Long distance cracking up

LegacyUser

Ive been going with a girl (both of us in our late 20s) for just over 7 months now and in the last few weeks she has had to move abroad for work, she'll probably be gone between 1 - 2 years.
We were/are very close and came through some very stressful stuff together. Before she left she was in total favour of us staying together, asking me to come with her etc, very upset.

I am head over heels in love with this girl and she knows it and I certainly felt it was a two way thing or would never have agreed that we should stay together.

Money is tight for her and when her foreign phone ran out of credit for international calls/txts i topped it up, hoping to make sure contact was good as she has very limited internet access. We both used to text a lot in Ireland, silly things just to say hello but she has pretty much stopped responding to my texts. We talk on the phone every second day which is nice, but one or two texts a day would really make her seem that closer as the phonecalls can be quite short due to time difference/work issues.

When we are in touch everything is good but then when i dont hear from her for 1-2days i start to wonder.
So its cracking me up, and im doing all the other things like staying active/going out with mates etc but am very tempted to follow her.

Sorry for rambling just had to vent

LegacyUser

How long distance is long distance?

As for the texts, 1/2 days isn't that long and you mentioned that you speak every second day anyway. If its bothering you, explain your reasons and that it would help you cope if she responded more regularly.

What are the reasons stopping you going to live with her?

prinz

When you've been doing it for 3 and a half years come back to me . If you're starting to crack already, maybe you should rethink the relationship, for the time being anyway. There's no point getting distressed over it only to end it in another 7 months time. That's not good for either of you.

That said LDR's can be ultimately rewarding if you're willing to go for it. It's like having the best of both world's at times.

Zadkiel

Hi OP,

I would also like to know how far is the Long Distance?
From my own experience long distance relationships can be VERY hard but they can also be very rewarding.

I was with my GF for two months before she had to go to England to study and we're still together 3 years later and happily living together.

The way we managed it was that we'd speak to each other on the phone twice a week so it didn't get too expensive and we'd go back and forth once a month.

It worked out for us but every situation is different.
Ultimately you need to weigh up the pro's and the cons and how much you like this girl.

As to the worrying about not speaking every day and worrying about not hearing from her for a day or two, its only natural to have doubts, but if you have trust between you, you'll both be fine.

Hang in there mate, I really hope things work out for you

LegacyUser

hey well im not too long with my fella but its long distance too but its within ireland. and even those 1/2 texts a day would make a huge difference espcially if ye only get to talk on the phone for a few mins evry 2nd day, stick it out but maybe say it to her bout the texts... its just the feeling you get, u need to know that the girl u love is safe and is thinkn of u!! may sound stupid but thats my opinion

LegacyUser

The previous poster summed it up pretty much.

I'm in Ireland, she has moved to Boston and is planning to come back in 1-2years. She wont be able to visit home so Im only to happy to head out there 4 times a year on my holidays.

Its easy to ask why I havent followed her and Im seriously considering it rather than lose her, but its a hell of a situation to be in as it means leaving (and there'd be no way back) a steady interesting job to try and find something over there for the sake of what may be a very weakened relationship.

LegacyUser

Thats a long way to go and a lot to give up.

Give yourself a little bit of time to adjust to the distance. You'll gradually get into a routine and that will help masses! I wouldn't go packing in your job just yet, especially if your happy there. It can't do any harm though to put the feelers out and see what you can find workwise, your not commiting to a life changing decision but you never know what might come along!