What's he waiting for???

LegacyUser

Met a really nice guy Monday night lets call him X. First time I've actually felt I clicked with someone in ages. Anyways we chatted for ages and had a little bit of a snog(initiated by him), then I went for a dance with the girls, ended up chatting to other people and before I knew it night was over and my group of friends were leaving.

Anyhow X's friend knows my friend who I was staying with that night. His friend send a text after the club saying that X was having a few people back and would love us to come. Now it was late and I was trying to play it cool so didn't want to be showing up, so we politely decined the invite.

Yesterday X's friend asked my friend for my number for him ... good stuff I thought. Since then nought. What could he be waiting for?

Ok I know it's scarcely been 24 hours since he got my number but come one like, why go to the bother if he's not going to at least text?? I'm probably over-reacting but I get a fair bit of attention from the opposite sex but rarely feel the same attraction so it's such a buzz to finally meet someone that I like, who initially anyways seem to like me too.

Nevyn

Why don't you get his number and get in touch with him ?

LegacyUser

i agree completely with the above, why put yourself through the agony of waiting just for the sake of "playing it cool". If he likes you too he'll reply and all will be happy and well

LD 50

He could be waiting a day, so as not to seem needy, or whatever it is. Give him a few more hours.

He could be busy either. Or may not have gotten your number of your friend yet.

LegacyUser

I've tought about it. I don't want to come on too strong. I mean he has mine and if he wants to get in touch he will.

I'm just trying figure out what's going through his head. He's been sitting on it since yesterday. Is it possible he's gone off the idea already or could he be like me and not want to seem to eager??

aye

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyhow X's friend knows my friend who I was staying with that night. His friend send a text after the club saying that X was having a few people back and would love us to come. Now it was late and I was trying to play it cool so didn't want to be showing up, so we politely decined the invite.

Yesterday X's friend asked my friend for my number for him ... good stuff I thought. Since then nought. What could he be waiting for?

Could be doing the same thing. I doubt he asked for your number if he doesnt plan on contacting you so dont worry.

event

perhaps next time you wont "try and play it cool"

maybe his friend hasnt given him the number, maybe he has no credit, maybe he's working up the courage, maybe he's nursing a massive hangover, maybe he cant be arsed, maybe he lost his phone

or maybe its only been 24 hours

Nevyn

Unregistered wrote: »

I've tought about it. I don't want to come on too strong. I mean he has mine and if he wants to get in touch he will.

If you aren't willing to get in touch with him then get on with your life and if he gets in touch he gets in touch.

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm just trying figure out what's going through his head.

You can't all you will do is wind yourself up about it,which is a waste of time
engry and emotion.

Unregistered wrote: »

He's been sitting on it since yesterday. Is it possible he's gone off the idea already or could he be like me and not want to seem to eager??

Who knows what the reasons are, none of us do, if anyone gives a reason
they are just speculating only way to know is to ask him.

LegacyUser

event wrote: »

perhaps next time you wont "try and play it cool"

maybe his friend hasnt given him the number, maybe he has no credit, maybe he's working up the courage, maybe he's nursing a massive hangover, maybe he cant be arsed, maybe he lost his phone

or maybe its only been 24 hours

OP here, in my experience it's always best to play it cool. Men just get bored if they think it's been to easy.

LegacyUser

Well guys like to play it cool anyway so 24 hours is nothing. The fact you played it cool by declining the invite might make him play it cooler or be a bit more unsure. He might be trying to work up the courage to ring you which might take a few days. I'd be surprised if you don't hear from him in a few days or next week at the latest.

Stheno

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here, in my experience it's always best to play it cool.

Why? Not all men get bored if it's been too easy, guys who are shy or nervous or often just as intimidated at the thoughts of contacting someone they've met up with once.

If you are that keen then contact him yourself

If you are not going to contact him, then you'll just have to wait.

LegacyUser

oh my good god, he got your number YESTERDAY??? Give the bloke a chance. He prob wont contact you until at least tomorrow stop acting so desperate and give him a chance otherwise he will run a mile, if he hasn't contacted you by tomorrow evening get his number and give him a casual text.

Rob_l

OP the guy could be thinking what to say, doesn't want to come on too strong and scare you off.
The fact that the initial meeting was in a pub means drink was involved so he was running on that increased alcohol bravery, now he could be nervous and doubting wheter or not you were just drunk and may not be interested in him so he is afriad to do anythign that could make him feel stupid.

