Quitting Your Job

waffleman

I hate my office job - I did an I.T. degree for 4 years and have been working for a large company for nearly 10 years now since leaving uni.

I'd say on a daily basis I think of different ways to quit my job if I could.

And before everyone comes in sayin "BOOOO shut up you're lucky to have a job the way things are!!!" I know this but everyone dreams of not having to work and living the dream.

So if I won the lotto tomorrow I would put in my earphones on my ipod, scroll down to "LLCoolJ - Mama said knock you out", press play, drop kick my PC out my office window, walk into my managers office and take a big shiny sh!t on his forehead and stroll out like I owned the place.

Does anyone else have similar thoughts? If so please share

Or am I just a disturbed individual who needs help?

galwayrush

Winning the lotto would give you a choice.:rolleyes:

Sharpshooter

You do talk a lot of waffle,man.

HarryPalmer

Speaking as a programmer, I would say your plan for action upon winning the Lotto is just about right. Except the music... needs metal.

CreepingDeath

Throw a handful of viagra into the coffee machine then arrange a fire drill.

easyeason3

There was a job I was in a few years ago & while driving to work I'd often wonder about steering the car into the ditch so I wouldn't have to go in.
Then when I was actually there I'd pray a pipe would burst/ the roof would fall in/ anything really to get me out of there.
The happiest day of my life was when I left there. The only disappointment was that I didn't get to give my boss a good kick in the nuts before I left.
I've a funny feeling he had an idea how much I hated him & his cnut of a company.

Ross_Mahon

Head to work as normal except with Guns, Alcohol and Cigars in hand

CreepingDeath

One thing I have done already.... Lidl were selling some UV security pens a while back. I ended up writing a few UV messages on peoples PC screens.

Sleipnir

Well, drop-kicking a PC would mean you'd leave on a stretcher or crutches.
Hardly a "I won the lotto" exit.

pisslips

HarryPalmer wrote: »

Speaking as a programmer, I would say your plan for action upon winning the Lotto is just about right. Except the music... needs metal.

Angel-Massive attack

HarryPalmer

CreepingDeath wrote: »

One thing I have done already.... Lidl were selling some UV security pens a while back. I ended up writing a few UV messages on peoples PC screens.

Nice. Thanks for the tip.

Riddle101

You kids with your LLCoolJs and Angel-Massive Attacks. Metallica Sad But True is the way to go. Just imagine strolling down the corridor with that big grin on your face after winning the lotto and the sound of Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who takes you there
Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who cares
They, They betray
I’m your only true friend now
They, They’ll betray
I’m forever there

Playing in your ears. You'll feel like a milion bucks. Anyway if you hate your job then why not take up some college course for something else. It's never too late to go back to college. Hell i know this one guy who's 42 and is currently studying Criminology somewhere

HarryPalmer

Riddle101 wrote: »

Metallica Sad But True is the way to go.

You mean the sulky "I hate the internet because my Lear jet only has gold taps and not platinum ones" crew, who later became the "yeah, I like the internet" crew? Pussies.

I said "metal". I meant, "metal".

x in the city

Office space anyone?

HarryPalmer

x in the city wrote: »

Office space anyone?

Initrode or Initech? Great film.

waffleman

Some good replies there! I'm not the only one!!!

galwayrush wrote: »

Winning the lotto would give you a choice.:rolleyes:

the choice to quit my job yes - obviously not to squeeze out a code brown on my boss

do you like your job and get on with everyone you work with? Better yet you're loaded and dont have to work at all! if so I'm jealous

Let's say you worked somewhere you dont like or bores you to tears - you spend 40 hours a week around people you have nothing in common with except choice of university course - you win the lotto - how would you make your exit? or how would you LIKE to make your exit?

stovelid

Interim measure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRaYJtwTC20

Snowie

Sharpshooter wrote: »

You do talk a lot of waffle,man.

talk, no




day dream Hell yeah...

HarryPalmer

waffleman wrote: »

...how would you LIKE to make your exit?

To be honest, nobody would know. I would keep the cash aside for a while. Sure, pay my parents' mortgage and bills alongside my own, but no flash. Give it six months for things to die down, and then resign pretending to take a job in another country... in reality, a yacht crewed by hookers.

Fratton Fred

Drawing a 60 penis on the roof takes some beating

Loopy

waffleman wrote: »

I hate my office job - I did an I.T. degree for 4 years and have been working for a large company for nearly 10 years now since leaving uni.

I'd say on a daily basis I think of different ways to quit my job if I could.

And before everyone comes in sayin "BOOOO shut up you're lucky to have a job the way things are!!!" I know this but everyone dreams of not having to work and living the dream.

