Boyfriend leaving care..

LegacyUser

My boyfriend is about to leave care after spending the last 9 years in it.. While he comes across as confident about it I can tell he is nervous (as anyone would be.. I'm a year older than him and the thoughts of leaving home terrify me..) I'm just scared that away from his siblings (who live with him too) and the support of the care workers (who I have to say are amazing) he'll feel really lonely in a flat by himself..

Of course I've told him I''ll be there for him but I havn't really talked to him about my fears as I don't want to burden him or maybe bring up things he is trying not to think about..

I suppose I just really want advice on the best way to support him? Or if anyone has similar experiences if they could tell me what helped for them? I just want to do what I can to make the transition easier for him..

Thank you x

AARRRGH

Could you explain what you mean by "My boyfriend is about to leave care".

Rob_l

How people react to a change like this is very different I dont think anyone can give you advice on things he should do, its different for everyone.

Keep active get involved in activities or stay involved in activities he is in is probably the best advise i can give.

Things that will be hard for him will be the initial isolation moving from a care home with many people at all times of the day means you are never alone, and so this initial feeling of isolation like you are alone against the big bad world can get some people very down.

All you can do is support him and let him know he is not alone that you care about him.

But you cant be everything for him you cant always be there for him he has to be able to live for himself, do things for himself as well.

juvenal

AARRRGH wrote: »

Could you explain what you mean by "My boyfriend is about to leave care".

I imagine that he's about to leave foster/residential care provided by the Health Board, and is going to head out on his own into the big bad world?

ellie1

op, your boyfriend will still or should still have support from his keyworker or support worker in the home he is living in. He has probably has a good support system in place from there and there is usually a support plan in place for somebody who is leaving a residential setting.
You sound like a very supportive girlfriend, thats great for him.
It may be difficult and lonely as it is for all young people leaving home , you just have to be there for him. However, it is made more difficult by the fact that the ops boyf has no family home to return to. He can however visit his siblings.
I hope it all works out for you both.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Yea I did mean he's leaving residential care, should have clarified!

Yea I suppose the best thing I can do is just be there for him. It's also that where he will be moving to (if this current plan works out) is further away from me than where he is at the moment. Not really far but probably so far as that I can't just drop in to see him on my way home as it is at the moment. We do talk on the phone every night anyway but I do get a bit worried he'll find it lonely.. As Rob_I brought up he's never alone where he is at the moment. There's always somebody there.

Yea he has told me he still gets support from the house he's in at the moment and that did make me feel better. He really does have a great team of people around him so I suppose I shouldn't really be worried.

He's a great guy and I do know he'll get through this, it's just hard seeing someone you care about going through such a big upheaval I suppose..