He was THAT into me ....

LegacyUser

Or so I thought ...Keeping this short.

Had an ex (from a long time ago) contact me through FB. He initiated the emails, the invite, the first contact, phone call, everything. We met, had an amazing weekend - met two days in a row I mean. It was like we were never apart and it was amazing.

He told me he was separated from his wife and they were in the process of sorting out the house (No kids involved thank god !). Things we getting naughty but still nice with us, nice emails, phone calls, lunch, drinks etc over 8 week time frame - and then I get blown off my email saying he is giving it a second chance with his wife.

That he is really sorry, but he cannot stay in contact with me even as friends as it would not be fair on his wife and it was difficult enough a decision to decide to go back with her.

I sent a nice email wishing him the best and that I only ever want him to be happy and he knows where I am if he wants to contact me - how crappy is that.

Well feck him - I wish he didn't contact me now as I have been really upset ever since. I keep telling myself - he was just testing the waters and it I'm better off without him, and that at least he is trying to make a go of it - but I really want to give out to him and let off steam and tell him damn him - but seeing as I am being respectful of the no contact I am letting off steam here.

I'm just going to have to go back to my rampant rabbit :-)

krudler

did you expect him to give up a second chance at a happy marraige over an 8 week fling with someone on facebook?

SarahSassy

In fairness OP, he was in the wrong here. If he was so close to getting back with his wife, cos these things arent decided over night, then he should not have gotten involved with you.

A bit selfish in my book. Onwards and upwards.

Liam Byrne

Sorry OP - looks like SarahSassy is right.....and it also looks like you emphasised the wrong word in the thread title....should be

"He WAS that into me"

Onwards and upwards....

seanybiker

stock up on batteries for your rampant rabbit and try not to contact him at all. Although if it was me I would try see if his wife was on facebook and tell her everything. Thats cos Im a fecker like that.

biko

Well, he did make a promise to her and in my opinion should try his hardest to honour it. Hope you find someone else.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Yes I could do that on FB as I know all about his wife and she is on FB - I know so much about him, his wife, his family, I could email things that I know could devastate any chance of happiness and would just destroy his wife emotionally - but really - why would I want to do that ?. It would be cruel and hurtful and nasty, and I am not that sort of girl. I believe what goes around comes around and if it's meant to be its meant to be.

I would love if he had of tried to make it work with his wife and if it didn't work, then come find me - not do it the way he did it.

And Magnus I agree with you I think he should honour his vows or at least try and then he can hold his head up high and say he tried.

My pride is hurt and I'm a little pissed off thats all - but boy I feel better after the rant.

Thanks...

And Liam your right - he WAS that into me - past tense :-)

Miss Fluff

You have to consider the possibility that he was never separated in the first place. To move in and then out of your life with such swiftness would suggest he could possibly still be with her. In any event you did nothing wrong OP, you took him at his word. Regardless of whether he is being truthful or not, leave him too it and I'd block him on FB if I were you, you don't want him to come sniffing about again when it suits.

And the RR is great, so enjoy, it won't mess with your head;)

lolli

Op,

Thats awful. Make sure next time you find a fella who is totally over his ex.

They probably were broke up and he this as a time to have some fun so he contacted you. Fair play to them for trying to make their marriage work but it was wrong of him to drag you into the equation.

As the others have said.... onwards and upwards.

SarahSassy

Just read it again and he finished with you by EMAIL - bad bad form. Signs of a weak personality and this is backed up by his other actions. Well rid.

mrsdewinter

Unregistered wrote: »

My pride is hurt and I'm a little pissed off thats all - but boy I feel better after the rant.

Never a truer word said. You just needed to let off steam. Sounds like you've come out of this with your head held high - don't undo all your good work by ratting him out. If he truly is a bold boy, it won't take long to catch up with him. If he's merely a silly boy, but one who's determined to work on his relationship with his wife, don't they deserve a chance at happiness?

You're obviously a smart, sexy girl - you'll have no problem finding a nice guy.

