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I Love Older Men!

  • 19-03-2009 4:48pm
    #1
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭


    I'm 18 and in a Long term relationship. Recently my bf and I broke up for a 2 weeks stint. I decided to go out with a good male friend who is 30 yrs old. After the date my bf and I decided it didnt feel right being with other people and got back together.
    However I am worried that if we break up i'll keep chasing after older,and quite often married guys.Alot of my friends are in the 25-40 age bracket and I find alot of them very attractive.

    Is this really a problem(of course i'd never pursue a married man) or should I just go with the flow?My bf is 21 by the way


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    i'll keep chasing after older,and quite often married guys...
    ...Is this really a problem(of course i'd never pursue a married man)


    Say what now? How about you grow up a bit and leave married men alone. As for the age thing... not much of a problem there.


  • #3
    Rob_l
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,905 ✭✭✭Rob_l


    No its not really a problem, your over 18 so are they so everything is fine.

    If it becomes an issue for you then perhaps you will need to speak to a counselour, but that if it becoem an issue.

    Your only 18 it is very natural to have feeling about people especially older more mature people who may make you feel more secure when your with them.


  • #4
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Rob_l wrote: »
    No its not really a problem, your over 18 so are they so everything is fine.

    If it becomes an issue for you then perhaps you will need to speak to a counselour, but that if it becoem an issue.

    Your only 18 it is very natural to have feeling about people especially older more mature people who may make you feel more secure when your with them.
    I never personally felt it was an issue until my friends started saying so. They say I have father figure issues but tbh I never wanted to have sex with my father!


  • #5
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Forget what the people around you are doing and just live your life the way you want to live it. There is nothing wrong with liking older men.


  • #6
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    Nah it's normal. Just don't cheat on your boyfriend though.


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  • #7
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    Wagon wrote: »
    Nah it's normal. Just don't cheat on your boyfriend though.
    Not my style at all,i'm a good girl


  • #8
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Do you have any friends your own age?

    As far as the age cap is concerned I'd say go with the flow although don't dismiss guys your own age. You are only 18 once and it's OK to be involved with guys your own age too, would be a shame to rule them out completely just because you have a "thing" for older men.

    Obviously the subtext of the above is that you are planning to break up with your BF. One trusts that it's not because he's not old enough?;)


  • #9
    waraf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,326 ✭✭✭waraf


    Funnily enough older men like 18 year old girls so I think you're in luck ;)
    Seriously though, for your own sake try and stay away from the married ones. Men will mostly stick with their wives when it comes to the crunch and you will only end up getting hurt


  • #10
    t-ha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,479 ✭✭✭t-ha


    Thing about older men is... we're so damn handsome!
    If I was you I'd probably want me too! Less fumbling, more O...

    Anyway, you're with this young 'un again. Why don't you give him a chance now instead of planning your post-b/f married man spree, say 4 - 5 years?


  • #11
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Nothing wrong with dating much older guys at all - however, if you want to hold on to them, there could be a problem: older guys are more than likely going to get sick of a much younger woman if she's immature - and to be honest, you don't seem mature. That's not a personal attack, just an observation.
    Fair enough, you're only 18, you're allowed to be some bit immature... but any girls your age I've known whose relationship with a much older man lasted the course (and there aren't many of them) all seemed much older than 18.
    HouseHippo wrote: »
    However I am worried that if we break up i'll keep chasing after older,and quite often married guys.
    As in, someone will put a gun to your head? How can you be worried about stuff over which you have control, seeing as it's within your power to stop things going too far? Especially when it comes to married men - it's up to you what to do in that regard, but if it goes pear-shaped, please don't try to convince yourself you weren't responsible for yourself sleeping with him.
    of course i'd never pursue a married man
    You just said you're afraid you will.
    HouseHippo wrote: »
    I never personally felt it was an issue until my friends started saying so.
    Ah well sod what your friends say - if it feels right to you, it doesn't make a difference how it feels to them.
    They say I have father figure issues but tbh I never wanted to have sex with my father!
    That's much too simplistic - there can be truth in the father-figure cliche. I'm living proof - I've always gone for much older men too and I had a strained relationship with my father growing up. The sex part is irrelevant - it's the need for love and protection by a much older male figure, to make up for not growing up with it.


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  • #12
    RacoonQueen
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 20,366 Mod ✭✭✭✭RacoonQueen


    I've always gone for older men too. In fact at the moment the one I really like and likes me, is 11 years older than me, single but has young kids...with me being early 20's that makes it all fairly hard. While neither the age or the kids thing actually bothers me being the baby in my family, my older siblings...and parents wouldn't take it to well, would interfere and would most likely just ruin it for me. :rolleyes: You have a boyfriend, why are you worried about who you might go out with afterwards?


  • #13
    Gyalist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Gyalist


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    I never personally felt it was an issue until my friends started saying so. They say I have father figure issues but tbh I never wanted to have sex with my father!

    Your friends could be right. I'm sure I remember a post from you last year saying that both of your parents had died in the recent past and that the man that you thought was your father actually wasn't. I even remember you calling your mother a tramp because she had an affair with a married man. Am I correct?

    If so, I'm sure that you have some issues that could be explored.


  • #14
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    HouseHippo wrote: »
    They say I have father figure issues but tbh I never wanted to have sex with my father!

    An attraction to older men has nothing to do with wanting to have sex with your dad. Instead it's all about the feelings of warmth and security that you typically associate with fathers.


  • #15
    RacoonQueen
    Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 20,366 Mod ✭✭✭✭RacoonQueen


    dudara wrote: »
    An attraction to older men has nothing to do with wanting to have sex with your dad. Instead it's all about the feelings of warmth and security that you typically associate with fathers.


    Or it's just that you're attracted to older men...there doesn't have to be underlying psychological issues to everything. As it happens older men tend to go for me quite a bit aswell...you can't help what you're attracted toooo like.


  • #16
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    mp1972 wrote: »
    ...there doesn't have to be underlying psychological issues to everything. .

    Actually, yes, yes there does.


  • #17
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    dudara wrote: »
    An attraction to older men has nothing to do with wanting to have sex with your dad. Instead it's all about the feelings of warmth and security that you typically associate with fathers.
    Its a purely sexual thing tho... Not about security or anything.


  • #18
    MrsMcSteamy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 607 ✭✭✭MrsMcSteamy


    t-ha wrote: »
    Thing about older men is... we're so damn handsome!
    If I was you I'd probably want me too! Less fumbling, more O...

    Anyway, you're with this young 'un again. Why don't you give him a chance now instead of planning your post-b/f married man spree, say 4 - 5 years?

    Ha ha loved this post cause seriously i wonder where all the good looking lads are and i realise they all seem to be HOT older men.


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