This simple answer if you are interested in seeing hima nd can get his number then thats another option you have available, or you can wait out and see if he does make that move.

But until someone does neither of you is going to know how the other person feels or even how you feel, until you meet again.

Trying to start any new relationship is a scary experience for both mena nd women and sometimes guys can chicken out not becasue they are not interested but just becasue they let some inner voice filled with doubt convince them it would be too risky.

None of this gives you a yes or no answer and no here can, but if your interested isn't it better you take a chance?

Terodil

- Do not play games with people you are interested in.
- Get in contact with him if you really want to.

The fact that you are playing games with him but doing your head in over the question if he is playing games with you is just... beyond me I'm afraid.

LegacyUser

OP Again, maybe I should, might wait until tomorrow and then get in touch if he hasn't by then. I'm sure I could get his number easily enough.

What would I even say? Hi??

LegacyUser

I'm guessing you have little or no experience in relationships/dating. You already know he has asked for your number so leave it be. If it will make you feel better maybe get his number tomorrow and say something casual like "how was the head on tuesday I'm still wrecked" blah blah blah

Stheno

Unregistered wrote: »

OP Again, maybe I should, might wait until tomorrow and then get in touch if he hasn't by then. I'm sure I could get his number easily enough.

What would I even say? Hi??

Yep, Hi x, it's y, we met on (relevant date)

Then ask how he is, and if he'd maybe like to meet up for a coffee or a drink?

Worst he can do is say no.

Best of luck

Terodil

Unregistered wrote: »

What would I even say? Hi??

That's usually a good start. Get straight to the point and tell him what YOU want.

... what DO you want?

That's the problem here I think, you are not certain where you want this to go and try to rely on him to take the next steps.

Some ideas:
- have a cup of tea together after work somewhere
- meet up for lunch somewhere
- ...

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm guessing you have little or no experience in relationships/dating. You already know he has asked for your number so leave it be. If it will make you feel better maybe get his number tomorrow and say something casual like "how was the head on tuesday I'm still wrecked" blah blah blah

No... what an unfounded assumption!! I've been in 3 significant relations ie 2+ years, plus another good 3 years on the singles/dating scene. I have plenty of expereince, I just usually do not have to do the chasing!!

Strange that everyone else in this thread has given the opposite advice

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

No... what an unfounded assumption!! I've been in 3 significant relations ie 2+ years, plus another good 3 years on the singles/dating scene. I have plenty of expereince, I just usually do not have to do the chasing!!

Strange that everyone else in this thread has given the opposite advice

Well you come across as extremely needy and desperate. Ime any guys I have been out with or friends have been out with never text before 48 hours or so and if they do they don't get a reply as it looks desperate. He obviously likes you or wouldn't have asked for your number just have a bit more patience.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Well you come across as extremely needy and desperate. Ime any guys I have been out with or friends have been out with never text before 48 hours or so and if they do they don't get a reply as it looks desperate. He obviously likes you or wouldn't have asked for your number just have a bit more patience.

I'm not needy or desperate. I've my pick of about 3 other guys at the minute. I just happen to really like this one. And ime they usualy text pretty much the following morning if I've met them out.

kevmy

Don't mean to offend you OP but your one of the type of girls which annoy me.

Playing games with him, pretending you aren't really interested, giving him your number and then giving out about him not texting you, and then when you are put into the situation of initiating something you essentially give out saying it's too difficult.

Either sh1t or get off the pot.


If your not really that interested then if he texts you he texts and get on with your life. If you are really interested get his number and get in contact. If he likes you he will be in contact back. That is generally how these things go.

LegacyUser

kevmy wrote: »

Don't mean to offend you OP but your one of the type of girls which annoy me.

+1. No offence OP but you sound quite up your own ar$e aswell. You say you really like this guy then quit playing your childish games and get his number and contact him, it sounds like it's really bothering you so why are you hanging around by the phone waiting for him to text??

LegacyUser

Did you by any chance have this kind of I can have my pick of any guy I want attitude when you were with him the other night? If so I wouldn't expect a text any time soon.

LegacyUser

Kevmy read the rest of the thread will you, looks like you didn't even read my initial post!!

I obviously am interested. I'm not pretending I'm not interested at all, just not don't want to come off as desperate as the other poster put it.

