Young once, fcuk up??

allandanyways

I'm not old. I'm 19, nearly 20. But my 16 year old sister has been annoying me with this recent "Effy-from-skins" attitude and I was wondering what it means to teenagers like yerselves to have this "young once, let's fcuk up" attitude? Even her bebo skin says it...:rolleyes:

Why would you want to fcuk up when you're young, like seriously young as in still in school and only doing your leaving cert? There's fcuk up as in fail school, in which case you won't get into college etc, there's fcuk up as in get caught doing something illegal and getting it on your record which will jeprodise employment, there's fcuk up which is getting your stomach pumped from gettin wasted so many times that you end up with a serious stomach condition (as happened to one of my friends but during college), fcuking up by severing realtionships with family members because you're such a sh!t etc etc

I'm just mystified so if someone could shed some light on why she just wants to get wasted cos she's young and can fcuk up? Why is that cool? It's probably the most uncool and most immature thing you could possibly do when you have so much life to live?

cocoa

snap on the 19, almost 20 thing

I'd have to join in being perplexed by that idea, and I can't say I've encountered it yet myself. I'll admit to doing my fair share of stupid things (had what was roughly equivalent to 10 drinks in one glass on friday night) but to have ****ing up as a goal in and of itself? Seems awfully strange...

-Els-

I've heard of a few people like you sister, doing things that are just really stupid for the sake of rebelling. I dont mean having a few cans in a field stupid (very few teenagers dont do that!) but like drugs, stealing stuff, seriosuly f***ing up in school...

I dont really know what you could do, just talking to her about it might work, let her know she's not impressing anyone worth impressing and it may seem the height of cool now but will gte old pretty fast.
In my opinion it's allright to rebel and go a bit crazy, have a bit of fun but not so much that it ruins your life! At the end of the day, she might end up learning the hard way if she goes to far with something or might just realise herself that she's being stupid and grow out of it....

allandanyways

Meh, she's just so irresponsible, she has her german oral on wednesday i think and instead of studying/practicing etc this weekend, she went out on the piss on friday nite, went "out" yesterday and babysat last nite but spent all nite on bebo and msn apparently (i was home and doing the same) and then her muppet of a boyfriend came over today and she spent all day doing god knows what with him in the cellar.

I know she does hash when she's on a session aswell despite dousing herself in a can of deodrant and I just don't understand it... Why would you want to do that every single weekend? We've had nothing particularly bad happen to us that it's one of these "emotional" things, I know her like I know myself and she is literally just going along with this lady-gaga-effy-from-skins-random-life fashion...

I've gone past the stage of wanting to do something for her (otherwise this would be in PI ), I just want to understand what's so cool about being a waster? I'm in college and have had some fcuking mental nights out, but I know when to call it quits and chill out a bit... My dad hasnt spoken to her in months and I find it hard to be in the same room as her atm, but she doesn't care, as long as she's fcuked, everythings cool yeah?

cocoa

allandanyways wrote: »

but she doesn't care, as long as she's fcuked, everythings cool yeah?

hmm, that last bit kind of spoke to me. Fairly frequent conversation with a few of my friends would be 'aww man, we're such wasters...' 'yep, it's disgraceful' because we're pretty good at the old apathy and procrastination combo... Sounds to me like there's just a lack of motivation for anything more. Like maybe being wasted / high / whatever feels like the top so why try anymore? And I can kind of relate to that, because sometimes it does feel like the world in my head beats the real one hands down, and maybe the only logical approach is to retreat into a paradise of the mind and stop really interacting with the physical world. I can totally get that point of view, but it's not something I'd go for myself, because even when the real world is at its worst, I can still know and remember how amazing it can be at its best.

If that's any kind of approximation to her point of view, then I'd say any talk of responsibilities / the future / the damage she's doing / the opportunities being missed / etc. is going in one ear and out the other. Why listen to that? Just go back to oblivion, it's so much easier. That describes all of what's hard about real life, but there's so much more that goes unmentioned that's totally awesome and better than any imagined paradise.

JC 2K3

Firstly, she's doing her LC at 16??

And you haven't explained exactly how she's a waster, besides her drinking (which by 16, most have started) and a bad attitude to studying, which could be immaturity more than anything (at least doing the LC so young, she'll have plenty of time to repeat if she does fúck it up).

Crumble Froo

*sigh* right, first off, on the effy reference... my impression (big skins fan) is not so much that it's effy's goal to be fuck up, as that she is fucked up and just doesn't care about consequences.

personally i can relate strongly to that. in days (mostly) gone past, i was completely fucked up. didnt know if i was coming or going and didnt care. drink, drugs, casual sex, cutting, eating disorder (remember cassie in the first two series?), and sleeping rough. have tattoo from that time in my life saying 'senseless is pleasure, nothing's forever'. says a lot about my mindframe, tbh.

i was completely fucked up, and still in the process of working through my issues and that, but mostly, that's a past version of me. basically, my head was in a bad place, i wasn't fucking up to be cool, or any reason like that... i was just fucking up cos my head was so fucked.

as for the age element of it... your body can much handle the abuse at this age, and it's a time when everything is changing, from teh world around you to your own perspectives, dreams, fears, priorities, friendships and relationships, coming to the end of school... there's a lot of change, and that's just the standard, without taking into account all the bullshit that happens in the background.

im glad i went through all the crap i did when i was younger than if it was now, or in 5, 10 years time. you're more resilient, less settled, and, i think, have more options and a better chance of turning things aroudn when you're young than if it's been a lifestyle in your middle/later years, which is something ive been observing with the people ive been working with lately.

