Decisions

LegacyUser

So...maybe you could say what you think about my situation.

Sort of going out with a guy at the moment for about 2 months.
It started off with a date every week and now we see each other more often.
Haven't slept together yet. I like him and we get on great. But I'm not sure I really really
like him.

On the otherhand there's my ex. He broke up with me after 9 months together for someone else.
That broke my heart at the time and it took a while to get over. We remained friends after
a couple of months went by. Now he has broken up with this new girl we seem to be meeting up more
often and getting quite close. But we haven't kissed or anything, but nearly.

So the thing is that I still really really like him but I'm not sure even if we're right for each other,
and even if we got back together it would still not work out. And even though I haven't cheated I feel bad
meeting him every time. It has also shown me that I'm not that mad into the guy I'm seeing at the moment.

I'm not sure what to do. The 2 options would be firstly to break up with the guy I'm seeing and maybe get back
together with my ex, or secondly stop making contact with my ex and carry on with the new guy.

I don't know

username123

Or option 3 - dont bother wasting time on the past with the ex, let the new guy down gently if youre not really digging him, and either enjoy being single or find a new fella that you are into.

dblennon

Agree Opt 3 needs to be considered, your not over your ex so you won't know how you feel about new guy.

stay single for a while!!!

LegacyUser

+1 for option 3. Your boyfriend broke up with you for someone else....move on. As it was him doing the breaking up and not you you are still bound to have feelings. Maybe it would be best to keep him out of your life for a bit. In regards to the other guy your seeing its prob best you let him go too since there is no way you are gonna let yourself go whilst your still hung up on the ex.

I have met women 3 times who were just out of long term relationships and every one of them eneded within 2 months as they hadnt given themselves enough time to be single after their breakups and their heads were so messed up and confused they never gave me a fighting chance. I never knew if I was coming or going with them. I sort of becames friends again with one of them a couple of years later and as she was over her ex she fell for me big time and was then crazy about me.....why wasnt she crazy about me when I was with her. I didnt give her a second chance, I dont build bridges with people when it comes to relationships, thats just me. Nice girl but been there. Get both guys out of your life OP and be single for a few months at least.

Nervous Wreck

Yer obv not into the new guy so let him down and let him get on with his life.

If you want to go back to your ex, go for it. Of course, it's a ridiculously dumb thing to do, considering he dumped you to be with someone else. But hey, if you feel like being a boomerang........

Best advice is above. Stay single for a while.

LegacyUser

So I took the advice and went with Option 3 and it's roughly 2 months since the breakup.

The breakup was very amicable and we're good friends still, but I don't have any feelings for him anymore, unlike my ex of a year nearly now.

So the ex of year and myself have stayed friends and met each other very regularly, but I couldn't really cope with it. So I decided to break off all contact, facebook, gmail, deleting phone numbers etc...but that only lasted 2 weeks. He text me saying that he just wanted to know that I was ok and that he missed me. We've met up again and have been talking online. The problem is we share some friends so I can't really take him completely out of my life but every time we meet up I feel like I'm watching him and feeling jealous when he talks to other girls. It really hurts and makes me sad.

What should I do? Break off complete contact again...or is it a case of getting a grip and growing up. I'm 27 btw. I probably should know better.

zeslim

Since breaking off complete contact doesn't seem to be an option, maybe try cutting back on how much contact you actually have. Keep his number, but stop the online chatting and get rid of him on Facebook if you just end up constantly checking his profile. Don't meet up with him for a while. A good, long while.

In theory, we all know better. The trouble is that knowing better doesn't necessarily hold any sway with how you're actually feeling. You need a big break from him so that you can move on properly, and if he doesn't get the hint, be less subtle. Worst comes to worst, you can tell him that you need space for a while and aren't quite up to being friends at the moment. You'll be all the better for it once you've moved on.