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Not sex no desire...help

  • 28-03-2009 10:14am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    so ive been going out with my gf for nearly 2 years now. both of us have never had sex before we met each other. We've done it a good few times over the years, but with both of us living in our family homes, understandably there can be point when we dont get time to ourselves for a while.

    Before christmas, she went and got those cervical cancer injections, which are a few over the 6 months. Whatever the doctor said to her about sex, its put it in her mind that if she has sex during this time, it may alter the injections effectivness. I feel like thats a load of bull seeing as shes had sex before, but i agreed not to have sex to keep her happy.

    Thing is though, we're over halfway through this six months and it seems like all of her desire to do anything physical has gone. I say it to her and she says she wants to do stuff only when shes in the mood (which seems like never) and not simply when other family members arent in the house(which is never). before these injections, she was up for doing stuff a lot of the time. now its nothing.

    i love her but i dont want to break up with her over something like this but Im dying for it nearly all the time, started watching porn way more because it seems like the chance of having her in the mood and the house empty will happen once in a blue moon.

    Is there a way of influencing here to change at all? What should I do?


Comments

  • #2
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    I honestly don't know about the injections/what you should and shouldn't do whilst getting them so I can't help in that point - if she won't have sex/anything during this time because the doctor told her, then you won't change her mind.

    In general if you're trying to get her back in the mood - I would suggest a break from the norm - not just when the house is free etc. Maybe a weekend away or something. Make it nice and romantic and fun, and not completely focused on sex. Enjoy yer time together, have a bubble bath/ shower together and you might spark up something.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Im respecting whatever decision she wants to make about sex because of those injections.

    But its any other bit of intimacy that seems to have gone out the window. Even the way she kisses me has changed.

    I feel like i put in all the effort in the intimacy department and she does zero. After a while i feel theres only so much i can do.


  • #4
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Even to spice up the intimacy side I would still advise the above, you don't have to be leading to sex or anything close to it. But just that the two of you get physically close & relaxed and just enjoy each others company.
    Again I do not know anything about the injections but she maybe feeling bad about the lack of sex/etc. And she knows you want it - so she might be feeling self conscious or a bit down about it, thus it's showing in even how she kisses you.
    Try even a romantic meal / walk in the moonlight (sounds corny but it's good trust me) just where you guys are alone. Even go to the beach for a walk and an icecream, it's strange but even simple things might help. She might need reassurance also.


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