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Need help on birthday text

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  • 20-03-2009 10:03am
    #1
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭


    broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago she move out of the apt on tuesday,when she moved out i gave her a birthday card as her bday is next week,she didnt want to take it but i said i had it ages ago and i said please take it.so she did

    now she has moved out 3 days ago i did not contact her or text her in anyway,when her bday comes next week would it be wise to text her to say Happy Bday or will i leave it?


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    #2
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    thegame wrote: »
    broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago she move out of the apt on tuesday,when she moved out i gave her a birthday card as her bday is next week,she didnt want to take it but i said i had it ages ago and i said please take it.so she did

    now she has moved out 3 days ago i did not contact her or text her in anyway,when her bday comes next week would it be wise to text her to say Happy Bday or will i leave it?

    You gave her the card with your best wishes so I'd be inclined to leave it. I presume one or both of you probably requested space after the breakup so no need to send your best wishes again.

    By the same token, texting a very simple "Happy Birthday" won't do any harm either.

    Really depends on what you want to do, imo I wouldn't bother.


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    #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Leave her be you already gave her the card..


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    #4
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    yeah i think ill leave it,it will only hurt me if she didnt answer it and also id prob be moving backwards when im suppose to just get on with my own life.


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    #5
    Blue_Wolf
    Registered Users Posts: 861 ✭✭✭Blue_Wolf


    that's assuming that you don't want to get back with her?!


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    #6
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    oh i do so much!..i dont know what to do


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    #7
    Blue_Wolf
    Registered Users Posts: 861 ✭✭✭Blue_Wolf


    You will have to elaborate alot more on the situation than. A birthday txt is not going to get her running back to you. Doing nothing at all won't get you anywhere either.


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    #8
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    do not text her it will serve no purpose. she wont reply and you will be left waiting for her reply to engage in conversation with her

    delete her number and move on


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    #9
    bubblewrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 405 ✭✭bubblewrap


    I think it could be a bad idea, as previously said, you will be expecting a reply and tbh I don't think you will get one as harsh as that sounds, she was already hesitant to take the card so it may be wise just to leave it, you will look better for it trust me.


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    #10
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    yeah true,i deleted her number now and ill just carry on..thanks everybody :)


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    #11
    _blank_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41,926 ✭✭✭✭_blank_


    Sending birthday texts to exs screams of desperation.


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    #12
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    its her bday 2day and i didnt text.it was hard but i wont text her,im feeling better 2day and moving on..i will have my moments though,but ill get stronger


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    #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi,

    I recently split from my boyfriend and he asked there be no contact... I am finding it so difficult as it is 10 days since we last spoke, and every day I want to send a text and every day my sister helps me through not sending a text and every day it is getting slightly easier.

    I have to be honest I ache when I think of him and feel like my heart is going to break, but its happening less and less each day.

    What doesn't kill us will make us stronger, keep the chin up and be proud of yourself. There will be someone out there who will absolutely love getting birthday texts off you.

    :-)


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    #14
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    yeah i get the same thing feelthesame,i never got a text for a week now and you would be thinking aboout that person all the time,what there up to and are they happy or sad.its horrible.


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    #15
    Silverfish
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,696 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    thegame wrote: »
    yeah i get the same thing feelthesame,i never got a text for a week now and you would be thinking aboout that person all the time,what there up to and are they happy or sad.its horrible.

    Its rotten, but it passes. Honestly. And you look back and you really can't imagine you ever felt as bad as you did.


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    #16
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP - as Bart Simpson says you are damned if you do and damned if you dont.

    Why dont you go out that evening and do something positive - why wait go out the weekend and buy some new clothes for you and go somewhere loud with people.

    Get in touch with some friends etc.


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    #17
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    thats what i did bought new clothes and heading out the weekend also i joined the gym it helps so much.


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    #18
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    Update!

