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Shy, Nervous Girlfriend...

  • 31-03-2009 11:07pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Thanks very much for anyone who posts and gives advice..i appreciate it...

    So im a 19yr old guy in college and iv been going out with a girl about 2months now. I know thats not long but we had been friends before and are in college together so we would be closer then normal after only 2months. Basically shes quite a shy girl and would be pretty introverted. This gets particularly bad around me as she gets nervous. Now i would be a lot more chatty and confident(though not hugely so!) and i imagine a fair bit more experienced. She told she recently that shes never liked a guy as much as me...and while i do really like her i woudn't be being honest if i said the same to her (at least not yet..) since iv been in a few fairly long term relationships. Having been in and out of love properly before i find i probably have a higher definition of "closeness"??? than what she does...if that makes any sense at all...

    We never really clicked at the start and often conversation doesnt come easy. I find myself really driving any conversation we have although at other times wed be laughing away together. Yet i dont think she feels this as a problem at all and i think its just in her nature to not talk much and shes grand with that.

    I guess what im basically wondering is would i be foolish to stay with her in the hopes she comes out of her shell a bit more?? i mean i do really like her..shes really sweet and she has opened up so much to me since we started going out and shes also a really good looking girl (one of the first that iv ever just wanted to show off to the world!) shes said to me a few times that she takes time to warm up to people..could it just be a case of her needing time to feel comfortable and be herself around me? certainly as time goes on she seems more and more at ease around me..


Comments

  • #2
    Thornography
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 640 ✭✭✭Thornography


    Unregistered wrote: »
    certainly as time goes on she seems more and more at ease around me..

    Being honest, Theres your answer.

    Maybe its you she needs to be around to open her shell so to speak. If you dont mind the awkward silences and just chiln in each others company then theres nothing wrong with it is there?

    Id definatly say stick with it dude. Allow it to run its course.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Im a guy who was always pretty shy. I wasnt realy a talker at 19/20. All someone had to do was look at me and I would light the room up red! People grow up and mature. Im 25 now and im nothing like the person I was 5 years ago anymore. Now I am practically the lynchpin of my job when it comes to getting people together to go for a drink and im perfectly fine and confident in social situations or even public speaking. There is one area though that I still revert back to being shy and quiet and its around women I fancy. I cant help it. I could be out having a few drinks and would talk away to anyone but if the girl I fancied walked up to me id go quiet!! Its so annoying.

    I need time to come out of my shell in relationships because im always fareful of revealing too much or getting too close incase I get hurt. Unfortunatly not alot of people are willing to give you that time, maybe had they stuck it out another month or two I would be at ease with them and we would have a great time!! If you fancy her OP and feel she is worth it give her a chance if not break it off now because its definetly gonna hurt her more than you when it happens.


  • #4
    kevmy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭kevmy


    Whats she like around her close friends and family?

    If she's more chatty and outgoing with them then there is a good chance that she will be more like that with you in the future. However if she is very quite around them also then maybe that's just the way she is.

    Are the silences awkward or kinda natural? People who are quite and don't like talking a lot can sit comfortably with someone they like and not say anything for what might seem ages.
    But if she is shy or nervous the silences will be more awkward - she wants to say more but doesn't have the confidence or trust in you yet to open up.

    If she is shy and nervous I think she will open up, just give her time, keep talking, build her trust and she'll come around


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