I just want to see what she looks like :-(

LegacyUser

OK, I know I'm going to sound all fatal attraction here, but I was seeing someone who was separated from his wife and has decided to try make their marriage work and whilst I commend him for that and yaddha yaddha yaddha, I REALLY want to know what she looks like - is there a discreet way I can do that without stalking him myself.

I want to know would a PI do that - I just want to see what she looks like - she is on facebook, but does not have her image up and cannot see another way to get it.

I just want to know what does she have that I don't - I know - her husband and all that, but you know what I mean.

Thanks.

herya

Forget it, really. If she looks good, you'll suffer from self-esteem issues. If she looks not so good, you'll questions his reasons. Looks don't really matter that much in such situations. Don't turn into a bunny boiler.

Wibbs

Fine but what are you going to get out of it in a healthy way? That's the question I would ask. If she's better looking than you then you're going to feel bad, if she's not you're going to wonder why he went back. Neither way is going to give you anything like the "closure" you think. IMHO this closure lark is very over rated anyway. Yes it can help work through emotions if done correctly, but more usually it sets you back to square one and can even touch on an obsessive feedback loop.

I see it this way. You tried, it didn't work. He went back to his wife for whatever reason. It doesn't really matter why as the plain fact is he's not with you. You need to deal with that bit for yourself and of course it can't be easy for you, but finding this out will just raise more questions than it answers and will set you back from your real goal which is moving on, findng yourself and down the line finding someone who is there for you.

My 2 cents anyway.

haven27

Unregistered wrote: »

I just want to know what does she have that I don't - I know - her husband and all that, but you know what I mean.

I don't think you'll find out what she has that you don't have by looking at a photo, if she's pretty so what? if she's not pretty so what? I think it's more a case that they obviously have a lot of history, they must have loved each other to get married and they're obviously something still there if they're trying again.

Let it go and just walk away.

LegacyUser

yea, let it go. I did something similar with an ex. I wanted to see what her ex looked like and I found his social network page and ok, it turned out I was better looking and I thought Id be happy with that and let it lie but now that I knew what he looked like I kept thinking of stuff they did together or that he had sex with her in the same bed I was now having sex....freaked me out no end! That relationship ended and it was more or less because of my jealousy and stupidity.....curiosity killed the cat. That was a few years back when I was a little younger and I have definetly learnt from my mistakes!

Redpunto

Dont do it - what could you possibly gain from it.

You need to move on and let them try and sort their marriage out.

Bottle_of_Smoke

She probably knows what you look like so if you were spotted thats some serious damage done to your reputation

CDfm

A bit freaky but understandable.

It may be something to do with house kids etc financials and recession makes things to complex to unravel.

I wouldnt bother finding out if I were you.

SarahSassy

You are only torturing yourself by doing this... You are in the process of letting him go and your curiosity is natural but its not bringing you any peace of closure so why bother. Wish them luck and move on to the next free man...