I didn't give him my number, he got it off a friend and I don't have his.

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

Met a really nice guy Monday night lets call him X. First time I've actually felt I clicked with someone in ages. Anyways we chatted for ages and had a little bit of a snog(initiated by him), then I went for a dance with the girls, ended up chatting to other people and before I knew it night was over and my group of friends were leaving.

Anyhow X's friend knows my friend who I was staying with that night. His friend send a text after the club saying that X was having a few people back and would love us to come. Now it was late and I was trying to play it cool so didn't want to be showing up, so we politely decined the invite.

Yesterday X's friend asked my friend for my number for him ... good stuff I thought. Since then nought. What could he be waiting for?

Ok I know it's scarcely been 24 hours since he got my number but come one like, why go to the bother if he's not going to at least text?? I'm probably over-reacting but I get a fair bit of attention from the opposite sex but rarely feel the same attraction so it's such a buzz to finally meet someone that I like, who initially anyways seem to like me too.

Probably doing the same thing you were, and wanting to play it "cool".

I imagine a couple of million people throughout history never ended up together due to this tactic.

aye

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm probably over-reacting but I get a fair bit of attention from the opposite sex but rarely feel the same attraction so it's such a buzz to finally meet someone that I like, who initially anyways seem to like me too.

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not needy or desperate. I've my pick of about 3 other guys at the minute. I just happen to really like this one. And ime they usualy text pretty much the following morning if I've met them out.

Hmm, you seem to like yourself
Is it possible maybe you like him because he hasnt texted you straight away?!

Rob_l wrote: »

None of this gives you a yes or no answer and no here can, but if your interested isn't it better you take a chance?

Exactly.
Take a chance OP.

LegacyUser

Typical Irish begrudgery, god forbid anyone would have a bit of confidence. I am attractive and not afraid to say it. I work hard enough at staying in shape.

I never once said I could get any guy, I said I had 3 chasing me at the minute, sorry to tell you but there is more than 3 men in the country. Touch of jealousy perhaps.

drusk

He's just not that into you.

Wibbs

OK folks. Lets all take a chill pill. Read the OP's original post and all the replies before jumping in. Thanks

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

Typical Irish begrudgery, god forbid anyone would have a bit of confidence. I am attractive and not afraid to say it. I work hard enough at staying in shape.

I never once said I could get any guy, I said I had 3 chasing me at the minute, sorry to tell you but there is more than 3 men in the country. Touch of jealousy perhaps.

Great, now that is out of the way, having met him, do you think he is also playing it "cool"?

If so, i would simply advise either contacting him or patience. Whichever route you prefer.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not needy or desperate.
That's debatable.
I've my pick of about 3 other guys at the minute.
You keep saying this but it doesn't really have any relevance to this guy.
And ime they usualy text pretty much the following morning if I've met them out.
And you don't find this a little needy? Any girl I know would run a MILE if a guy texted them the next day.

Just get his number and text him ffs!

Terodil

Sorry but the longer this thread goes on, the more I get the feeling that the OP might have found a match in silly games.

You are a player OP and you are about to get onto the receiving end of the charades you have been juggling yourself for quite some time apparently. And now you come running here asking for advice, at the first sight of possibly being played in return... that's slightly ironic.

What would you expect the guys chasing you to do? Decide if you are willing to do the same.

LegacyUser

Terodil, I've been completely up-front with the other men in my life. The know where they stand. In-fact one was in the club & saw me kissing this guy. I don't play games, deciding whether or not you want to text so soon and come on too strong is a simple form of self preservation that everyone uses.

FYI he just called, issue resolved

zxcvbnm1

Unregistered wrote: »

I don't play games,

Ok - it's all academic at this stage now because he has called.

However -I have to disagree with you not playing games.

Biottom line is you got on very well and snogged a guy and then when you and your friends were invited back to his house for a few drinks (by his friend might i add) you declined on purpose so as to 'play it cool'

I agree with you that coming on too strong too quick can work against someone at times so there needs to be a balance struck.

I would definitely call what you did as game playing howevr.
Sayng that it's hardly the biggest crime in the world in that we have all probably done something similar at some satge.

For the record - from a guys viewpoint if i was in his shoes I would have been forced to seriously consider the possibility that you were not interested at all in that scenario - at a guess that was probably his re;uctance to call sooner.

