What will I do? Patience is hard

LegacyUser

Hi, going unreg'd as many before me here for this. I broke up with my gf of 11 months last month. Things were ok, but i had been a little bit down, mainly about work and losing a bit of focus in my life, work and probably thinking about the relationship too much, does she like me as much as i like her etc, she had been busy with family stuff and getting her own life in order etc. I also was drinking a little bit too much when she wasn't around foolishly thinking that that would make me forget things. We had a fight over something stupid and i told her with drink on board that i couldn't handle the way things were going, it was stressing me out fighting, making up etc and that things needed to change. I was living in a dump i had been trying to get out of and was basically staying with her most nights during the week and rushing around feeling sorry for myself. She said she needed few days to think and i stupidly called her a few times over this period and tried to sort things out which didn't help. She eventually said after a few days it was better for us both if we called it quits. Very cordial emails and chats over the phone where she said i am a great guy with lots of potential and maybe (in the nicest possible way) should see someone to talk to.

I have since moved into a nice place, went and have been going weekly to see a counsellor and have started to improve some things in my life and started to take responsibility a bit and not to think too much which was not helping me out. I have been drinking a lot less and gave her lots of space, just the odd text enquiring how she was, job etc. I asked to meet her 2 weeks ago for a coffee to chat as we spent a lot of time together the past year. She got in touch yesterday morning and said how about last night. We met for an hour and got on famously, her life is on the up and up and she got some good news in the meantime, we had a laugh that both our lives seemed to be improving without each other. She admitted that she didnt see my outburst coming but said she thought we were too close and it was very intense. I told her about some of the therapy stuff as she was interested and agreed with it and thought i was a bigger man for doing it. We left with a hug and kiss on the cheek and now more than ever i realise she is probably the love of my life. I don't want to come over too much like "Ive changed, this is the new me etc" but i also don't want to lose her ever again. Was tempted to send her a text last night saying how great it was to see her but felt it might be too much. I really want to stop second guessing what she thinks. What do i do now. Would anyone see any hope there? Thanks folks

starchild

i think do nothing for the moment except keep improving your life as you are doing, id imagine it took a lot of courage to go for counselling etc and i can only admire you for it

why not see does she get in touch with you first, she might

upmeath

It might be hard but I reckon baby steps are the key here, I wouldn't go rushing back into anything. See about meeting up casually a few more times and report back to us, let us know how things are going!

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks folks. Its just very difficult and im guessing she is probably wondering if she can depend on me going forward. We are both around 30 and its no time to be messing around i guess and thats understandable.