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Call it a day?

  • 03-04-2009 10:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Just looking for some unbiased opinions - my mates will all just tell me my doubts are right given my sometimes stormy relationship. I've been with my boy nearly two years. He's been away with the lads on a big holiday the last few weeks and I'm starting to think I need to call it a day. I do love him, but we're in different places. He's talking about maybe going travelling again, something I just can't do because of very real commitments I have here. He knows I can't go, so when he says that he's definitely talking about maybe ending things. (A long distance thing is not an option, he wouldn't and to be honest, couldn't do it.)

    6 months in I can understand him still thinking like this, but how long do I want around for him to decide if he's planning on sticking around?

    One day he's talking about us getting married some day, the next I find out he's been making drunken phonecalls to old FB's in the middle of the night. (The FB was pre-us, obviously.) I know I'll probably get a load of people saying "is he not entitled to ring an old friend after a few drinks??" and I have no problem with him being in touch with an ex, but when I talk to mine its usually a little email at lunch time, not drunk calls that I pretend I don't make. And to be honest that just doesn't scream to me "I'm committed to you." He of course, says it was nothing, and I do believe that it was mostly innocent but I don't think its very disrespectful to me. I know he wouldn't like it if I was doing the same thing.

    We've had issues along a similar line to this before, with him doing what inappropriate things with girls in past and some of them were a real struggle for me to move on from even when he admitted he was completely in the wrong, but when we get on we get on really great and he makes me happy, so I decided I could move on from them. Here's my question, after two years, should I still be looking for the fluffy clouds or is it time to admit things may not change and there's only one way for this to end?

    There are a lot more complications to this but I've rattled on enough and thats the bare bones of it - any thoughts???


Comments

  • #2
    bluecell99
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭bluecell99


    I think you should listen to your own instincts.

    As an ousider based on what you've said I think your friend neither has the capacity or maturity to sustain a relationship.

    You are clearly unhappy and must look after your own needs and hopes for the future.

    Its not your fault and you will be happier in the future having made the decision.

    Move on and onwards and upwards.


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