I'm a stupid old man

LegacyUser

Hi,

Going unreg for this because it's just bit embarrassing.
I am 30 years old and single. I have had my fair share of relationships over the years - some longer than others, some "one night stands" that mainly happen in day time, some that are best forgotten, and never when alcohol is involved. Just to explain that I'm not lacking sex, so that is not the cause of this issue.
The house next door is rented by girls who go to nearby college. I get along great with them all. And one in particular. I'll call her "J".
I can't deny I fancied her. "J" is a lovely girl and in a very, very gorgeous body. But she is 19 years old, so I just sometimes wish I was a lot younger and put it out of my head.
Last night, just before I left for work, "J" called to my house for something I can't remember now. Just as she was going to leave, she kissed me!!! And I mean KISSED me!!!
And we didn't stop. It get very, very intense and had her top half off when my friend [God bless her] came banging on the front door to collect me for work. It was all I could do to stop. "J" lookef like a mortified teenager. Which she was.
I was usless in work all night. I can't think straight.
I know I shouldn't have let it happen, but I wanted to take her to bed.
Tonight, I will talk to her and fix things. But also I reallycan't stop thinking about how it felt and how much I want her.
I need you people, men and women , to encourage me in doing the right thing. I know I'd have killed the man who even looked sideways at my sister at that age, but I feel completely overwhelmed.
thanks for reading.

Beruthiel

First off, you're not old! You're in the prime of your life you silly man.
Secondly, she maybe 19, but she's still an adult. An adult who made the first move
So sit her down tonight, tell her your concerns about her age and ask her what is it she wants exactly.

_blank_

Unregistered wrote: »

I need you people, men and women , to encourage me in doing the right thing.

Seems to me the "right thing to do" in this situation is to go get the girl to come back to your place, and take it from there, same as last time.

This gorgeous, nubile 19 year old chick made the first move on you, jumped your bones as they say, and now you want us to tell you to back off?

Ain't gonna happen man.

You lucky bastard.

Miss Fluff

Come on now man, you're only 30, hardly an oily old fossil exposing himself to kids in the park.

Most guys I know would give their right ball to have a fit, nubile chick come on to them like that.

I really don't see what the issue is here.

Go for it!:)

Craft25

You're hardly stealing her innocence are you now? It seems like she knows what she wants!

I'd imagine your sister wouldnt be to happy with you if you did what you mentioned above!!

Tell her you have some reservations & then enjoy the ride! literaly. I reckon your hesitation has more to do with your own hang-ups than anything bad that will happen to the girl over it!

shellyboo

She's 19, not 9. She's an adult, capable of making her own decisions. She clearly knwos what she wants - you - so as long as you observe the campsite rule, you're doing nothing wrong.

cantdecide

I feel your pain/ pleasure OP. I would like to think that I'd easily resist when there's such an age gap. Having said that, the question is were the pretenses on which she called false ones??

If I were you, I'd enjoy exploring exactly why this happened and seeing if there will be a sequel. Be light hearted about it. It doesn't have to mean anything. These things don't always happen so allow yourself to enjoy it.

(I'm just a little jealous though, tbh)

prinz

shellyboo wrote: »

She's 19, not 9. She's an adult, capable of making her own decisions. She clearly knwos what she wants - you - so as long as you observe the campsite rule, you're doing nothing wrong.

Campsite Rule... I like it, don't see any reason why it should be applicable to just age disparity relationships though. Sounds like a good philosophy for any relationship. To the OP i would suggest talking to the girl for a bit.Take it slow. Hard to resist that temptation, but I would advise you try at least until you get to know her better and have an idea of her maturity levels etc. She may be immature with a crush on you as 'the older man' or she may be very mature and be perfect for you. Lay off the lust and get to know the girl before you hop in the sack.

sardineta

It's apparent what she wants, asking her to rationalise it may be too much.

Oh The Humanity

Just make sure she IS the age she says, if she is then go for it!

Amazotheamazing

You'd be an even stupider old man if you don't go for it.

_blank_

Amazotheamazing wrote: »

You'd be an even stupider old man if you don't go for it.

