Not in love?

LegacyUser

I've been going out with the bf for just over 4 months now. Generally I've been happy but often enough I have doubts about the whole thing.

He's always telling me he loves me and that upsets me because I don't think I feel the same way. I get angry quite often with him (I know that mightn't be unusual) and get the feeling we are too different to be together.

Recently I've begun to think I may only physically attracted to him and that there aren't many aspects of his personality I like.

I just want to know if these feelings are common and if loving someone is something which develops over time for the most part...

puglover

Love does develop over time, and can take longer for some. However it develops from "liking" someone and it sounds to me that apart from the physical, there isn't too much that you like about BF

idontknowmyname

If you don't like many aspects of his personality then why are you with him?(aside from the physical side of things).
What do you like about him? If you love someone, you love who they are- not everyone has the perfect personality and you have to accept someone's flaws. Although over time things which you didn't mind initially can really start to annoy you about someone so people can fall out of love for reasons like that. If you're not sure of your feelings, that's ok,
Have you ever been in love?

Blue_Wolf

This is a problem i have with my girlfriend. She loves me and I dont love her and shes upset about this. Personally I just need time.
However, I think you have a different issue than mine. When he says he loves you, you get angry with him as if you resent the thought of him loving you.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years because I had fallen out of love with her and i started to get angry at her for no reason especially when she showed me emotion.I knew at this point that it was the end.

Nulty

So you've been with him for 4 months....all depends on how long you've actually known him.

and considering the info you've posted, i'd try to take things at face value, he says love but hes a bloke so he may just be saying that to give the impression of commitment. i know im a bloke.:o

if your young i reckon you might be putting too much emphasis on what love is, i dont know what it is. i broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years for various reasons but mostly cos i didnt think i was right for her. sounds stupid, even to me but thats as close to love as i've been.

what stands out most of all in your post is "there aren't many aspects of his personality I like" - On that quote alone id say get out.

LegacyUser

Maybe I was a bit misleading, I do like him. I just see a lot of differences in us.

This is my first real relationship so no I haven't been in love before. I think there may be some truth in saying he may just wanna seem committed by saying love because he does say he would commit to me indefinitely. I tell him I don't think we've known each other long enough for that and he seems to understand.

I don't resent him loving me but sometimes I feel it may be more than that, like him wanting me to say it or him wanting to sound committed, as has been said.

Maybe its best to give it time to see if I see past the differences in us. I am young, 19, so love isn't too much of a priority yet.

puglover

Unregistered wrote: »

Maybe its best to give it time to see if I see past the differences in us. I am young, 19, so love isn't too much of a priority yet.

Oh hunny, maybe you shouldn't bother. At 19 & your first real relationship it should be all butterflies in the tummy & fun & excitement. It's a great feeling. Most of the time doesn't last when it's your first (sometimes does) but you shouldn't be missing out on that now. You're only young once so don't tie yourself to someone you're not sure about, you should be having fun