So if I won the lotto tomorrow I would put in my earphones on my ipod, scroll down to "LLCoolJ - Mama said knock you out", press play, drop kick my PC out my office window, walk into my managers office and take a big shiny sh!t on his forehead and stroll out like I owned the place.

Does anyone else have similar thoughts? If so please share


Or am I just a disturbed individual who needs help?

Absofuckinglutely..

Agree with harrypalmer though - needs metal..

AC/DC and then drop kick and shit on your boss etc etc

HarryPalmer

Loopy wrote: »

...and shit on your boss

Now, that's a professional finish. Have to ask - general drop-zone or in the mouth?

Sharpshooter

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

talk, no




day dream Hell yeah...

Don't we all,but it's dream on every bloody week.:(
/maybe one day

Loopy wrote: »

Absofuckinglutely..

Agree with harrypalmer though - needs metal..

AC/DC and then drop kick and shit on your boss etc etc

More on the ect ect please.:D
/I know you can do it.

Blush_01

"But you're lucky to have a job" has to be one of the most irritating things to ever hear. Just because there's a recession doesn't mean every job is suddenly fan-fcuking-tastic. Sh!tty jobs are still sh!tty, even if they're a job as opposed to being unemployed.

Sometimes the latter seems much more appealing. A friend of mine works in an office where none of the staff are happy but nothing changes. I'd do my nut if I worked there. I don't think he's in any way lucky to be there - he would be better off unemployed. The impact on his mental health would be phenomenal.

waffleman

HarryPalmer wrote: »

To be honest, nobody would know. I would keep the cash aside for a while. Sure, pay my parents' mortgage and bills alongside my own, but no flash. Give it six months for things to die down, and then resign pretending to take a job in another country... in reality, a yacht crewed by hookers.

For sure I agree - in reality I would probably do the same things

I was goin for more along the lines of what kind of extreme things people might think about doing (exactly like your yaught full of hookers which i find most appealing) and there's no denying I've thought of a few!!

The dump on my boss was just the one that came to mind when typing up the opener for this thread

BaconZombie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FuoGESqdIM

HarryPalmer wrote: »

Speaking as a programmer, I would say your plan for action upon winning the Lotto is just about right. Except the music... needs metal.

tech77

x in the city wrote: »

Office space anyone?

I think someone may have taken the OP's stapler again.

flowerific

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gujp3PxkkNg&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL9jMrmJLDQ&feature=related


'Office Space' is classic. i was an office junior admin once and every time any of the "more important" engineers joined the company i had to clear my desk and move to some crappy filthy desk and had to move 5times in less than a year :mad:
OP if you were made redundant you would get a nice sum for your 10years of service, maybe enough to buy you time off to find sometihing better

Alessandra

Something like this maybe?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ItlEbJZumA

HarryPalmer

Now we're talking Alessandra. Sure, no metal but a great soundtrack from a terrific film. One question... where's the ****e in the mouth?

marcsignal

waffleman wrote: »

I'd say on a daily basis I think of different ways to quit my job if I could.

quit,and on the social welfare form where it says: Reason for leaving your last employment ? simply write : END OF CONTRACT "Technically" you are not lying, it's just that 'you' ended the contract and not your employer. You will have your money in 12 weeks or less, because of the backlog, depending on your circumstances. Your local Health Centre 'might' give you money in the meantime

staying in a job you hate, will wreck your head, and give you cancer

good luck

fryup

marcsignal wrote: »

staying in a job you hate, will wreck your head, and give you cancer

well i don't know about cancer, but it will wreck your head

what you could do is ask for a exorbitant pay rise, when they turn you down tell them to stuff it

intermittentmay

I left my job last summer. It was one of the best days in my life. After three years bearing an irritating, ignorant, snob woman who sucked the life out of anyone under her power, one morning when she arrived I said, "we have to talk" and then she replied, "oh, my god! you're leaving?!!". When I said yes, she started crying and saying she felt betrayed, she wanted me to be part of her project... blah, blah. My last day I brought two big cakes to celebrate it, everyone ate but her. And I left as a kind of star, or so I felt.

Irlbo

I feel your pain OP,I myself am in the same boat,trust me,unemployment isnt that bad,you can easily live on 200 quid a week,if you can live life without the extra trimmings go for it,trust me not working is better then working somewhere your unhappy

me-skywalker

waffleman wrote: »

I hate my office job - I did an I.T. degree for 4 years and have been working for a large company for nearly 10 years now since leaving uni.

I'd say on a daily basis I think of different ways to quit my job if I could.