/thread tbh

TheZohanS

Unregistered wrote: »

I need you people, men and women , to encourage me in doing the right thing.

Ok, wear a condom.

herya

Unregistered wrote: »

"J" lookef like a mortified teenager. Which she was.

You need to clarify this. Have a talk with her and see what she's after. She might be looking for something with you or it could have been hormones. You may have something great together or you may end up with a fussy and moody teenager next door telling everybody stories how you used her. Weigh your options.

PK2008

Whoa!!Whoa!! Whoa!!

Since when has 30 become old!?!! Theres another question on PI, by a young girl I think, which also claims 30 is old!!!

Seriously like, Ive never considered 30 old, not even when I was 18

OK that might be slighlty off topic but I just had to say WTF!!

Anyway OP Ive read your question 3 times now and I fail to see the problem- if anything it sounds great

Dudess

PK2008 wrote: »

Since when has 30 become old!?!! Theres another question on PI, by a young girl I think, which also claims 30 is old!!!

Seriously like, Ive never considered 30 old, not even when I was 18

OK that might be slighlty off topic but I just had to say WTF!!

Loads of morons say 30 is old... loads of morons say 23 is old.

Basically, there is a popular view that any age past your teens, just because it no longer has a "1" before it and because it's adulthood, is "old".

OP, you're an adult and she's an adult and she likes you - Christ, you'd swear she was underage and you'd abused her. Go for it - stop caving in to narrow-minded horse-sh1t.
It's not even that colossal an age gap anyway - if you were 40 it would be a different story. But even then, if it's just physical and recreational, there's hardly that much of a need to "resist" (why? Because of what people would think/say?)
If it gets to the point where a relationship is looming, the age gap might prove problematic in terms of the different stages you're each at in life... but that's not even an issue here - worry about it if/when it happens. Meantime, go for it. Oh and at 19, she's not an innocent little teenage girl either. I was seeing a 29-year-old when I was 19 and it was fantastic. Didn't work out ultimately, but at the time, I couldn't have asked for better. And it didn't feel like he was this MUCH older man than me either.

You're young - not as young as her, but still young. Cast this "old" nonsense out of your mind until you actually are old.

Kenno90

she's 19 . A full consenting adult there is nothing to worry about . It'll be different if she was 16 op something . There would be nothing wrong with going for it . I've heard me loads me people who are far apart on the age spectrum that do fine in a relationship

waraf

Seriously? Surely this is a wind up. You have a hot 19 year old who wants to get it on with you and you're a single bloke. Where's the issue? FFS man grow a pair and get in there. Jeez...:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Im 25 and I prob wouldnt be with a 19 year old and would even think twice about 20/21 and its simply because most 18/19 year olds I meet now just wreck my head and it would honestly feel wrong to me!! Although you are technically an adult I still think at 19 I and the people I knew were way less immature than we are now. Im not saying it is wrong OP, you are two consenting adults and you are free to do what you like but I would just be wary that she is 19 and may not be as emotionally mature as you and may get clingy or could start bad mouthing you if things go wrong/could become a jealous psycho neighbour or she could be sound about everything. Also if I found out some 30 year old was with my 19 year old sister id have to say id be more than freaked!

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

Im 25 and I prob wouldnt be with a 19 year old and would even think twice about 20/21 and its simply because most 18/19 year olds I meet now just wreck my head and it would honestly feel wrong to me!! Although you are technically an adult I still think at 19 I and the people I knew were way less mature than we are now.

At the moment, it's only physical though.

Also if I found out some 30 year old was with my 19 year old sister id have to say id be more than freaked!

Well you've no real reason to be, other than "she's my sister and I must protect her" which is a load of balls. Age doesn't make a person a threat. A 30-year-old guy might treat her far better than a fellow 19-year-old. If your sister wanted to be with a 30-year-old guy and it made her happy, then it would be very selfish of you to be so concerned about your feelings on it.

LegacyUser

Dudess wrote: »

At the moment, it's only physical though.

Well you've no real reason to be, other than "she's my sister and I must protect her" which is a load of balls. Age doesn't make a person a threat. A 30-year-old guy might treat her far better than a fellow 19-year-old. If your sister wanted to be with a 30-year-old guy and it made her happy, then it would be very selfish of you to be so concerned about your feelings on it.

