Expensive Wedding Dress

melon_collie

Hi I was wondering if someone could offer me your opinions, particularly the ladies. Myself and my fiancee are due to get married next year. At the moment she is having a look around at wedding dresses. On Saturday she came home and told me that she saw a wedding dress that she fell in love with and that just felt perfect on her. Bear in mind that this is the first shop that she has looked in. Anyway, she told me that it costs 3,500 euros, which I thought was a lot! The tiara to match is another 500.

I suppose I am just wondering would it be completely stupid to spend that much on a dress no matter how well it fits. Don't get me wrong, I am not a mean person by any means and I want her to feel right on her wedding day. But I suppose I am just being practical. The reality is, the dress will only be worn once and will spend the next 50 years in a wardrobe.

I would love to hear some opinions.

StroppySu

Sounds like she has expensive taste! This wouldnt be the average price in my opinion... but saying that you can really spend as little or as much as you want.

My dress was 1,800... my friend's only costs 180 in debenhams. To be honest, as much as I love my dress, I dont see any difference in quality at all between the two of them.

Saying that though, it's hard to tell someone that the dress they love is too expensive. But then again, I'd prefer to spend the difference on a great band, better food, honeymoon etc etc

antiskeptic

melon_collie wrote: »

Hi I was wondering if someone could offer me your opinions, particularly the ladies. Myself and my fiancee are due to get married next year. At the moment she is having a look around at wedding dresses. On Saturday she came home and told me that she saw a wedding dress that she fell in love with and that just felt perfect on her. Bear in mind that this is the first shop that she has looked in. Anyway, she told me that it costs 3,500 euros, which I thought was a lot! The tiara to match is another 500.

I suppose I am just wondering would it be completely stupid to spend that much on a dress no matter how well it fits. Don't get me wrong, I am not a mean person by any means and I want her to feel right on her wedding day. But I suppose I am just being practical. The reality is, the dress will only be worn once and will spend the next 50 years in a wardrobe.

I would love to hear some opinions.

Have you heard the term Bridezilla?

If your fiance is prepared to spend 4k on these two items under these (somewhat impulsive sounding) circumstances then my advice to you is to gently - but firmly - pull on the reins now.

In addition to the dress and tiara, there are a whole host of other accoutrements to which the bride can potentially attach herself and which, if attached to, can be expected to be pitched at similar, premium rates. And if the bride is to be decked out in this fashion then it follows that flowergirl(s) and bridemaid(s) and the like won't be getting themselves kitted out in Dunnes Stores. Extrapolate the approach to the wedding-in-toto and you can begin to see how 30-40k wedding bills are arrived at.

It's a trap that's fallen into. No reflection on your fiance.

Given the timescales there is plenty of time to find a perfectly suitable dress for a far more reasonable price than that. I was on a wedding forum generating links to bridal shops for my fiance (I'm more net savvy than she) and read of one girl for whom money was "no object" finding the dress of her dreams in Oxfam (or was it Barnardos) Bridal! 400-500 quid in other words

LillyVanilli

My 2 cents, is that thats way above average price. But that all depends on your total budget. If you are relatively comfortable and dont have much debt, no big mortgage and no big loans, and can easily afford it go for it. I personally think thats crazy and would only spend that much if I won the euromillions

Wow, I'm amazed at the price of the dress but moreso the tiara - it better have whopping big diamonds in it for that price!!

I paid €900 for my dress 6 years ago, which to me was very very expensive, I think I paid 50 or 60 for my hair piece tiara thingy. Believe it or not, 6 years ago there weren't many options dress wise, what I mean is you had to go into a bridal shop and choose a dress, get fitted etc - that or have it made by an expensive dressmaker.

now you can order fabulous dresses online, or in normal shops like debenhams or monsoon for a couple of hundred euros, I would definitely be going down that road if I was getting married this year.

imo unless you're rolling in cash - 4k on the brides outfit is a bit mental! You will probably feed half your wedding party with that money.

Toots

antiskeptic wrote: »

If your fiance is prepared to spend 4k on these two items under these (somewhat impulsive sounding) circumstances then my advice to you is to gently - but firmly - pull on the reins now. In addition to the dress and tiara, there are a whole host of other accoutrements attaching to the bride which can be expected to be pitched at similar, premium rates. And if the bride is to be decked out in this fashion then it follows that flowergirl(s) and bridemaid(s) and the like won't be getting themselves kitted out in Dunnes Stores. Extrapolate the approach to the wedding-in-toto and you can begin to see how 30-40k wedding bills are arrived at.

I agree totally. Had yourself and your fiancée agreed a budget before she went window shopping for a brides dress? Personally, I would be hoping to get my dress for less than what that tiara she mentioned costs, and from what I've seen in the shops, it's perfectly do-able to get an absolutely gorgeous dress for that price or less.

