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Check Mate, Michael O'Leary

  • 26-03-2009 2:08pm
    #1
    dublinario
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 633 ✭✭✭


    Good news everybody! I've invented a device that will bypass Ryanair's proposed charges for toilet use. The 'Circulator 3000' is essentially an aqueduct from your anus to your penis, that turns the gastric system into a 'Closed System', much like a household series of radiators. Urine is neither gained nor lost, but merely circulates the bowels until such time as your plane lands, and you can avail of the free airport amenities.

    Physically, the device is littler more than a length of tubing, much like a sawn-out segment of a Hula-Hoop (in fact, the prototype is exactly that). Preliminary trials on monkeys (one of whom survived the night) are progressing well, and we've added Vaseline to the tube endings for easy installation.

    Physiologically, we can't claim to know what exactly happens to the urine once it re-enters the body (we're not doctors, after all), but clinical trials (on dying monkeys) show the urine definitely does come out the other side again (more or less).

    I'm looking for 100,000 clams for 8% of the company. Thanks for listening. I'll now be happy to field any of your questions.
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