Crash Bang Wall

Unregistered wrote: »

I've tought about it. I don't want to come on too strong. I mean he has mine and if he wants to get in touch he will.

I'm just trying figure out what's going through his head. He's been sitting on it since yesterday. Is it possible he's gone off the idea already or could he be like me and not want to seem to eager??

Dont think just do!!!! Send him a txt

LegacyUser

Yea, its these sort of games that make some relationships never get off the ground. When I first met my girlfriend she was one of these girls who wasnt short of male attention. Anyway on a night out I eventually told her that I really liked and if she would be interested in going on a date sometime or whatever etc and she just sort of passed it off so I assumed from this she wasnt interested.....turns out she was mad about me but for about 2 months she was "playing it cool" as she put it but I just assumed she had no interest and it didnt help when she had every second guy coming onto her. I wasnt going to compete and eventually she said to me one night why I had not made a move yet......women eh!!!! So I "played it cool" and made her ask me out! Thank God it worked.

Why play games, if your interested get in touch.

Salome

I think this is new territory to the OP - having to wait for a text/call. By the sounds of it, when other guys have her number and call, she's not that bothered. The difference is that she liked this guy so having to wait was torture.

I think it's always best to let the guy do the chasing - men can smell desperation at a thousand paces.

Good luck OP.

aye

Unregistered wrote: »

Typical Irish begrudgery, god forbid anyone would have a bit of confidence. I am attractive and not afraid to say it. I work hard enough at staying in shape.

I never once said I could get any guy, I said I had 3 chasing me at the minute, sorry to tell you but there is more than 3 men in the country. Touch of jealousy perhaps.

dunno if this is aimed at me.
not much jealousy, i'd be a bit scared if 3 guys were chasing me lol
having confidence is good, not denying it, but this below, "my pick", kinda seemed a bit arrogant really tbh.

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not needy or desperate. I've my pick of about 3 other guys at the minute.

anyway OP in my first post i said not to worry about it, that he wouldnt ask for your number if he wasnt going to text you.

evidently i was right lol.

Unregistered wrote: »

FYI he just called, issue resolved

hope it works out for you OP.

kevmy

Suppose it doesn't really matter now but sure might as well clarify myself anyway.

I read all of your post and replies. You were contradictory and you were playing games. Guys are simple creatures you have to be blunt with us. Don't play it cool, don't expect us to unravel any kind of message.

Unregistered wrote: »

Anyhow X's friend knows my friend who I was staying with that night. His friend send a text after the club saying that X was having a few people back and would love us to come. Now it was late and I was trying to play it cool so didn't want to be showing up, so we politely decined the invite.

Thats playing games, as getting phone numbers through friends when you could have easily given it to him yourself. He might not pick up from a snog and some conversation that you were seriously into him. Giving him your number directly is usually a fairly obvious signal.

Unregistered wrote: »

Kevmy read the rest of the thread will you, looks like you didn't even read my initial post!!

I obviously am interested. I'm not pretending I'm not interested at all, just not don't want to come off as desperate as the other poster put it.

I didn't give him my number, he got it off a friend and I don't have his.

I wouldn't call sending him a text desperate especially when you expect him to text you. Double standards.

Yes he has your number but you said ..

Unregistered wrote: »

OP Again, maybe I should, might wait until tomorrow and then get in touch if he hasn't by then. I'm sure I could get his number easily enough.

What would I even say? Hi??

Maybe you are blessed with good looks and find it easier to meet people but generally this is not a good rule

Unregistered wrote: »

OP here, in my experience it's always best to play it cool. Men just get bored if they think it's been to easy.

If you really like someone you should make a move. And btw there is a difference between making a simple move (like sending a text/calling him when you would expect him to do the same) and being desperate or easy which mean something complete different in my mind.

op get the number and quit the procrastinating.
You'll either be with him or not.
Games are for kids-you're an adult.

This game playing is like a disease-we're giving you an inoculation take it!

Do post back with the update.

Silverfish

Deleted User wrote: »

op get the number and quit the procrastinating.
You'll either be with him or not.
Games are for kids-you're an adult.

This game playing is like a disease-we're giving you an inoculation take it!

Do post back with the update.

She did.

Unregistered wrote: »

FYI he just called, issue resolved

LegacyUser

OP Here,

Update, he called & we're going out tonight... all worked out fine

Wibbs

Alls well that ends well. Closed.