Come on, how many 30 year old guys are with 19 year olds for their stimulating conversation....not many!!

Terodil

Unregistered wrote: »

Come on, how many 30 year old guys are with 19 year olds for their stimulating conversation....not many!!

... so? Who are you to say what 'your' sister should enjoy with the guy she fancies and what not, and even worse, why would people get it into their heads to beat the guy up if it's a consensual thing between two adults?

We have brothers killing their own sisters for the very same reason here ('honour murders'). Promoting this kind of idea is ethically very questionable tbh.

LegacyUser

Terodil wrote: »

... so? Who are you to say what 'your' sister should enjoy with the guy she fancies and what not, and even worse, why would people get it into their heads to beat the guy up if it's a consensual thing between two adults?

We have brothers killing their own sisters for the very same reason here ('honour murders'). Promoting this kind of idea is ethically very questionable tbh.

Nobody ever said anything about beating anyone up. I just said id be more than freaked if I knew my 19 year old sister was with some 30 year old guy. Id probably tell her what I thought about it but I would'nt go beating anyone up over it. If she was 23/24/25 then fine she can be with whoever she wants without me questioning it but I just feel at 19 your still young and impressionable to an extent and have some growing up to do before you really know what you want. Thats just how I feel. Anyway dont want to hijac the OP's thread.

MrsMcSteamy

Hey, i would say forget about the age difference, im 24 and the last person i was with was 37, age is only a number. The only thing you should probably be aware of is that it will probably be only about sex and not anything more than that, in that i doubt this would be the start of a lasting relationship given that the girl is only in college she is probably out for a good time. And sure if she wants it and you do too then go for it.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

I just feel at 19 your still young and impressionable to an extent and have some growing up to do before you really know what you want. QUOTE]

Listen old man this may be true - maybe she does have some growing up to do before she knows what she want from life. HOWEVER, she is not looking to marry you or move in with you, she wants to get laid, and she's hot for you, if you don't shag her someone else will - so why should you miss out on the fun???

<snip>


oh and another thing 30 is NOT OLD!

994

Unregistered wrote: »

Come on, how many 30 year old guys are with 19 year olds for their stimulating conversation....not many!!

How many 19 year olds are with 19 year olds for their stimulating conversation.... not many more tbh.

Spon Farmer

Hi,

I'm not SponFarmer (real name Michael). My name is Maeve. I am Michael's girlfriend/lover/fiancee-if-he-ever-gets-on-with-it. Hi !!

First, 30 is not old. You've got 5 before that happens. [yes, you my love:p!!]

Second, will you fit into each others social circle? I suspect there will be great discomfort on the OP's side, based on his current concerns. Can you honestly see this going anywhere but the bedroom?

Third, you sound like decent guy. Go for it. It will not last but she might always remember you as the one every other man has to live up to. That might save her from the cretins out there!!! :cool:

Now, for SponFarmer's take on this as an open-minded, rational and adoring father :-

" I'd hunt the swine through the pits of Hell and smite Lucifer himself should he stand between us!!! " :mad:

So there you have my first contribution to this site. I shall join myself sometime. But I must away, for my True Love is... well, randy, actually.

Always happens when the week-end arrives and he discovers someone has canceled all entries in the event planner on his chorus box :eek:

Zaph

Spon Farmer wrote: »

Hi,

I'm not SponFarmer (real name Michael). My name is Maeve. I am Michael's girlfriend/lover/fiancee-if-he-ever-gets-on-with-it. Hi !!

First, 30 is not old. You've got 5 before that happens. [yes, you my love:p!!]

Second, will you fit into each others social circle? I suspect there will be great discomfort on the OP's side, based on his current concerns. Can you honestly see this going anywhere but the bedroom?

Third, you sound like decent guy. Go for it. It will not last but she might always remember you as the one every other man has to live up to. That might save her from the cretins out there!!! :cool:

Now, for SponFarmer's take on this as an open-minded, rational and adoring father :-

" I'd hunt the swine through the pits of Hell and smite Lucifer himself should he stand between us!!! " :mad:

So there you have my first contribution to this site. I shall join myself sometime. But I must away, for my True Love is... well, randy, actually.