Now I'm not suggesting you rein her in that much, but €3500 for the dress is definitely very expensive. Was at a wedding fair recently and saw an absolutely stunning wedding dress there, but it was €2000, so I just walked away and didn't look at it for any longer because I knew it was way outside our budget. I think ye both need to sit down and work out your budget. If I were you, I'd make sure you have the reception and ceremony costs covered, then work out what you have left to spend on things like the dress. To put it into perspective, I'm having my reception in a very nice hotel, wine reception, 4 course meal, drink for the meal and toast, it's coming in at roughly €8k for the reception. Your fiancée is hoping to spend half that on a dress.

StroppySu wrote: »

But then again, I'd prefer to spend the difference on a great band, better food, honeymoon etc etc

That's the view I'd take on it too, would she rather have the honeymoon of a lifetime or a dress that she'll only wear once.

antiskeptic

Toots85 wrote: »

I agree totally. Had yourself and your fiancée agreed a budget before she went window shopping for a brides dress?

Not really. She doing a heavy masters degree at the mo so hasn't got the time to go in-depth dress shopping - in which case she'll spend more than she'd like (looking like e1500). If she'd had more time she'd probably have bought quality secondhand. It's our day so it's got to be right - but mega bucks just wouldn't feel right for either of us. Sure, the short term thrill but the suspicion is that afterwards you'd be feeling a bit silly. That's us btw. Not everyone.

Personally, I would be hoping to get my dress for less than what that tiara she mentioned costs, and from what I've seen in the shops, it's perfectly do-able to get an absolutely gorgeous dress for that price or less.

Indeed. Monsoon are doing the business there I gather. There is a case of getting what you pay for when it comes to most things and you'll doubtlessly get more dress for 3500 than you will for 500 but the question is whether it's anything close to 7 times that amount

Me? I'm trying to get my suit on ebay. You can get a suit that's cost you e1500 in louis copeland for e500 or less there: new and with tags.

I think ye both need to sit down and work out your budget.

Then stick to it (allowing yourself a 10% overrun or so). The idea of throwing 30k into a wedding in these straitened times (unless you really can afford it) strikes me as lunacy

If I were you, I'd make sure you have the reception and ceremony costs covered, then work out what you have left to spend on things like the dress. To put it into perspective, I'm having my reception in a very nice hotel, wine reception, 4 course meal, drink for the meal and toast, it's coming in at roughly €8k for the reception. Your fiancée is hoping to spend half that on a dress.

Good point

Glowing

If your fiance has really fallen love with this dress, see if she could order it from the US - she'll probably save about half the cost of the dress. There are loads of reputable companies who sell online only, hence why they can keep costs so low.

Try leephilipbridals.com - email the designer and style and they'll give you a quote. I'll probably go with this crowd myself - 865 euro versus 1,800 in a shop in dublin!

tinkerbell

Well the way I see it ... if she wants to spend €3,500 on a dress and is insisting on it, then she should really have to pay for it herself. It's not really fair on the guy if he doesn't agree with the price but has to put money towards the dress too especially when the suit might just cost €500. When I get married, I would insist on buying my dress myself.

bnagrrl

Personally I think 4k on a dress and tiara is crazy.
I'm getting married later this year and the couple of dresses I have my eye on are all under €250, as my fiance and I would rather spend any extra money we have on our honeymoon.
As you say the dress will only be worn once so it makes sense to be economical. If your fiancee really wants it then, I think, she should pay for it herself.

Emerald Lass

another thing is - the wedding is over a year away, and she has only just started looking at dresses. in the coming months she could well see another dress she loves more. Most people would agree that buying one of the first dresses you see is a mistake - a lot of shops will not give a refund and you then have to use store credit, which can lead to disappointment. Tell her to take the style no of the dress. Then look online. Also bear in mind, the dresses seen this year, will be old season dresses by next year, and if she were to wait til say september, she may well be able to get the dress at a cheaper price.

If she is seriously thinking that €3500 is an acceptable price for a dress, then you both need to sit down and seriously start talking budgets. She may honestly not be aware how big a dent in the budget this dress will cost. When she weighs it up against other things she may have to go without it may put things in perspective for her and she may reconsider. Then again if she really has her heart set on it, then she can save like a mad woman for it. there is no reason to buy it now - it will only sit in a bridal shop or a wardrobe for months anyway. Truth be known, the bridal shop will not have it in stock - they only carry one for trying on, all dresses have to be ordered in. Even if she pays a deposit now, they will not actually order it until about 5 mths before the wedding.

The dress I wanted was originally over €2000, and I was hoping I didn't love it cos I was reluctant to spend that. I went to a shop in Dublin which stocks it, and of course I LOVED the dress on! But I was panicking about the cost. I explained this to the shop assistant and because I bought in Jan and because the new season stock had arrived the week before my dress was considered 'old stock'. This meant that I got €650 off the price! and alterations included.

tell her to hold steam and calm down - the excitment of the moment is getting to her, understandably. €4000 is not the kind of money to spend impulsively!

