Whats the story hey???

LegacyUser

Hello all.
I know there is a lot more people with more serious problems but I need a good old fashioned cathartic rant, and hopefully some feedback.
Basically, I have been seeing this girl for the last year and a bit. It was very casual at the start. We would usually meet on a night out (we have mutual friends), chat, stay behind in the bar as our other friends left, flirt, walk eachother home, kiss, e.t.c.
Now in the last few months, we have both started college in Dublin and things became a bit more serious. Went on a few proper dates and had a great laugh together.
Im a bit crazy about the girl and her friends said she was smitten with me.
But lately I feel she has become a bit more nonchalant about the whole thing, or at least she is acting that way.
It seems to be always me that makes the first call or sends the first text.
We havent made contact in about two weeks now, and the last time was initiated by me.
So what do ye think?

ManOfMystery

Honestly? Sounds like she's lost interest.

But your best bet is simply to ask her.

R.D. aka MR.D

You need to ring her up and ask her what is going on. It could be any number of things: as above, she could have lost interest or maybe shes shy about it or busy or not sure you like her. Lots of things!

Ring her.


Good luck!

LegacyUser

This is what I thought unfortunately. Allthough I wondered if she was playing some kind of crazy mind game.
My plan is to meet up for coffee during the week and just tell her Im not interested anymore (allthough I still am).
Would just be such a shame if she was still genuinely interested.

Otis Driftwood

Mate have you told her how you feel???
Ye are back and forthing between friends about liking eachother so whats stopping you from telling her yourself.
Maybe she is thinking you are been nonchalant because you havnt told her how interested you are and thats why she has cooled a bit.
Go for it ASAP!!!!

LegacyUser

nedtheshed wrote: »

Mate have you told her how you feel???
Ye are back and forthing between friends about liking eachother so whats stopping you from telling her yourself.
Maybe she is thinking you are been nonchalant because you havnt told her how interested you are and thats why she has cooled a bit.
Go for it ASAP!!!!

Yep, Ive tried to have the "chat" with her before but it didnt go anywhere.
The two of us know we're complete children about the situation, and our friends often comment on why we arent oficially going out, but we usually just end up laughing about it together.
My male mind will never understand women.

Silverfish

Unregistered wrote: »

Yep, Ive tried to have the "chat" with her before but it didnt go anywhere.
The two of us know we're complete children about the situation, and our friends often comment on why we arent oficially going out, but we usually just end up laughing about it together.
My male mind will never understand women.

It's not like ye are the easiest to understand :

Unregistered wrote: »

My plan is to meet up for coffee during the week and just tell her Im not interested anymore (allthough I still am).
Would just be such a shame if she was still genuinely interested.

Why would you do this?

Tell her how you feel, don't play games. Maybe she thinks you weren't interested. Maybe you played games. Maybe she's really busy with college. You won't know til you ask her.

But making stuff up for no reason is a very childish thing to do.

Otis Driftwood

Unregistered wrote: »

Ive tried

Then try harder.What would you rather have?A couple of minutes of embarrassment explaining your feelings and potentially a girlfriend you are interested in or no embarrassment and no girlfriend.

Hmmm,I know what I would be going for anyway.

Rob_l

Do not start trying to play childish mind games!

One moment your giving out that she might be playing mind games the next you want to play them yourself, thats crazy!

As has been said if you are interested make this clear, if you both laugh it off when others bring it up then all that says to me is your both too embarressed to admit thats what needs to be done, but laughing is easier eh.
No body gets their feelings hurt if you dont make anything clear, everyone is saved from embarassment.

Well yes, sure you are saved the embarrassment but you lose the oportunity with someone that could have lead to something great(it might not but it could).
But you'll never know though if you never take a chance.

upmeath

OP, you're accusing her of mind games and then saying you intend to tell her you've lost interest although you're still all there. Think about what you're doing. Would you like me to knit you a straitjacket?

dblennon

i Don't agree with alot of the posts here,

Girls are smart and intuitive and your "relationship started very casual" The fact that it stayed casual meant she didn't want it to get anymore serious.

That doesn't mean that she dosen't want it to in the future but she's just in college probably enjoying her freedom and has no interest in a serous thing?

I could be wrong.

without cutting contact "or obviously playing games" show her through socialising that your still the fun guy who doen't rely on her for self fulfilment.

If she's still interested she will very quikly get back in contact if not then she is moving on, these things happen.

Trust me she knows how you feel telling her at this moment in time will come across needy, especially if you can tell she's being a bit cooler with you recently.

LegacyUser

dblennon wrote: »

Trust me she knows how you feel telling her at this moment in time will come across needy, especially if you can tell she's being a bit cooler with you recently.

Yep, Ive asked her numerous times about us before and tbh I feel that bringing it up again just comes across as being needy to say the least.

As for me playing mind games. Perhaps I am, but I feel that by nipping it in the bud now, it will save a lot of confusion in the future. Maybe Im wrong.

Anyway, thanks for the replies people. Some good advice in there, but I guess I'll just go with my gut instinct on this one.

Miss Fluff

Unregistered wrote: »

This is what I thought unfortunately. Allthough I wondered if she was playing some kind of crazy mind game.
My plan is to meet up for coffee during the week and just tell her Im not interested anymore (allthough I still am).Would just be such a shame if she was still genuinely interested.

Ring Ring: Eh hello? It's Pot here. How are you feeling today Kettle?
Ah a bit Black I suppose Pot, you know yourself........:rolleyes:

WHY OH WHY would you tell her you are not interested when you are ffs? That's buying into the "crazy mind game" if ever I saw!

Meet her for a coffee, tell her you like her and see where you stand. Better being open and honest about it m'dear. Don't indulge in mind f8cks, it won't get you any further.

Cormb

The best thing would be to talk it out with her.
It may not even be the worst-case-scenario (e.g. she may be finding the start of college difficult), but at least if shes honest she'll tell you up front what the story is.