Always happens when the week-end arrives and he discovers someone has canceled all entries in the event planner on his chorus box :eek:

Hi Maeve, thanks for your input. However if you want to continue contributing to this forum we would appreciate it if you could register your own account rather than using SponFarmer's.

Thanks

Zaph

Myggel

Two cosenting adults, lets not over analyse coz it'll be June and she'll be gone.

30 old - lol!

I know 22 yr olds that are older than me (31)!!

Loxosceles

I actually used to have a thing for seriously older guys (only in the States, till I came to Ireland and they were all nasty old misogynistic alkys who wanted sockwashers, instead of groovy enlightened 60s dudes. Another story though) Anyhow she may actually have a thing for older guys. Or, be careful in case her girlfriends dared her or something, in which case you may be having your heartstrings yoinked by a teenager. Make sure she's doing what she wants and there's not a rumor mill with the girls next door, because I'm not sure if you want a blow by blow report of your todger and technique being blabbed to Planet Earth after anything happens. You know 19 year olds...you were one yourself...careful now.

If she really wants you, she'll be doing it on her own and keeping you her little secret with no intention of sharing.

So do a little digging. Take all the "go for it" advice with a grain of salt, fantasy and reality are 2 different things and at the end of the day both of you are still human beings in real life.

Not all 19 year olds are stupid either. She could have a brain, be a bit more mature, and want you for yours.

Find out what she's all about. For that, you might require a couple of actual dates. Don't be self-conscious about taking her out on a date. If she's intelligent, the age difference won't show.

Crash Bang Wall

Amazotheamazing wrote: »

You'd be an even stupider old man if you don't go for it.

Take this advice man!!!!

Dudess

Unregistered wrote: »

Come on, how many 30 year old guys are with 19 year olds for their stimulating conversation....not many!!

Did I suggest the OP was into this girl for anything other than sex (at the moment)? No. In fact I emphasised it.

If you've a problem with a 30-year-old man being with a 19-year-old young woman because he wants to have sex with her... why? 19-year-olds often just want to be with people for sex too. I know she's young but she doesn't deserve to be babied either.

littlesurfer

do it. when i was 19 i was seeing a 33 year old..never hurt me...might have learned a few tricks too come to think about it....

tony1kenobi

I imagine the OP only came on here to brag the jammy bastard.

If you don't do it I will.

Soul Stretcher

Am I the only one that suspects that the OP made up this scenario ? Or that he is giving air to a fantasy ??

Seriously man. She is an adult. Forget about her age. SHE MADE THE FIRST MOVE !

I remember once when I was in a teenagery lethargic state, a delightful old man (unfortunately now RIP) said, referring to me, "the young today don't know they're alive !"

Pal, I'm feeling nauseous at the thought of your passing this chance at fun up...

Be honest, if you don't do it, how many nights will you lie in bed fantasising about what you might have done with her ???

Really.... I'll be 30 in May. If I follow your lead in a scenario like this..... shoot me !!

Zaph

tony1kenobi wrote: »

I imagine the OP only came on here to brag the jammy bastard.

If you don't do it I will.

tony1kenobi, you may like to re-familiarise yourself with what the charter has to say about unhelpful and off-topic posts before you post again in PI

Blue_Wolf

Exactly, she's an adult, she wants you, you want her. Go figure.

Beruthiel wrote: »

First off, you're not old! You're in the prime of your life you silly man.
Secondly, she maybe 19, but she's still an adult. An adult who made the first move
So sit her down tonight, tell her your concerns about her age and ask her what is it she wants exactly.

LegacyUser

hello,

I'm the original poster in this thread. I meant to post back earlier, but I couldn't find the thread. thanks for the comments.

week-end was crazy. an emergency in work got in the way on Friday

I told her the age difference would things awkward in social circles and it might not last
she said wanted her first time to be with an "actual man", not some "all talk rugby a**h**e".

then we f***ed most of Saturday and all day Sunday.
and it was fantastic if I do say so myself.

thanks for reading. have to go now as my lady friend will be here shortly.

wahoo.