Time to yourself

Tails

Hey everybody just need your opinions.

I have this "thing" in relationships where I want my alone time, from time to time. Now I thought I was pretty unusual in this til a mate of mine complained of the same thing.

So my question is do people out there have the same thing where you want just some time alone. No specific reason, you just want it, things could be wonderful in the relationship but you still want it. Just an evening. My girlfriends never got it and I can understand why, the concept does come across as "so you dont want to spend time with me?". Which is fair. But by time alone I mean doing my own thing which could include seeing mates.

And ladies is this common with ye or are ye understanding of this?

miss.lost

Hi Tails, I can honestly say that my Bf is the first person iv ever known that I would gladly spend every minute with but then an evening or two spent doing my own thing is appreciated too be it reading a book, getting my hair done or just going for a walk. Your perfectly normal!

YourName

Actually thought I knew you there when I saw the post as I only had this conversation with a mate just recently.

I Would have to agree with you, I am in a long-term relationship and I value the time I get to myself, I can't explain it to the missus either, she picks it up the same way as yours, but she excepts it all the same, which is good.

I just think its a guy thing, even if the relationship is going great, and every moment is perfect together, I still like to get an evening doing something on my own, or with the lads, which I think most men like.

The conversation with my friend just recently confirmed this, and I found that several of my friends just like a bit of time on there own too occasionally

So give the missus the usual, its not you its me ! ! ! !

LegacyUser

Had this conversation with 2 mates last week. Both of them are in long term relationships 2/3 years and they see their girlfriends practicallly 7 days a week....id go mental. I like to do stuff by myself, sure I still live at home and sometimes I could go a couple of days without seeing my parents and thats in the same house! Doesnt mean I dont love my girlfriend, i just think time apart is healthy.

emy-87

I am the same OP. I love my boyfriend and enjoy spending time with him, but I do need time for myself every now and again. I would go crazy without it!:)
Sometimes I just want to laze around my house or have a night out with the girlies, or even just having some time to read a book! I just say to the OH that I need a 'me' day and he understands.
So when my boyfriend wants time to himself for whatever reason I see absolutely no problem with it!

I think you should just explain it to your girlfriend, pretty much the same thing you said in your post.
Be careful how you explain it though, she might get the wrong end of the stick and think you need 'space' and all that.:rolleyes:
If you see each other everyday or every few days I dont see why she would have a problem with it. She must have a life of her own?!

MIN2511

I have "me" time, i don't have a bf atm but when i did i had "me" days... Where it was all about me and no one else.

My housemate doesn't understand when i don't want to talk to her for days...

Cool_CM

Everybody needs alone time, it doesn't matter how much you love somebody, you'd both go mad if you spent every living minute together.
Madness sum it up fairly well:
"Why can't she see she's lovely to me?
But I like to stay in and watch TV on my own every now and then".

Joey the lips

I am with my O/H 15 years and I still take one night out a weeks to spend with friend, family or just on my own out for a drive. I have always done it and I encourage my wife to do it.

Its something I would encourage everone to dao for many reasons but its something which I think helps you more when you have family.

The trick with it I found is not to make it something you must do do but rather something you want to do, Confusing Heres what I mean

Want to do: " Honey I want togoing out with the lads thursday I have not seen them for a while or Honey I want to spend thursday just buzzing around my house I dont get much done when I am with you cause I would rather spend it talking to you

Must do: Hi honey we are going out 5 months now I want to spend a little time on my own as we always seem to be together. Hi honey I must go out with the lads cause I have not seen them since I start going out with you.

I think the prob with the o/h is when you ask to spend time alone the o/h thinks your fed up with them. The trick with wanting to do this is dont make it strick that your going to do it ie do say "I am def going out every thursday with the lads say the lads meet on a thurdsday I might start tagging along.

What I am trying to get at is. Is healthy for any relationship and its normal but just be sensetive to how you go about it.

Oh yeah, if you all of a sudden get chatted up by a georgous women you would usually have no chance withe its a honey trap and your moth is a stalker!

star-pants

You're perfectly normal, I have male & female friends who enjoy their 'alone time'.
My friends exbf never understood it, he thought she just didn't want to see him / ignoring him etc. But that wasn't the case at all.
My past few bfs have always liked some time to themselves also, and they'd just say that. Which I could understand, some people just like to relax by themselves. I generally don't - I like spending time with my OH or whomever, but I do understand the need for it.

barleybooley

Oh my, I never realised so many people were like this, I hate when my bf says that he wants an hour to himself and he always says it's not because of me but I never really believed him.
So, cheers guys

Blue_Wolf

Love my alone time. Play the xbox in my boxers while drinking few heineken.

My sad idea of heaven :rolleyes:

lolli

I like time to myself too. Its healthy to have time away from your OH also gives you time to miss them and then you appreciate them more

My boyfriend hates not seeing me for a couple of days but I love the feeling when I come back that he has missed me and all the hugs & kisses I get on my return are great.

I think living on top of each other is certainly not healthy. We all need some me time.

ibarelycare

I'm only going out with my boyfriend 10 months and I definitely appreciate my own space. We don't live together but often I would spend 3 or 4 nights in a row staying with him. When I'm leaving I don't want to come home because I'll miss him so much but when I do get home it's nice to get into my baggy trackies and fluffy socks, open a bottle of wine and watch The Hills repeats on MTV Bliss! I often don't get to see him much during the week but even so, sometimes on a Friday I'll just want to get home after a busy week and be on my own. He'll always want to see me but I know I'll be seeing him for the rest of the weekend so I like to chill out on my own first. He's also the sort who'll text a lot when we're not together which I get a bit annoyed at. He knows now if I just send back one word answers that I'm just in a non-talking mood.

CathyMoran

I can understand perfectly wanting time alone, I know that I did when I was younger...however, myself and my husband went through some very serious life crisis in the past 3 years and now we do not like being apart at all if we can help it. Enjoy your free time.