Frustrated!

LegacyUser

Hi all.
I know there are lots of others threads about simular situations, which I have read, but I would be grateful for some advice on my situation.

I have been with my bf for about 10 mths now. There is an age gap of 6 years between us. I'm in my mid 20s and he is in his early 30s, thats not a problem. Over the last 4 months or so our sex life has just about nearly died. We are now averaging about once every two weeks. Its really starting to bother me. I know thats more than some but the relationship is still new so I just don't think its right.

It was very good the first couple of months and naturally there would be a certain amount of 'dropping off', but its not just the frequency that has dropped, he also just doesn't seem to care anymore if I enjoy it. Its like now he feels more comfortable with me so he can just drop any pretense at foreplay! Besides the frustration for me, I am getting very resentful about this, I have quite a high drive, but I feel that he is literally calls all the shots in terms of sex.

He does have a stressful job, and its gotten worse with the recession. Also he has had some bad colds recently, I try to be understanding of the stress in his job etc, but he just won't engage with me when I try to bring it up, even accusing me of giving him performance anxiety. I don't know if the age gap might have something to do with it?

I just don't know what to do, I want to talk about it with him, but I really felt like just walking away for the relationship today. I am really miserable, any advice would be great.

Sorry for the long post, thanks in advance.

Joey the lips

I am amazed nobody has replied to you yet. They must be all on on a sunday night

I dont think your problem is abou age difference I do agree with you it make be a settleing in thing. I would say your perfectly entitled to ask for more foreplay in your relationship as it's been proven on countless studies that women dont often climax without it.(They need to get a start as such) I also understand that your o/h is stressed at work. I had this problem for a while and it did effect everything. My o/h got around this by offering a massage but it usually did not lead to sex. However I enjoyed the massage so much it i wanted it to but she made a rule just to massage. That way I knew every night I would get a lovely massage without being expected to perform

I imagine you have already brought this up with him so the question then might arrise about how do you get more without seeming desperate.

Have you considered trying positions where he does not have to do all the work. "Women on top" " Reverse cowgirl etc. Have you considered telling him that a lot of forplay helps you get going but lead his hand don't leave it to him to lead. Have you considered buying toys and getting him to use them with you. If all else fails have you played hard to get where you dress scantly but dont give him anything?

Yo get the jist. best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for you're advice Joey, I had actually tried something like the massage thing you suggested... it failed. Also I already go on top quite a bit, but I think you might be on to something with the playing hard to get. I just don't really like the idea of getting into a withholding sex as a punishment scenario...

I just read another post about a woman in a similar situation, expect she is married with a baby. The prospect of just letting this lie and waking up so unhappy I'll feel like cheating a few years down the line had made me think that its prob best to try and get him to talk about it. If that doesn't work I think I am just going to leave.

Thanks again for the advice.