the current one is slightly better and I don't want to keep changing pills). I go from a confident happy person to a crying for no reason, needy insecure wreck. I hate myself so much like this and sometimes feel suicidal during those few days (not so badly that I need to talk to anyone by the way).

My boyfriend says he loves me and that it doesn't matter to him as I'm always fine again after a few days. My previous BF said the same thing, only later to dump me (with this emotional thing once a month being a huge factor). So I'm afraid that it will all get too much for my current boyfriend. He suggested going off the pill all together which is a good idea, but I wouldn't have sex with just condoms (due to a scary incident in the past) as I'm terrified of getting pregnant. He said we'd be ok, but I don't think any relationship and survive without sex indefinitely. I have looked at alternatives but have yet to find a suitable one.

I think the pill just really messes up my head.

I think I'm being absolutely unfair and awful to my boyfriend, even though I love him to bits. It kills me to behave like this around him. So much so, I was thinking of letting him go, so he wouldn't have to take the strain of putting up with me like this some of the time. I just wish there was another solution. Can anyone see one?. Thanks in advance for any replies.

LegacyUser

Give the going off the pill a go. The exact same thing happened to me and I'd never go back on it. See if this makes it stop and then you can discuss other contraception methods with your doctor that don't have the same kind of effect.

It's worth even going off it to find out if that is what's wrong or if there's something more serious.

shellyboo

The pill can really mess up your moods alright - it's big ****-off dose of hormones every day, after all.

I had the same problem and eventually had to come off hormonal contraception altogether. What my doctor recommended was the Nuva Ring or the Mirena - they're both very low-dose hormones so they don't affect your moods so much.

The Nuva Ring didn't suit me, so I'm getting the Mirena fitted as soon as I gather up the funds. You should go to your GP and tell them that you feel the Pill is affecting your mood and that you'd like to change to a different type of contraception - the doctor will be able to recommend types that would suit you and your lifestyle.

If you don't want to take any hormonal contraception anymore, you could always double up on barrier protection - use condoms combined with the diaphragm. But like I say - go to a doctor and discuss it with them. They'll have all the relevant information.

beth-lou

Yep, I stopped taking the pill for the same reasons. I hated how it made me feel. Look into other options.

cantdecide

Don't break up with your BF because you've had a scare with condoms. There are tons of other options. I think he'd prefer to have you than have to watch his words for a day or two every so often. It's not an emotional problem, it's a hormonal thing. You're not nuts or anything...

MoonDancer

You should go to the health food store & get some evening primrose oil capsules. It works at balancing out the hormones that cause PMS. You really should look into it. I've been using it for years!!

LegacyUser

Hi. Yes, I had the same problem with the pill, came off it for those reasons...about 15 years ago and never went back on it. Used other methods. All fine.

Queen-Mise

The Pill in whatever form really doesn't suit me. When I got the injection after the first child, they had to send me home from work - I had fcuked a customer out of it on the phone and I attacked a manager. They sent me home for a few days for the hormones to calm down :D:D

The crying might have been safer in the long run :p

hairyprincess

Hi, I used the injection DepoVera, it worked brilliant. An injection every three months and rarely a period! I couldn't recommend it highly enough. And given what you are going through anything is worth a try.
A previous poster suggested the coil, as far as I know you can't get the coil unless you have a had a child.
Hormones do awful things to a persons mind, but you can't let them ruin your relationships

LegacyUser

I know how you feel exact same thing happening to me at the moment :-( I am on the pill as I had really bad periods (sick for 2 weeks out of 4) I was on a different low lose pill and it didnt agree with me had a light period all the time. I am on a different high dose pill Brevinor and it is even worse.

Really do feel like I am losing it sometimes! Your post has made me feel better that I know that other people have felt their moods were badly effected by the pill. I am with my boyfriend over 4 years and feel in the last few weeks that things are going down the pan. I am totally needy/clingy which was so unlike me.

I need to stay on the pill so i'm not really sick during my exams next month but then I am coming off it. Don't know how to get through the next few weeks though. Pill is effecting my sleep really badly and I always slept like a log :-(

My advice to you OP is come off the pill! I understand that you are nervous about contraception, you should see your GP to discuss alternatives.

mardybum

It's mad isn't it? Look at all these women saying, me too, I feel exactly the same way.

Well, yeah, me too I felt the same. I changed pill though. I used (excuse spelling) lagynane - terrible, I was emotional, killed my sex drive, put on loads of weight, and ovranette I used to no ill affects the first time, then extensive period of being single and went back on it and my boobs went ginormous! Not in a good way! And I went crazy, got depressed, cryed about everything, thought people werent taking me seriously, balled my flatemate out of it when he said something to me flippantly.

Those things usuallly stop after a couple of months, but if they don't -Come of the pill if it makes you feel that way!

Condoms are ok to use, just get them in the right size and use them properly.

fonpokno

How many pills have you tried? I'm on my third and it's the first one to actually not do bad things!

The first, I had permanent spotting which was a right pain and went a bit crazy. The second one I was on for about 6 months and I don't know how my boyfriend coped with me. I was batsh*t insane. Crying all the time for no apparent reason all month round, mood swings, month long cramps. Ridiculous. Now I'm on my third one and it's absolutely fine. No side effects at all from it and I'm actually sane.