Jesus Juice

Seriously,teenage girls are actually mental when it comes to this care free,i don't give a fuck,get wasted and have sex attitude!.A lot of girls I know have been like this lately and I nearly stopped going out with the girl I'm with cause she decided to get really drunk making me take care of her for the whole night...she hasn't drank since then!!..But as they say Girls just wanna have fuuunnn!:pac:

Rozabeez

JC 2K3 wrote: »

Firstly, she's doing her LC at 16??

And you haven't explained exactly how she's a waster, besides her drinking (which by 16, most have started) and a bad attitude to studying, which could be immaturity more than anything (at least doing the LC so young, she'll have plenty of time to repeat if she does fúck it up).

I was 16 for most of 6th year.

Are you sure its not just an act and she cares underneath it all?

Dusty87

I cant say whats up wit your sis because its her head and not mine but i can relate. I did roughly the same things wit a couple of mates. Started at 14, drinkin, smokin weed etc. I didn care because i knew ma and da were there to bail me if anythin happened. Left school after jc. Lost the relationship wit my da and mam and me aint as close no more. I copped on when my mates started stealing and one stole his ma's car, crashing into parked cars whilst chased by gaurds. I think i had no fear because i knew that my parents would be there. Iv had to raise myself wit no father guidance, got myself counselling for anger and i hope ive turned out ok. I dont think any of us can give you a better insight into your sister because everyone is different. I think she may have to realise what she is doing herself. I look back on the pain and hurt i caused to people and nothing i can do wil make that better. Im still wild but iv a wonderful girlfriend of over a year who keeps me in line and has kept me out of trouble a lot.

Teutorix

allandanyways wrote: »

I'm not old. I'm 19, nearly 20. But my 16 year old sister has been annoying me with this recent "Effy-from-skins" attitude and I was wondering what it means to teenagers like yerselves to have this "young once, let's fcuk up" attitude? Even her bebo skin says it...:rolleyes:

Why would you want to fcuk up when you're young, like seriously young as in still in school and only doing your leaving cert? There's fcuk up as in fail school, in which case you won't get into college etc, there's fcuk up as in get caught doing something illegal and getting it on your record which will jeprodise employment, there's fcuk up which is getting your stomach pumped from gettin wasted so many times that you end up with a serious stomach condition (as happened to one of my friends but during college), fcuking up by severing realtionships with family members because you're such a sh!t etc etc

I'm just mystified so if someone could shed some light on why she just wants to get wasted cos she's young and can fcuk up? Why is that cool? It's probably the most uncool and most immature thing you could possibly do when you have so much life to live?

Eh, what? im 16 and i dont get any of what you said.

Why would you want to fúck your youth up?

That being said i am a basement dweller type of person so i dont quite understand or even associate with most teens.

Ash_M

I get the effy-from-skins thing, to an extent.
I sort of started down the road, but my parents just put me under house arrest and stamped it out. They overreacted, but it did the job. While there's still a fair bit of drinking, and I am a smoker, it sort of calmed me down.
The mentality is that at 15, 16, all you want to do it go out, have as much fun as you possibly can and essentially be noticed. And somewhere in the back of your mind is that you have only a couple years and then you've gotta settle down, so "let's get f*cked while we can" seems like a good idea. It doesn't make sense, but that's how it works. You've all the time in the world to be "good", and sensible, and all the rest of it, so why not go mental while you've got the chance?

Not saying it's a good idea, it nearly killed me by the end, but it literally took being put under house arrest to stop me from it. My dad slept outside my window on occasion. Thankfully, I've got over it with some help from the boyfriend, but a lot of my friends are still just getting smashed because it's.. fun.

allandanyways

Ash_M wrote: »

I get the effy-from-skins thing, to an extent.
I sort of started down the road, but my parents just put me under house arrest and stamped it out. They overreacted, but it did the job. While there's still a fair bit of drinking, and I am a smoker, it sort of calmed me down.
The mentality is that at 15, 16, all you want to do it go out, have as much fun as you possibly can and essentially be noticed. And somewhere in the back of your mind is that you have only a couple years and then you've gotta settle down, so "let's get f*cked while we can" seems like a good idea. It doesn't make sense, but that's how it works. You've all the time in the world to be "good", and sensible, and all the rest of it, so why not go mental while you've got the chance?

Not saying it's a good idea, it nearly killed me by the end, but it literally took being put under house arrest to stop me from it. My dad slept outside my window on occasion. Thankfully, I've got over it with some help from the boyfriend, but a lot of my friends are still just getting smashed because it's.. fun.

You are very lucky to have such caring parents that they went to all that effort for you. You will thank them so much in later life. My parents are currently too absorbed in their own problems to be able to take on those of my sister, hence me having to worry for her.

Ash_M

allandanyways wrote: »

You are very lucky to have such caring parents that they went to all that effort for you. You will thank them so much in later life.

Agreed. I hated and resented them for so long, but after seeing what happened to people I care about, I understand and appreciate them a lot more. What I needed to realise is, I can drink, have sex, smoke, whatever, as long as I don't hurt anyone including myself. No teenager will ever stop everything completely, but moderation we can do.. With a little encouragement.

Teutorix

allandanyways wrote: »

You are very lucky to have such caring parents that they went to all that effort for you. You will thank them so much in later life. My parents are currently too absorbed in their own problems to be able to take on those of my sister, hence me having to worry for her.

I'm lucky in that respect, all my sister does is play runescape, so i dont have to worry