    Ok got a text from the ex saying how was i,i responded by saying fine.she said she would like to meet up in 2 weeks to talk and be friends.i said maybe.later i texted her saying i dont know if i can cause i have strong feelings for her and i asked her was the door on our relationship fully shut,and she responded i think so yes.


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    #19
    Amazotheamazing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭Amazotheamazing


    thegame wrote: »
    Update!

    Ok got a text from the ex saying how was i,i responded by saying fine.she said she would like to meet up in 2 weeks to talk and be friends.i said maybe.later i texted her saying i dont know if i can cause i have strong feelings for her and i asked her was the door on our relationship fully shut,and she responded i think so yes.

    Sorry to hear that. I'm afraid it'll be very hard for you to be friends with her, you'll have to find a way of keeping her out of your life until you are ready to be just friends with her.


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    #20
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    thegame wrote: »
    Update!

    Ok got a text from the ex saying how was i,i responded by saying fine.she said she would like to meet up in 2 weeks to talk and be friends.i said maybe.later i texted her saying i dont know if i can cause i have strong feelings for her and i asked her was the door on our relationship fully shut,and she responded i think so yes.

    Ex partners like this aint healthy. Why would you want to meet up? Its like having a scab and picking it till it bleeds.

    If you do feel to need to reply to her texts dont tell her about your feelings for her as your feelings are none of her business.

    Anyway - rather than thinking of her you should be putting your emotional energy into rebuilding your life.


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    #21
    thegame
    Registered Users Posts: 490 ✭✭thegame


    Update!! the real truth

    found out from a close friend of hers lastnight she said..

    She wasnt happy with me and it took a while to realise it!


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    #22
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,075 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Nothing against her, but as the one left behind I say scrape her off. Don't meet her, don't text her, don't call her. Don't go along with her wanting to be "friends". Just tell no thanks you're not interested. You will still want more and as others have said it's like picking at a scab. From anything like long term lovers to friends in my humble is a downgrade. I don't do downgrades and I would suggest you shouldn't either. Now you may feel you still want to be her friend, but I'll put good money that when you meet and fall for someone else, friendship with your ex will be far from your mind. May as well start as you mean to go on.

    My 2 cents anyway.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #23
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    I'd send her a text saying you aren't interested and then leave it at that. A simple straightforward text saying you still have feelings for her, therefore it isn't possible and would like to be left alone is straight to the point and requires no additional message.

    If she replies asking why, don't text back. She knows very well why. Meeting up is a bad idea because when you see her those feelings intensify and will drag the whole process out. Just a single text will sort this whole thing out and then you never have to worry about meeting up. The last thing you want to do is get dragged into a "friendship" where you're the emotional crutch. Miserable situation and one to be avoided at all costs.


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    #24
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Wagon wrote: »
    I'd send her a text saying you aren't interested and then leave it at that.

    Why bother ? Its a waste of your 5 cents.

    Dont get embroilled.


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    #25
    lynsalot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 407 ✭✭lynsalot


    Hey The game sorry things didn't work out with the girlfriend. Sounds like she's called the shots pretty much. It's going to be hard but you'll have to move on and you will. My first bf broke up with me and broke my heart and it was hard - really hard - but I got over it and not to trivialise it, but you'll get past it. eventually you won't even remember hard it was. Life goes on and you'll meet someone else.

    Well done on joining the gym and keeping busy. The best way to move on is to make changes in your life... make some new goals to work towards and channel your energy into them.

    All the best


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    #26
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    CDfm wrote: »
    Why bother ? Its a waste of your 5 cents.

    Dont get embroilled.
    It's just so she gets the message and leaves him alone. It also makes you feel better knowing that you're the one shutting the door on it. Means you can carry on without looking for lose ends.

    But any other 5 cent is a waste after that ;)


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    #27
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Wagon wrote: »
    It's just so she gets the message and leaves him alone. It also makes you feel better knowing that you're the one shutting the door on it. Means you can carry on without looking for lose ends.

    But any other 5 cent is a waste after that ;)

    As I see it - ignoring her is best given that she blabs to friends,

    There are no loose ends.


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