Broke up - back to lonliness

LegacyUser

So the most amazing girl ive ever known has broken up with me after just 2 monthes because she isnt in love with me after all. we werent together all that long but i thought id have waited forever for her and im used to not meeting interesting intelligent women im attracted to but she blew me away and surprise of surprises, she liked me back. ive never been a one night stand guy and im not gifted with amazing looks or charm and charisma. im shy and thought i was destined to spend the rest of my life alone just like the first quarter of a century. now im broken hearted and feel like the clouds are rolling in again. i dont know if you can say anything to make me feel better but please try anyway

Sephiroth_dude

time is a great healer,I know it hurts now but just keep busy and try not to dwell on it,cut all contact with her,I kn ow how you feel I was dumped recently to by someone I love but keeping busy is key,chin up you'll get over her.

LegacyUser

hi op,

chin up. the same happened to me just on monday with my bf. i was in the exact same position as you. like the previous poster says, time is a great healer. i know exactly what you are going through right now, try keep buzy, block all contact with her and go out and have fun with your friends.

dont allow someone to take over your life especially if you arent with them anymore.

take care
x

Kirnsy

there are plenty of women out there for you man. if she decided you weren't good enough for her after two months then you are better off without her.

as the previous poster said, get busy, get active and enjoy yourself as best you can. an amazing woman maybe around the corner.

G-Money

It's hard when it happens, no doubt. People handle it in different ways and get over it in different ways. When I was trying to get over a girl I liked, I used to focus on all her negative qualities. Basically stuff that I either didn't notice, or overlooked during the "rosy" times. I'd often focus on these negative things to the point where I'd just lose interest in the girl.

My advice is to just try and keep yourself busy. Go out, socialise. Even try internet dating. It's a great way to quickly get in contact with other women and make you feel like you are doing something about your situation, rather than sitting around in a dark room with Radiohead on in the background

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

im shy and thought i was destined to spend the rest of my life alone just like the first quarter of a century.

And therein lies your answer, if you want to see it. You've thought before that you weren't going to meet anyone, and you were wrong.

So if you think it now, chances are that you're wrong too.

You're also being a little melodramatic (completely understandable, after a breakup, but not good for you yourself)......

You said "the first quarter of a century"; if you're 25, then you wouldn't have been with anyone for the first 12 years at least, and you still probably wouldn't have been with anyone meaningful (in life terms) for another 5 - 7 years.

So aged 25, you've had about 6 - 7 years ABSOLUTE MAX of chances of meeting someone worthwhile. And even then, most people change a lot as they go through their 20s, so lots of relationships don't last at that stage as both people change and find their way in life.

Unregistered wrote: »

because she isnt in love with me after all

After 2 months you couldn't have even figured out whether you are "in love" with someone, let alone decide that you've fallen back out! Proper love takes years to develop and grow.....

So give yourself a break....you're only starting out in life yet!

Best of luck!

Agent J

Keep moving.

Believe me been through the breakup mill and the worst thing you can do is sit and wallow for the next while. Wallow all you want as long as you are busy while you are doing it.

Whatever interests you have keep pursuing them. Dont have any? Find some.
Keep in touch with your friends and go and see them. They'll help you through.
Point is to keep busy with whatever that will try to distract you.

I recommend some sort of physical exercise as well even its it just borrowing a bike and going for a quick cycle once a day. The adreline will help kill off the depressive tendancies or at least take the edge off them

Think of it as a learning expereicne, albeit it painful as hell.

It will be ok.

LegacyUser

In the exact same boat my friend. Similar age and its not often I meet a girl im attracted to and have fun with but at 25 I finally did. Got badly burned when I was around 20 and it hurt so bad that I didnt let anyone in for the next 5 years, I always kept my distance with women and it was as a defence mechanism because I didnt want to feel that pain again. So recently met a girl i was crazy about around 4/5 months ago who for the first time in a long time I decided to invest in emotionally and she has just told me she isnt really interested anymore and BANG...theres that pain I fought 5 years not to have again!! Its a horrible feelling OP and I know what your going through. You think if it took this long to find one person your interested in and likes you back then how long will it take to find another. It will be tough but you will get through it just like I will. I know the best thing will be to have no contact at all and I now for sure Ill once again be stand-offish with women and Ill ruin many chances to meet new people because of this but hopefully I will and you will too OP....lifes a bitch.