Just my 2c

Stheno

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Never a truer word said. You just needed to let off steam. Sounds like you've come out of this with your head held high - don't undo all your good work by ratting him out. If he truly is a bold boy, it won't take long to catch up with him. If he's merely a silly boy, but one who's determined to work on his relationship with his wife, don't they deserve a chance at happiness?

You're obviously a smart, sexy girl - you'll have no problem finding a nice guy.

Just my 2c

+1 Imo marital breakdown/seperation is very difficult and regardless of the situation in most cases, a time of extreme doubt for either partner, meaning the relationship continues in flux.

Not nice for you, just my opinon, and tbh, marriage is a very serious commitment for people to make, so he can't be faulted for making an effort in that regard, whatever about the email breakup.

LegacyUser

OP, as you say yourself the only thing that's dented is your pride.
He is probably going through some serious stuff at the min so his head may be all over the place.
He may not want to complicate things with his marriage by meeting up with you face to face. But he did write to you so you must've meant something to him.
I have to say I would run a mile from a guy who is just in the process of separating. I was told to not date for several months after separating, it isn't advised because you have to heal and my head was all over the place.
And I agree why should his wife(and kiddies?) be hurt by any info you have? I asked a male friend to distance himself from me when my marriage was breaking down.All he would've been is an emotional crutch. I was glad I did as I can honestly say I gave the marriage my best shot..and my kids know it.
Later on down the road my friend and I did get together.....

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Thanks for the responses, and boy do I feel better now. Amazing how a little rant on the internet can make you feel 10 times better.

I have now planned a girlie weekend this weekend with my friends and we are going to get pampered, enough good food, I'd say copious amounts of alcohol only I don't drink much, so we'll settle on a few glasses of wine - a lot of giggles and that will put everything into perspective.

As they say 'it's good to talk !!'

:-)

Salome

Good on you OP - enjoy your weekend with the girls!

My 2c - I think he may have been genuinely into you, he may have thought that the marriage was irretrievable but when an opportunity came his way to reconcile with the wife, he couldn't not give it a try.

Do not belittle yourself with revenge by contacting the wife on FB - you've a helluva lot more class than that.

Breaking up by email is a definite sign of a coward. He was probably too afraid to say no to his wife too. You're better off IMO. Baggage is not cute.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

OK, I'm back and thought I would update. Even after my rant and my girlie weekend, which was great by the way, I was still seething and pissed off so I sent a text asking could we talk and he said yes so I gave him a quick call.

I told him the way it ended, or rather we ended was abrupt and basically not nice and that I would have expected more from him and that I thought I was entitled to more than the ending I got.

I got to say goodbye properly and it felt nice and good to talk because I got a lot of answers to questions I had. Now I know it sounds funny, but I am still a little sad, but not as sad as I was. So yep, onwards and upwards. By the way - I have a hot date on Friday Night, with a very cute guy I met on my weekend away. :-)

CDfm

OP - it may not be helpful but they are married and she had first dibs.

Financially and with the recession that may have forced them to stay together.

So dont feel bad and less of the rampant rabbit talk -you are depriving some man out there of a really special person :).

Heineken Helen

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all,

Yes I could do that on FB as I know all about his wife and she is on FB - I know so much about him, his wife, his family, I could email things that I know could devastate any chance of happiness and would just destroy his wife emotionally - but really - why would I want to do that ?. It would be cruel and hurtful and nasty, and I am not that sort of girl. I believe what goes around comes around and if it's meant to be its meant to be.

I would love if he had of tried to make it work with his wife and if it didn't work, then come find me - not do it the way he did it.

And Magnus I agree with you I think he should honour his vows or at least try and then he can hold his head up high and say he tried.

My pride is hurt and I'm a little pissed off thats all - but boy I feel better after the rant.

Thanks...

And Liam your right - he WAS that into me - past tense :-)

Awwww... but what a great attitude to have.:) You'll be fine... we've all been through crap like that and come out the other side... just leave it behind... and, if he DOES contact you again, tell him where to go