Go to your doctor and have a chat with them. You can either try another pill (there are loads out there and they affect every woman differently) or discuss other methods like the ones mentioned above. There are plenty of options, you don't need to resort to not having sex.

shellyboo

hairyprincess wrote: »

Hi, I used the injection DepoVera, it worked brilliant. An injection every three months and rarely a period! I couldn't recommend it highly enough. And given what you are going through anything is worth a try.
A previous poster suggested the coil, as far as I know you can't get the coil unless you have a had a child.
Hormones do awful things to a persons mind, but you can't let them ruin your relationships

That's not true. The Mirena IUS is not the same as the coil, and you can get it fitted even if you haven't had kids... I haven't, and my doctor is happy to do it for me; and I know a few childless friends who also use it.

Bizarrely, Depo was what made me go insane. Just goes to show that it's different for everyone - Depo is one of the highest-dose horomonal contraception there is (so my doctor told me when I explained my mood swings to her) so if you're sensitive to hormonal contraception, it's not the best to be on.

But... like I say, don't be listening to us... get to a doctor to get all the proper information.

Nevyn

There are a range of contraceptive choice out there you need to get as much good information as possbile and talk to you dr.

The oral contraceptive pill is not suited to everywoman and different pills have different
levels and combinations of horomane and it can take a while to find what works with your
body so that you are not suffering exterme side effects.

There are other types of hormoanal contraception.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implanon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NuvaRing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_patch

There is also the I.U.S.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IntraUterine_System
This is hormoanal contraception but is about 1/5 the ammount in the pill.
It is an implant in your womb, it is notthe coil and it can be fitted to women who
have not had children.

There are types of non hormoanal contraception.

The I.U.D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrauterine_device
This is the coil, has no hormoans and can also be fitted if you have not had children.

Barrier methods

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragm_(contraceptive)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cervical_cap
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_condom
(there had been a new female condom launched )

Spermicidal methods.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_sponge

For years women used a combination of barrier methods and spermicidal methods
so educate yourself as much as possible about all your option and talk to your dr.

http://www.ifpa.ie/eng/Sexual-Health-Services/Fact-sheets
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraception_which.htm
http://www.vhi.ie/hfiles/hf-060.jsp

prinz

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are a range of contraceptive choice out there you need to get as much good information as possbile and talk to you dr.

The oral contraceptive pill is not suited to everywoman and different pills have different
levels and combinations of horomane and it can take a while to find what works with your
body so that you are not suffering exterme side effects.

There are other types of hormoanal contraception.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implanon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NuvaRing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_patch

There is also the I.U.S.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IntraUterine_System
This is hormoanal contraception but is about 1/5 the ammount in the pill.
It is an implant in your womb, it is notthe coil and it can be fitted to women who
have not had children.

There are types of non hormoanal contraception.

The I.U.D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrauterine_device
This is the coil, has no hormoans and can also be fitted if you have not had children.

Barrier methods

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragm_(contraceptive)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cervical_cap
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_condom
(there had been a new female condom launched )

Spermicidal methods.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spermicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_sponge

For years women used a combination of barrier methods and spermicidal methods
so educate yourself as much as possible about all your option and talk to your dr.

http://www.ifpa.ie/eng/Sexual-Health-Services/Fact-sheets
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/contraception_which.htm
http://www.vhi.ie/hfiles/hf-060.jsp

And abstinence :pac: forgot that one.

To the OP yes relationships can work without sex. Surely he wouldn't begrudge you giving up getting the leg over even for a couple of months so you can stop the pill and see if there's any noticeable difference.

If he puts getting a shag ahead of your health and well being, physical and mental well then he aint up to much is he. He could get a shag off anyone, but there's only one of you!

shellyboo

prinz wrote: »

And abstinence :pac: forgot that one.

To the OP yes relationships can work without sex. Surely he wouldn't begrudge you giving up getting the leg over even for a couple of months so you can stop the pill and see if there's any noticeable difference.

Eh... she might begrudge it though...

prinz

shellyboo wrote: »

Eh... she might begrudge it though...

:eek: True enough. Still my point remains. What's more important. Sex or being a bit mentally unstable?

Nevyn

I didn't forget it, the op asked about methods of contraception so she can keep being sexually active.

prinz

Thaedydal wrote: »

I didn't forget it, the op asked about methods of contraception so she can keep being sexually active.

Apologies Just read it differently. Seemed to me she was questioning whether it was the pill causing her problems.

jellie

have you tried other pills? some just dont suit some people.

best plan would probably be to discuss it with your doctor. tell her/him whats happening & ask what they would suggest.

shellyboo

prinz wrote: »

:eek: True enough. Still my point remains. What's more important. Sex or being a bit mentally unstable?

Sex, tbh

But anyway, OT.

Nitxteha

Try to change the pill or stop it or try other contraceptive method whatever it suits YOU best. But if your previous boyfriend broke up with you, dont you believe that it was because you had your hormonal days.

From what you said, your current boyfriend is a nice guy, he is not going to dump you because of that. Do not put so much pressure on yourself.

Women are women and we have hormones. We all have those days when we are more sensitive, with or without the pill. And we have the right to have those days: nature is wise and there must be a reason for that..All we need is a bit of understanding and a lot of love and cuddles :rolleyes:

Last year my boyfriend told me he had started keeping a record of my "hormonal days", because he couldnt understant why I would cry like a cocodrile and couldnt stop. He found a pattern, so he kindof predicts them. I thought that was very cute and thoughful of him

Polleta

I am on my fifth type of pill at the moment due to various problems. I've been ok on this one. Everyone's body reacts differently to different hormonal methods of contraception so it is worth talking to your doctor about alternatives.

Personally my sex drive is always lower on the pill(though still quite high) but the emotional problems I've only had with one pill. It drove me mad. Couldn't understand it but my most recent pill has be far the least side effects for me. It contains a lower dose of estrogen than some of the others which works for me.

Best of luck with the search.