College blues.......

LegacyUser

Regular boards poster going unreg. for this one........

Okay,so I started college last September,I was feeling nervous but excited at the same time,meeting new people,new expericences etc. I tried to play it cool and not come off desparate to my fellow classmates,but I played it too cool and missed the boat on the whole 'new college group' type scenario.

Now some of ye might say 'oh better off' etc,but the thing is in secondary school I was a popular enough guy and Ive basically no friends in college! This made me anxious about going into lectures+events,etc so my attendance has been really bad,I know that isn't an excuse but its a factor none the less.

Since around October I've been feeling really isolated,blue and gaining weight,with really poor sleep (like not being able to get to sleep at night,really difficult to get up in the morning,nightmares)

Im also very anixious lately about failing the year............

It all been a vicious circle really!
Is this depression? If so,what will I do because Im at wits end on how to sort this out!

Thanks for reading,(essay)

Kevster

Hi,

My opinion is that - yes - it is depression, but it is only short term at the moment. However, if you don't act, then it can become long-term (and therefore harder to shift). What you must do is talk to your course head and tell him/her exactly what you have said here in this message. They will understand, and it won't be the first time that a student has gone to them about such a problem.

Trust me.

Kevin

LegacyUser

Change can be difficult,and before you were in a comfort zone with all your old friends in school,

I found it hard to feel secure in the first year of college, but the second year we were all split into specialized areas forming a new long term class, all my friends changed at this point... you might find it easier as time goes on...


Colleges can provide support, we had a councillor a reiki practitioner, and a masseuse only costing a 5€ a go, I used them all all in college it was great.


The way to change this situation is to start feeling better about yourself, you need something to give you confidence in yourself and see a more positive you.

Maybe reading some of the positive thinking books can be a start,

'The Secret'
'Feel the fear and do it anyway'
'The power of now'

Even meditation can be calming and a confidence builder and can be done straight away at home.


Sorry to hear that the isolation is upsetting, best of luck xx

InReality

Talk to local GP.

andrew

Find a club or soc and join it. You don't even necessaraly have to be that into whatever they do. Go to their meetings/events, it's a very good way to get to know people, as most socs really appreciate new members. I appreciate that it's a bit late for that now since the year is nearly over, but decide next year to throw yourself into a club/soc, I doubt you'll regret it.

LegacyUser

I was the exact same last year, this year i joined socieities and everything has changed for the better! its not too late to start now!!

LegacyUser

from the sound of things you know how to talk to other peoples when in secondary school..
So what's so hard about it??



Go in to lecture (You have a few different ones in a week), sit beside someone, anyone!,
Since DCU's class isn't all that big..
Say "hey xxx" (I'm sure you know/heard at least one name from listening in or someone calling another person), "how's your weekend?"
And you're set..

Once you know one, slowly then you'll know more..
You'll probably see him/her walking around campus with someone else from the same class.. casually walk by and say hey, stop them for a quick chat and introduce yourself to this other person that you don't know and you're set again.. the chain just keep on building..

before you know it.. you know everyone.. back to old self..




Ps I'm assuming that you are a normal person, who is not super shy type, don't have a voice like a little mouse, not dressing weird and don't have hair dyed neon green..

cos otherwise the task at hand is a little harder then.. good luck!

Denerick

but I played it too cool and missed the boat on the whole 'new college group' type scenario.

This is like a mirror of the problem I've had. I stuck with mates from secondary school when I went to college in Dublin (Moved in with them for two years as well) and practically 'blew out' my coursemates. My attendance for the first two years was shocking, but this was mainly my own laziness. This year (Year 3 of 4) I've been going into every lecture and tutorial and I have no college mates really. Its quite hard to know where to sit, who to talk to before lectures - quite humiliating really to be standing on your tod!

Over the year I've gotten to know a few people but not well, I've never went out with them for example. I'm also terrible with names and even faces so I come off like a dickhead sometimes when I forget someone's name... "Well... *Thinking of the person's name profusely* ... Eh... Hows things?"

All I can say is that don't let it get you down. If your still in touch with mates from secondary school then its not too bad. Personally I don't see whats to be gained from discussing this with the year head (What can he/she possibly do about you making new friends?) But if its affecting your grades then maybe its not a bad idea.

LegacyUser

Hey guys its OP,thanks for all the replies!

Im still trying to get my head around why I feel so 'meh' about people in my course,im always intially shy around new people but this hasnt left,and as I said anixousty develops from this!

I've decided to hopefully go to a counselor in the college and have a chat,explain my situation,and see where that takes me!

As for join clubs and soc's I honestly think its not worth my time,just this college year (1 month left) but definitely joining one or two next year.And talking to my course-head,I'm actually very anxious about that,it would help,but I feel like I cant bring myself to it.

On the upside I think once this college year is finished I think I will be finally happy again,I mean this year has just been a disaster possibly the worse of my life(socially, physically,academically),next September I'm going moving in with my hometown friends (i.e people who I'm comfortable with)