And before everyone comes in sayin "BOOOO shut up you're lucky to have a job the way things are!!!" I know this but everyone dreams of not having to work and living the dream.

So if I won the lotto tomorrow I would put in my earphones on my ipod, scroll down to "LLCoolJ - Mama said knock you out", press play, drop kick my PC out my office window, walk into my managers office and take a big shiny sh!t on his forehead and stroll out like I owned the place.

Does anyone else have similar thoughts? If so please share

Or am I just a disturbed individual who needs help?

and do 6months for aggrevated assault and have a criminal record and rule u out of enterring certain countries to spend your millions... plus you would be in the papers and all hte soap boys in the shower would ahve great fun with the millionaire bum!

LouOB

A guy I knew on diff team and company did it best
He just didnt turn up

He was non-contactable and no one knew what happened

LeahBaby

I always had the daydream of going into my boss:

"Hey Boss, I thought I'd come and see you before anyone else. I won the lotto; Come! Look out the window.... See that Red Ferrari out there??
You see the personalised license plate that says Best Boss??

Well that's for my boss from a previous job,maybe of you weren't such a w*anker someone would do something like that for you."

I since got made reduntant, he may think he has the last laugh, but little does he know I have my printer in my car already!

Blazer

We do the Euromillions here at work...if we won it I know that it would wipe out our dept which would be a massive loss
That's my revenge right there.:pac:

I'd come in for a few days in my Armani suit arsing around chatting up all the crackers who work here.
Then again I always swore if i won it I would collect the cheque on my way to the airport. Every country in the world over 10 years or so..
so the syndicate has to wait a while to get their money...no big deal

Mr.Lizard

If I won the lotto I probably wouldn't do anything because sensibly I wouldn't be in work the next day. Plus I don't really have any particular grudge against my boss or my work environment so I don't think I'd be poo-ing on anyones head .... except high-class hookers back at my apartment because it is a particular fetish of mine. Open wide for a nice chocolate surprise.

thelordofcheese

Mr.Lizard wrote: »

If I won the lotto I probably wouldn't do anything because sensibly I wouldn't be in work the next day. Plus I don't really have any particular grudge against my boss or my work environment so I don't think I'd be poo-ing on anyones head .... except high-class hookers back at my apartment because it is a particular fetish of mine. Open wide for a nice chocolate surprise.

Your avatar makes this post about 100% more disturbing.....and arousing.

but mostly disturbing.
mostly.

Hells Belle

Dunno if this works as havent tried it but on your way out go around to every one and have a little goodbye chat.....but with a massive magnet on your person, make sure you sit as close as possible to their pc and voila the thing should be wiped clean, may also work in a server room if you can get your face in :eek:

thelordofcheese

Hells Belle wrote: »

Dunno if this works as havent tried it but on your way out go around to every one and have a little goodbye chat.....but with a massive magnet on your person, make sure you sit as close as possible to their pc and voila the thing should be wiped clean, may also work in a server room if you can get your face in :eek:

I think they'd notice if you walked in wearing a magnet Flavor Flav style.

Alcatel

I think if you won the lotto it'd simply be enough to dance around knowing that they all envy you. Anything else will just get you sued and you'll lose your millions.

Hells Belle

thelordofcheese wrote: »

I think they'd notice if you walked in wearing a magnet Flavor Flav style.

dunno why but I always saw myself wearing a trench coat with the collar up and it wrapped around my waist - a huge acme one like wily cyote uses really wouldnt do :rolleyes:

ShooterSF

OP I may I suggest you don't poo on your boss. My dream has always been to walk into their office and without a word, unzipping and starting to piss. The confusion and the lack of anyone willing to tackle a urinating man would be sooo much more fun.

RodgerTheDoger

I think this is a fantasy we all have, and I mean 99% of the working population. Sitting round making money for some corporation that really could not give a sh!t if you drop dead tomorrow.

So that in mind here is my exit:

I would come to work like any normal day, sitting in on the normal meetings listen to the same ole crap from people who really do not have a clue what they are doing and agree with their bullsh!t. I would then go to the toilet where I would have my costume and nun-chucks ready, wearing only a cape and armed with my nun-chucks I would make my way back into the office. And sit back at my desk as nothing was wrong, I would say I would last probably 3 / 4 mins before the cops are called and my boss lands in telling me to get the fvck out. I would tell him gotham needs me, sh!t in my had and bounce it off his head. Then fly out the window and save gotham!

Alcatel

I think, honestly, that a lot of employees are loyal to their company and enjoy their work, as long as the company is loyal to them - fair pay and conditions, bonuses for reaching targets, etc.