why are some men such asses?

LegacyUser

There is this guy who im not seeing officially but we are always meeting up just kissing etc not sleeping together. He rang me yesterday to go out with him and his mates so i said yes. Got all dressed up and he collected me. We go to the niteclub and i am upstairs talking to some people i know come down and he is shifting somebody else at the bar. Now i am not being a bitch but your one was totally uguly overweight bad clothes and awful hair, i am tall blonde and thin and always dress well i just cant understand it. He is ringing and texting me all day an i just want to kill him. help?

Wibbs

Some men are asses, just like some women are asses. This guy clearly is one. Have you said you would want it to be official or are you waiting for him to say it? If you're only hooking up now and then and you're going along with that without clarification and indeed encouraging that, he is free to go off with other women as you're not exclusive. Do I think he is an ass for doing what he did in front of you? Yes. Do I think he's an ass for doing so after asking you along? Yes. Defo on both counts. But there are two in this and you need to see where you may have been unclear with him.

It's entirely possible he likes you, wants to move it forward, but you've been unclear about whether you wanted too. Been there. Many men don't get "subtle" so you have to be clear sometimes.

Mr. Incognito

Why do women have a bad experience and then blame ALL men for the actions of one in a thread bash.

Seriously. You're not looking for advice you just came he for a rant. Yes he's a tool. No-one disagrees. It's not my fault just because I have a penis. Sheesh. :rolleyes:

marbar

i'm not an asshole

Otis Driftwood

I take it you mean why is that guy an ass?


You are obviously interested in him so it begs the question have you discussed how you feel with him.Maybe he just sees you as a mate and doesnt think he did anything wrong.You went out with him and his mates.Hardly a romantic date in fairness.His behaviour was inappropriate though.

star-pants

Agreed - not all men are asses. Not all women are asses.
But there can be male & female who act like them in this world.

Was this guy wrong - yes and no. Yes he shouldn't have invited you out & made out with someone else. BUT ye aren't official either. You've said yourself you guys just hook up all the time. If you want exclusivity you have to ask for it. He may not have seen anything wrong,as in his eyes, he was single.

cantdecide

Lighten up a little. It happened at the exact right time. Now you don't have to waste months finding out he's an ass...

marbar

maybe he didn't think it was a date??
that or you legged it upstairs and he thought there was no chance

STUBBORNGIRL

Unregistered wrote: »

There is this guy who im not seeing officially but we are always meeting up just kissing etc not sleeping together. He rang me yesterday to go out with him and his mates so i said yes. Got all dressed up and he collected me. We go to the niteclub and i am upstairs talking to some people i know come down and he is shifting somebody else at the bar. Now i am not being a bitch but your one was totally uguly overweight bad clothes and awful hair, i am tall blonde and thin and always dress well i just cant understand it. He is ringing and texting me all day an i just want to kill him. help?

i think that what this guy has done is completely disrespectful but without knowing the full story its hard to judge how much of an ass he is...

how long were you with your mates for? few mins or longer. The reason i say this is because if you were gone for ages perhaps he thought you had left. To be honest the fact that he is not asking you out and wanting to be your boyfriend clearly indicates that he is just not that into you.

Also just for the record - Tall, Blonde and thin and dressing well does not constitute you being beautiful as you are portraying! That girl could have sex appeal and charisma - i jsut think a comment like that is childish and uncalled for.

Beruthiel

OP
I have changed the title of the thread to reflect reality.

Yes, 'some' men and women are assholes, when you meet one, you avoid from then on.

Wagon

Beruthiel wrote: »

OP
I have changed the title of the thread to reflect reality.

Yes, 'some' men and women are assholes, when you meet one, you avoid from then on.

Haha, i was just going to say to the OP that the title of the thread was actually quite far with the mention of "some". Oh well!

My guess is that because you wearn't shagging him off the mark he lost interest. So yep, he's an asshole. There's lots of good men out there too. you have to just look a little harder.

LegacyUser

nedtheshed wrote: »

I take it you mean why is that guy an ass?


Maybe he just sees you as a mate and doesnt think he did anything wrong.You went out with him and his mates.

I think you are prob sending him missed signals. Dont get me wrong.. there is no doubt he is an ass... If you like the guy tell him.. and i think you do. He could just think ye are mates that get it on now and again. Im thinking this is a new type of relationship cos there seems to be alot of it goin on lately... Bring back the days of courting!! I want (not need) a man!!

cnocbui

Let's see if I have got the sequence of events right.

He asks you out, then when you get to the venue, you abandon him to go off and socialise with 'friends' you know - any of them male by any chance? So he decides to chat to a girl, or perhaps she decides to chat with him. When you finally decide to come back and give him some attention, you are annoyed because he isn't sitting there by himself, just waiting for you?

Oh, and you are also annoyed he is ringing and texting you instead of the other girl?

MrMojoRising

why is he an ass? Because the one he was shifting was uglier than you? Would it have been alright if she was a stunner and had nice clothes and hair?

Board Walker

he's a player... simple. get far away from him!

truse me he wont change. im a straight male. i speak from experience