Is he into me?

LegacyUser

I need some advice from the lads on this one. So, I've been on a few dates with a guy I've been friends with for awhile now. I know that he's fancied me for ages and since I've been single for a while now, I decided to give it a go.
We slept together on the third date and spent the entire weekend together. I had the best time ever. This was about two months ago (started in January) and this pattern has continued throughout. We text during the week and then spend the whole weekend together. I always have an amazing time, but then during the week I don't hear from him much, besides a few texts. He's never used me as a booty call after he's been out or anything like that, as we always spend loads of time together before heading home to sleep together. I have never brought up the subject of us, or asked him if he likes me.
Is he using me for sex, or does he actually like me?

Blue_Wolf

That's a question you will have to ask him. Tell him you have your flowers but ask if he will spend the weekend with you anyways. If he says ah no ive got plans than you have a reason to be suspicious. Other than the TEST, your other choice is to be upfront and ask him do you like me? Which in fairness he's going to say yes anyways.
Now he could genuinely have plans over the weekend so wait for him to ask you to meet up over the weekend you say yes and just say oh went cant do anything and see what his reaction is.

Terodil

Blue_Wolf wrote: »

That's a question you will have to ask him.

+1, but don't play around. I think you should just tell him that you'd like to do stuff beyond the weekend fun you described, maybe go out to the cinema or for dinner during the week too, to get stuff on a more well-rounded basis. Tell him that you'd like to chat during the week too. IMO that would be normal for any healthy, developing relationship. If he reacts negatively, you can see if you want to ask him what he sees your relationship like (but don't start out with this as it tends to be a high-pressure question).

jim o doom

Blue_Wolf wrote: »

That's a question you will have to ask him. Tell him you have your flowers but ask if he will spend the weekend with you anyways. If he says ah no ive got plans than you have a reason to be suspicious. Other than the TEST, your other choice is to be upfront and ask him do you like me? Which in fairness he's going to say yes anyways.
Now he could genuinely have plans over the weekend so wait for him to ask you to meet up over the weekend you say yes and just say oh went cant do anything and see what his reaction is.

eh - I'm not sure if this test is a good idea; firstly I regard any "test" of your OH as specifically mindgames - if I though someone was playing games with me (the domain of teenagers not adults) - they would be gone.

Also another failing of this "test" is that he might be using you for sex, and not care about "your flowers". Testing someone you care for is pointless and generally counter productive. Would you like someone testing you?

bubblewrap

Just say to him you feel you should be spending more time together than just over the weekend, no tests, no games, just tell him straight. If he likes you, he isn't going to say no.

I wouldn't be happy with no contact through the week then to be full on 2 days per week, you need a balance.

jim o doom

to add something constructive to my other post; Instead of asking him if he is really interested in you, you could just ask him what he gets up to during the week and ask why you both don't meet up during the week sometimes as well.. it's a pretty straightforward, non mindgame sort of a question.

Plus it shows interest in what he does during the week - and I think any normal person in a relationship would like to know what the other person is up to during the week and meet up then too.. or at least me and all my mates and their other halves do anyways..

ManOfMystery

Does he work long hours? Play sports in evening with mates, etc? Perhaps there's a totally logical explanation and he's just quite busy during the week.

t-ha

Men are not text monsters. Not hearing much from us doesn't mean we don't care.

Redpunto

Have a few drinks and ask him, then you'll know either way

Ay Cee

If you want it to develop into something else, tell him, or ask him what the craic is?
Feck all this mind games. Just be straight!

If he doesn't want to get into something more serious and you're happy to go along with that, then what's the problem? No harm, no foul.

couerdelion

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Does he work long hours? Play sports in evening with mates, etc? Perhaps there's a totally logical explanation and he's just quite busy during the week.

+1

If I wasn't living with my wife I would guess we would see very little of each other. I play rugby two nights, normally meet mates another and she also is out doing her running with her sister.

Perhaps he likes spending quality time with you and doesn't want to compromise that bu coming round for a couple of hours after work and be looking like he's using you for sex.

Relax and enjoy the early stages of your relationship and the quality time you spend together.

LegacyUser

Similar situation with the girl im seeing at the moment. I go to the gym most evenings so not home till 9-10 so not much time to see her and the other night its usually meeting friends, out with workmates or playing football so just havent the time to see her. Sometimes when I do try make time for her she is out with her friends, gym, dinner etc so its really only the weekends we get to hang out. Doesnt mean he is using you, maybe he is genuinly busy. However if he is just sitting around at home all week than maybe he could at least make one day for you but sometimes if I do have some free time in the evenings I just like to flake out and go to bed early.