Emotional Cheating

bubblewrap

Hi, did this unregistered by accident but it hasn't come up.

Anyway, I feel my bf is emotionally cheating with a female friend...no worries on her part, I know she feels nothing for him more than a friend, I can tell but I feel he puts her on a pedestal and I don't like it. When they meet up for a beer, they chat and chat for ages, if she comes round, by the end of the night, everyone is asleep except them 2, cosy chats etc...not that I think anything physical is happening, I just think he thinks very highly of her and can't really be arsed with me much.

He said I have nothing to worry about, I am his gf etc etc but it still hurts and pisses me off to be quite honest.

What in your view, is emotional cheating?

John Mason

Bubblewrap, please take all the previous advice given to you and seek professional help

so you boyfried has a female friend - so what

seriously, while you are on the internet, look up golden pages and get a phone number to speak to someone

stevoman

bubblewrap - i think your jealous to be honest and nothing more. relax and dont worry about it. so what if he has a female friend?

LegacyUser

Not sure about 'emotional cheating'..... but simple answer is no one should be put before you.Male or female it doesn't really matter. I know you say in your post that he puts her on a 'pedestal' but you don't really really make clear how you and your life with him are affected by his friendship with this girl, other than basic jealousy. Does he put her before you? I am great friends with some girls and my OH has issues what that from time to time, but that isnt my problem, I'm not going to let my friendships die because of her insecurity. That said I always put my gf first, if I have to decide who to be with at any given time she wins.

ellie1

your boyfriend has a good relationship with your friend. They are probably talking about you half the time.
He has told you you have nothing to worry about. You can tell he puts her on a pedalstal how so? Its perfectly okay for man/woman to respect and admire other men/women? I admire my friends boyfriends. I think one in particular is kind , caring and treats my friend so well. I think he is a nice person and I have told him he looks great in his suit. Do I fancy him? No. Do I want to have a relationship with him? No.

You need to work on your self esteem issues.
He is not emotionally cheating on you.

Kimia

What's the background here?

Has Bubblewrap posted loads about her bf already?

bubblewrap

Sorry to keep going on, I am not particularly jealous of her as such, but I am jealous of how they are together. He is so interested in her life and is always so happy to see her, she went on holiday for a week and has just got back and he said he missed her, he wouldn't say that to a male friend!!!

I just find it inappropriate. I know he wouldn't like it the other way round.

Kimia

I would be p*ssed off too. I don't mind my bf having female friends but come on people - it's inappropriate and disrespectful to be so gushing about another girl in front of your gf!

bubblewrap

I have just been sending whingey texts about it telling him and he called to say nothing is going on and there is nothing to discuss, he is so sick of it. I said he either accepts his feelings and goes out with her or stops this crap. To be honest, I just think he finds having a female friend a novelty. As I would with a male, I would rub it right into his face if I did.

ellie1

you may also say its inapproprate and disrespectful to be in a relationship with someone to be constanly analysing, criticising, and looking for issues in all their behaviour. Bubblewrap, if I have not seen male or female friends in a while, I would say I missed you , its so nice to see you , how are things going.
Now, you have been adviced to get some counselling for your own issues. Stop making dramas out of nothing or you will push your b/f away. I really dont want your next thread to be "my b/f dumped me because I was jealous of everybody he spent time with"

LegacyUser

Kimia wrote: »

I would be p*ssed off too. I don't mind my bf having female friends but come on people - it's inappropriate and disrespectful to be so gushing about another girl in front of your gf!

Gushing? What? He is good friends with the girl, that's what friends do. I tell my fella friends if I've missed them, big whoopee. Am I know gushing over them? No. It's not his or the other girl's fault that Bubblewrap is so insecure and consumed with irrational jealousy. Nothing she has said on this thread leads me to the conclusion that this guy is putting the friend ahead of the girlfriend. So no problems.

bubblewrap

It isn't just that though, just because I happen to live with him and we have the mundane routine, doesn't mean he can treat her better and think more of her.

What can I do to stop him taking me for granted?

Nevyn

Kimia wrote: »

What's the background here?

Has Bubblewrap posted loads about her bf already?

This is Bubblewrap's 6th thread about this issue in the last two weeks and she has managed to drag other threads off topic to talk about her relationship as well.

Bubblewrap I am locking this thread, you have had enough threads on this
and were given a world of advice and at this stage you posting on this
is just picking at your own wounds, go get proper professional help.