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Girlfriend Pregnant

  • 29-03-2009 6:22pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So we are both 21 and been going out for over 3 years and been friends since we were about 15. I love her to bits and have always seen a future with her. Im in college got a year left of a degree course and she is also in college. So we have been using the pill since we have been going out and we were always safe, blablabla doesn't really matter now though. So she is pregnant my first reaction was oh no! I don't want a baby, lets get an abortion. But a few hours later I calmed down and we decided we want the baby and wouldn't have it any other way.

    So im excited now but absolutely bricking it, im determined to be the best dad I can be! We are both terrified of what lies ahead. My girlfriend is fantastic, an absolute gem. Lived with her grandparents her whole life as her mother wasnt fit to look after her. She looked after her grandfather who had alzheimers till the day he died this past year and her mother who also died this year. So she/we have been through alot. I have no doubt she will be a fantastic mother but I just feel is she fed up of caring for everyone and not looking out for number 1.

    I have it all planned out, the baby is due in november. Im gunna finish college while she takes a year out and minds the baby. Im then gunna get a job after my degree while she goes back to college. My parents are great and I have no doubt they will help out to no end including financially. And her uncles are like brothers to her and will be a huge help aswell.

    It gunna be tough but I gotta grow up, I gotta think of my baby and girlfriend now and our future.
    Im basically just on here looking for advice from other young parents.

    Im gunna be a dad, I cant wait :)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,352 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    Congratulations to you both.

    Seeing as you're looking for advice on parenting rather than dealing with a crisis pregnancy I think this might be better in the Pregnant sub-forum in Parenting. However I don't think you can post unregistered over there, so please let me know if this is an issue before I move it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks, Sorry didnt know there was a forum. Sure move it over no problem.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,446 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Maith an fear... Congrats :D best of luck to the 2 3 of ya :p


  • Registered Users, Subscribers, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47,352 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    Moved from PI


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,102 ✭✭✭am i bovvered


    Congrats:), its great to hear a person on here (PI) with such a positive attitude,
    Im basically just on here looking for advice from other young parents.

    My wife and I are not that young, 33&36, but our children are now 13&10, and there birthdays are nearly here !
    My advice...
    Remember how great your girlfriend is, you are a team, support each other, it is important to still make time for each other.
    This doesn't mean you have to "grow up" now, first time parents are exactly that, no matter what the age.
    Accept help from your parents, friends & relatives.
    We are really enjoying raising our children but also looking forward to the time when we are "free" to be selfish again and enjoy just ourselves when we are still young :D

    Genuinely wish you the best of luck


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 95 ✭✭Banrion


    Wow. Youre so in love, and you sound fine and mature to me. Shes very lucky. That sounds like a great plan, staying at home for a year to mind the baby, that ll take a lot of pressure off her.
    What you said there is very important about her always looking after people. So keep lines of communication very open about that would be my advice.
    Congratulations, and I hope when you meet your little baby in November that you ll both be very happy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 506 ✭✭✭gowayouttadat


    Hey OP. Congratulations!!

    I'm 25 and pregnant with our first baby. Myself and my bf are together for nearly 8 years now but it still came as a massive shock! We both had the exact same thoughts of yourself at the start and had decided on an abortion but changed our minds after some thought.

    We're due in Aug and both of us are bricking it too! I have to say though it's really brought us closer. I didn't think we could get any closer. We've always been a really, really close couple but this has brought us so much closer. We've no idea what to expect and no idea what's ahead but we're both looking forward to it.

    You'll be fine. I'm sure both yourself and your gf will be great parents! And having a supportive family is half the battle. I don't think I could do it without mine. Knowing they'll be there to babysit etc so that we can still have a life when the baby comes along.


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,986 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    Congrats:)

    I was 26 when I had my little girl and she is the most wonderful person in the world.You sound excited and like you have your head screwed on.
    I found pregnancy hard,your girlfriend might do too, the best advise I can give is to be with her all the way love her and let her know you do no matter what:)
    If you need any advice feel free to pm me,I might know the answer or might know where to find it:)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 729 ✭✭✭beth-lou


    Congratulations. Great to hear your excitment and your understanding of your wonderful girlfriend. I think you will be a great Dad and wish you all the best. It's great, enjoy it all and don't doubt yourself. It will all come together. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    So we are both 21 and been going out for over 3 years and been friends since we were about 15. I love her to bits and have always seen a future with her. Im in college got a year left of a degree course and she is also in college. So we have been using the pill since we have been going out and we were always safe, blablabla doesn't really matter now though. So she is pregnant my first reaction was oh no! I don't want a baby, lets get an abortion. But a few hours later I calmed down and we decided we want the baby and wouldn't have it any other way.

    So im excited now but absolutely bricking it, im determined to be the best dad I can be! We are both terrified of what lies ahead. My girlfriend is fantastic, an absolute gem. Lived with her grandparents her whole life as her mother wasnt fit to look after her. She looked after her grandfather who had alzheimers till the day he died this past year and her mother who also died this year. So she/we have been through alot. I have no doubt she will be a fantastic mother but I just feel is she fed up of caring for everyone and not looking out for number 1.

    I have it all planned out, the baby is due in november. Im gunna finish college while she takes a year out and minds the baby. Im then gunna get a job after my degree while she goes back to college. My parents are great and I have no doubt they will help out to no end including financially. And her uncles are like brothers to her and will be a huge help aswell.

    It gunna be tough but I gotta grow up, I gotta think of my baby and girlfriend now and our future.
    Im basically just on here looking for advice from other young parents.

    Im gunna be a dad, I cant wait :)

    OP, You have no idea how alike our stories are.

    My OH and I, together 2 years, both in college (though we only started our respective courses), and on the pill too. He is 24, I'm 22 our son was born 6 weeks ago. He had the same thoughts as you when we found out I was pregnant!

    He is still in college, I am taking a year off and will be going back next year when he's 11 months old. My OH had a dad with Alzeimhers too, but sadly he died last year. You are lucky you have a good support base to help you both emotionally and financially. We didnt have that guarantee at first.

    Now my OH's mother adores her grandson, my OH and I could not love our son anymore, he is truly a great baby.

    Where in the country are ye? what are ye studying? We study Medicine and Nursing, so we have to juggle study and himself, it can be difficult but is worth it:)

    Congrats to you both and well done for sticking around, I know personally that having the guy stick around is a great relief for a girl. You will find it hard to juggle your exams and the baby, but please stick through, they need you. My little guy is only 6 weeks old but I swear he adores his daddy, I am only second best, even though I carried him all 9 months, gave birth to him and do 99.9999% of all night shifts, go figure:rolleyes::D

    If you are a registered user PM me any time:) My OH and I were in your boat so we would be more than willing to help:)


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