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Loves me but breaks up with me?

  • 23-03-2009 3:59pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    What do you make of this?I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months and we are absolutely crazy about each other!For paddys day, we were in different places (i am in university and he was at home for a friends bday). We hardly spoke all day(and night before), and i was really pissed off from the lack of contact!The next day i childishly said an ex of mine was around and i might be seeing him - we hardly made contact for that day!The next day,he was in really bad form and basically tried to break up with me. So i just said fine if that's what u want i cant change that...then he is texting me tells me he loves me and that everything is messing up and im the only one he has etc straight away after i say that's grand if he wants to break up!

    Living so far apart can be difficult sometimes...with summer on its way and having no real plan as to what we are going to do!He doesn't want to stay at home and i don't want to go home but with work not easy to find i may have to!A lot of his mates are emigrating, and i think that may be whats wrong!I have another year in college and a long route of training ahead of me.

    I am so angry to think that he could even hurt me like this!He is saying that he just doesn't think and that he is stupid. Am i crasy to take this guy back??

    Advice is really appreciated!


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 Rosiecheeks


    Why did you not ask him why he hadn't been in touch? You are both behaving like children. Talk it out.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    So hang on.... you and he didn't talk for one day and you get píssed off. OK allowed(ish) so far. Then you as you admit childishly try and wind him up by saying you you're going off to meet an ex? Then you're surprised he's in bad form and suggests a breakup? And you're angry how he's hurting you? Ehhhh, yea I can see where he's coming from TBH. I wouldn't have suggested one I would have gone through with it, as it would come across to me as very self centered behaviour. I would at least told you I needed a break so you could figure out why playing games wasn't on.

    Basically talk to him. Cut the crap. Tell him your worries and take it from there.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 442 ✭✭puglover


    Hi all,

    What do you make of this?I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months and we are absolutely crazy about each other!For paddys day, we were in different places (i am in university and he was at home for a friends bday). We hardly spoke all day(and night before), and i was really pissed off from the lack of contact!The next day i childishly said an ex of mine was around and i might be seeing him - we hardly made contact for that day!The next day,he was in really bad form and basically tried to break up with me. So i just said fine if that's what u want i cant change that...then he is texting me tells me he loves me and that everything is messing up and im the only one he has etc straight away after i say that's grand if he wants to break up!

    Living so far apart can be difficult sometimes...with summer on its way and having no real plan as to what we are going to do!He doesn't want to stay at home and i don't want to go home but with work not easy to find i may have to!A lot of his mates are emigrating, and i think that may be whats wrong!I have another year in college and a long route of training ahead of me.

    I am so angry to think that he could even hurt me like this!He is saying that he just doesn't think and that he is stupid. Am i crasy to take this guy back??

    Advice is really appreciated!


    Seriously like, basically what you've said is, you weren't getting enough attention so you decided to start messing with his head & pretending you might be seeing your ex & then you are wondering why he told you to do one?

    Girl you are lucky that he does love you & still wants to be with you. As far as I can see you were acting like a spoilt madam, he got angry & in the heat of the moment told you it was over. No you're not crazy.. he might be though if this is usual behaviour out of you!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    we were in different places (i am in university and he was at home for a friends bday). We hardly spoke all day(and night before), and i was really pissed off from the lack of contact!
    One day of no contact, where he was at home fro his mates birthday and you were in college and you react like this? I can see why he wanted to dump you initially.
    The next day i childishly said an ex of mine was around and i might be seeing him - we hardly made contact for that day!
    Why? What the hell were you playing at? :confused: I don't normally tell people to grow up but i seriosuly recommend it here. Ask him why he wanted to dump you initially and ask for an honest answer. To be fair, he doesn't sound like he handled it too well. But if this type of drama always goes on then i think that's the reason there.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    Hi all,

    We hardly spoke all day(and night before), and i was really pissed off from the lack of contact!The next day i childishly said an ex of mine was around and i might be seeing him

    if he did this to you, what would you have done?

    why did you do this?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    And the moral of the story is: Don't play mindgames with your boyfriend.

    Lesson learned, OP. Grow up and learn to communicate.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Be under no illusion. It's your fault.

    You are now on the back foot and if you want to retrieve the situation, you'd better start eating some humble pie...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    On sunday night, i was headin out here - he went to pub, did not notify me of such!Barely heard a peep out of him on monday so i pulled out my ex on tuesday!Anyway, thanks for all comments!x


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 813 ✭✭✭Sinall


    You pulled out your ex because you didn't get enough attention from your boyfriend? Sorry to sound harsh but that's just ridiculous and quite manipulative. If you both value your relationship it's time to start acting like adults!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Dont play games... It never brings the desired result.


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  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    On sunday night, i was headin out here - he went to pub, did not notify me of such! Barely heard a peep out of him on monday so i pulled out my ex on tuesday!Anyway, thanks for all comments!x

    He did not notify you that he was going to the pub? And maybe he was hungover on Monday.

    You don't own this poor guy, he's perfectly entitled to do
    and go where he wants when he is not with you (cheating aside obviously)

    You've dug your own grave there imo.

    And before you get into anothe relationship, you might want to have a rethink on how you behave within them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    i know i know!I just love this guy so much!!

    Was a pathetic thing to do, coupled with been drunken and annoyed - it seemed the best idea at the time!

    Thanks again all, you have definitely showed me what a tit i have been!x


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Hey we've all acted like tits. I've been one on more than one occasion and no mistake. Just be aware of the madness if it descends again and try to catch yourself before it gets too mad.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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