Emerald Lass

one other thing - unless you spend €4000 on her engagement ring, then maybe point out that jewellery which she will wear every day cost less than the dress for one day!

then again maybe you are in the €4k market - if so, dump her, marry me! please! I have my own dress, ready to go! :P

mayo pixiebell

Glowing wrote: »

If your fiance has really fallen love with this dress, see if she could order it from the US - she'll probably save about half the cost of the dress. There are loads of reputable companies who sell online only, hence why they can keep costs so low.

Try leephilipbridals.com - email the designer and style and they'll give you a quote. I'll probably go with this crowd myself - 865 euro versus 1,800 in a shop in dublin!

I really suggest shopping around.. I got my dress last week..a beautiful Maggie Sottero one for €1,300.. tiara is €50. if you log on to the website you can view the dresses and find a shop that sells them in the store locator. I also got 3 high quality bridesmaids and 3 flower girl dresses for €780. All for less than that one dress.

If u are near monaghan i can pm u some details

rafferdee

Sounds crazy price but it soo easy to get carried away. Important thing is to work out a budget before going any further. I had budgeted 1000euro for my dress but fell in love with one at 2200stg, with a bit of bargaining and good exchange rate I got it for 1500, just having to scrimp elsewhere now. Found it hard to justify to myself, fiance was the easy part. I got bridesmaid dresses on the net, half the price. Get her to look on the net, or even Northern Ireland or at least out of over-priced Dublin. Definitely bargain because shops all want your business. Tiara at that price seems mad!! Would she not prefer an extra 2000 worth of diamond or honeymoon

lindac76

It is on the high side, most irish brides budget about €1500-€2000 for there wedding dresses (i sell them) so €3000 and above is considered high end. Usually when a bride is in the shop and finds a dress above her budget i tell her " can you take the difference between the cost of the dress and your original budget from another part of the wedding, look at other things ye had budgeted for ie chair covers\posh car\nice shoes for the bridesmaids\wedding favours\mke DIY invitations!!! If you can save the €1500-€2000 elsewhere then go for it) i know its only worn once but its a wedding dress, she will be looking back on this day for many years to come and its important for most brides to feel amazing on that day over all other days, (i said most!! not all women feel like this but if she does then maybe look at other ways to cut back.....no one will remember that the chairs were covered or they were given a candle to take home but every woman there will talk about the dress)
Good luck with the wedding!

barbiegirl

If she has fallen in love with it and she/you as a couple can afford it, and she is willing to make the rest of the budget fit to allow it, then why not.
She will have to cut some things out to allow it. Assuming she is rational and sensible it should all be ok.

smelltheglove

I would encourage her to look around to be honest. I tried on a 3,500 dress and to be honest it didnt look fab but it did feel a bit better, not 2k better though so i bought one for around 1600.

As above though if there is nothing else that will make her happy than fit the rest of the budget around it. There are plenty of suppliers knocking money off their prices now.

ilovecars

although its above average pricewise, if she's lookin at dresses at that price range she must be able to afford it.. let her get what she likes,..

Terpsichore

An old trick in the hat is to get the reference of the dress, get a picture online, bring it to your local wedding dress maker - et voila! Starting price around EUR800.00, plus fabric cost. And you get to choose the perfect fabric.
Added bonus: you give your money to a local person, rather than to be forced to order a dress 8 months in advance because it's made in China (like 80% of all wedding dresses if I understand well!!!)
I went to 30 wedding shops and in each of them there was a dress I kinda loved! She needs to see a lot more shops and make up her mind.
OR, you can make it easy for both of you, pay the money and never talk about it again.
Get married in France, they don't have bridesmaids there, so the cost of their dresses can be added to the bride's dress!

shazypoo

I think 4000 is a little much. My wedding is just over 2 months away and I just started shopping around for dresses. I found a beautiful La Sposa dress which was last seasons, sample off the rack in a reputable wedding dress shop on stephen's green for 200 euro!! Include cleaning 100 and alterations 200 = 500 euro. My wedding is costing me over 20K and I'd rather spend the money on my guests and the ceremony. The way I see it, I'd be heartbroken if I dirtied an expensive dress and probably be worried about it all night.
Have a chat with her about your budget and she'll come to understand. I was tempted to spend over 1000 for a dress but decided against it when I saw how pointless it is....good luck!

GRANGE124

I think its a question of 1. what you can afford... 2. what you/ your fiancee values

Its like asking if €40,000 is too much for a new car... it is if 1. You want a small compact just to get from a- b or 2. You earn €40k / year...

I know a car and a wedding dress aren't comparable... one day etc... but

I know a few people who have paid 3k and more for there dresses, they haven't put themselves on the bread line but their not rich either...
Of course I also know people who paid far far less than this and got beautiful dresses and were beauitful brides.

Good luck with the wedding!:)

MJOR

Tell her to shop around.... I got my dress a few weeks ago..... I had been looking aroung magazines and this was mt third shop...it was the least expensive one i tried on and i feel amazing in it.


It all depends on whether she can afford it. Persoally I'd rather invest the big miney in rings or whatever