To Cheat... Or not to Cheat?

Dave147

Hello all, was just thinking there for the last couple of days, and after reading a few threads in PI / RI where guys were seeking advice on whether or not to cheat on their girlfriends etc, the situation arose for me..

About 2 and a half years ago when I was in college I befriended a lovely group of Italian erasmus students, one girl in particular who stood out. I thought she was the greatest female specimen I had ever seen, I wanted her but never thought I could have her. We got on great and got chatting every day until eventually she asked me to a party, long story short we hooked up and dated for awhile until she returned to Italy. She was supposed to return after a couple of months, we'd email or talk on the phone practically every day, I wouldn't say I was in love, probably infatuated slightly, things fizzled out and although we both still had feelings for each other the long distance thing just wasn't going to work.

Anyway, fast forward to Saturday and I get a text telling me she's arrived in Ireland and wants to meet up. I couldn't believe it, the girl I had been mad about for so long comes back after over 2 years, what the hell am I going to do? So I sat in bed and thought about my current girlfriend who I'm with for 6 months and madly in love with.. I thought about all the good times we've had, all the little things she's done for me and the first time she told me she loved me, and nothing had ever been so simple in my life, I knew then I would let absolutely nothing happen with the Italian girl I pined for for so long.

So we met up on Sunday evening, 5 of us to be exact, so don't be thinking it was intimate or anything, had a few beers had a great laugh about old times, gave her a kiss on each cheek and a hug and said my goodbyes and... I have to say I am proud of myself, not for not cheating but for completely moving on and realising it.

Sorry it was so long but I really wanted to write all that down, any comments?

Blush_01

I don't know what kind of comment you're looking for. Will "Fair play for not cheating on the girl you're going out with at the moment with your ex (even though the possibility had obviously crossed your mind if you're so proud of yourself for not having done it), you're a great man and shure wouldn't the two of them be only lucky to have a man who's so potentially devoted - unless an opportunity to cheat arises." do?

To be honest, I don't think you have anything to be proud about, and if I was your girlfriend, and I knew how proud you were about not cheating on me, we might not still be going out. I'd have no problem with you going to meet an ex, but for you to be proud of having not cheated - I'd be sick over it, if I'm honest.

Salome

If only the rest were like you! You let your head and heart rule - others are guided by another organ only.

Dave147

Blush_01 wrote: »

I don't know what kind of comment you're looking for. Will "Fair play for not cheating on the girl you're going out with at the moment with your ex (even though the possibility had obviously crossed your mind if you're so proud of yourself for not having done it), you're a great man and shure wouldn't the two of them be only lucky to have a man who's so potentially devoted - unless an opportunity to cheat arises." do?

To be honest, I don't think you have anything to be proud about, and if I was your girlfriend, and I knew how proud you were about not cheating on me, we might not still be going out. I'd have no problem with you going to meet an ex, but for you to be proud of having not cheated - I'd be sick over it, if I'm honest.

Why not try reading the thread again before you get into another hissy fit, I'm not proud of myself for the not cheating, I'm proud of myself for moving on from something that's held me back for 2 years, that relationship affected me alot and I got the closure I needed after quite a long time. I didn't think twice about cheating, I've never done it nor would I ever.

Blush_01

I'm far from having a hissy fit. You asked for an opinion, you got it, if you don't like it that's your issue, not mine.

(Let me put it bluntly - if you'd been so sure of being over her before you went, the idea of cheating wouldn't have come up, you wouldn't be posting it here, and I won't applaud you for that.)

Silverfish

Dave147 wrote: »

Why not try reading the thread again before you get into another hissy fit, I'm not proud of myself for the not cheating, I'm proud of myself for moving on from something that's held me back for 2 years, that relationship affected me alot and I got the closure I needed after quite a long time. I didn't think twice about cheating, I've never done it nor would I ever.

I don't get you - what's the thread title about then?

To Cheat or not to Cheat?

Dave147

Blush_01 wrote: »

I'm far from having a hissy fit. You asked for an opinion, you got it, if you don't like it that's your issue, not mine.

(Let me put it bluntly - if you'd been so sure of being over her before you went, the idea of cheating wouldn't have come up, you wouldn't be posting it here, and I won't applaud you for that.)

Right, you posted an opinion on something I didn't even say, at least read the thread properly instead of trying to troll.

I wasn't over her fully, how can you be over someone when you have absolutely no closure? That is not how we humans work, I will not apologise for that, I have a girlfriend now and wouldn't dream of hurting her, I didn't think about cheating, however, the fact that I could cheat crossed my mind, of course it did and that's natural - that's alot different to actually considering it and you should be aware of that. I hope I've explained to you properly what happened so if you don't mind leaving the thread alone, thanks

Dave147

Silverfish wrote: »

I don't get you - what's the thread title about then?

To Cheat or not to Cheat?

It seemed clever in my head, and if you read the opening paragraph it should explain it. It's a topic, that's all.

Jules

moved from tLL.

Silverfish

Dave147 wrote: »

It seemed clever in my head, and if you read the opening paragraph it should explain it. It's a topic, that's all.

Well, I don't know, if you come into a forum for women with a thread title of 'To cheat or not to cheat' and explain that you sat in bed and had to think of your girlfriend and how you didn't want to hurt her to decide that nothing would happen with another girl, then I think you have to be prepared to not get a round of applause.

Just my 2c.

EDIT: Thread moved from tLL, but point still stands.

seanybiker

Fair play to you for moving on and all that. Only thing that I thoguht was a bit strange was that ya sat in bed and thought about good your girlfriend at the moment is and then decided not to do anything about it.
If the chance arose for me to get the leg over, annoyingly it has, by girls who know how madly in love with my missus I am, anyways, I did not have to think at all, I knew steaight away and know that I will never ever cheat on my girlfriend and am actually annnoyed at the girls who know me and my girlfriend but yet still tried to get off with me grrrr. I just cant stand cheaters.

blaa blaa dont mind me, Ya done the right thing.

Liam Byrne

Dave147 wrote: »

I have to say I am proud of myself, not for not cheating but for completely moving on and realising it.

Sounds pretty normal to me, and to me the "not for not cheating" is kidding yourself, given the thread title.....

But what are you looking for - a round of applause for doing what every decent human being should do ? :rolleyes:

Blush_01

Damn, I knew my being a non-human, robot/alien crossbreed would come to light at some stage and negate any right I have to have an opinion. My apologies everyone.

Dave147

seanybiker wrote: »

Fair play to you for moving on and all that. Only thing that I thoguht was a bit strange was that ya sat in bed and thought about good your girlfriend at the moment is and then decided not to do anything about it.
If the chance arose for me to get the leg over, annoyingly it has, by girls who know how madly in love with my missus I am, anyways, I did not have to think at all, I knew steaight away and know that I will never ever cheat on my girlfriend and am actually annnoyed at the girls who know me and my girlfriend but yet still tried to get off with me grrrr. I just cant stand cheaters.

blaa blaa dont mind me, Ya done the right thing.

I think people are taking me up slightly wrong here. I didn't HAVE to think about my girlfriend, I just did. I knew when we started going out I'd never cheat on her, it's just not something I would do. But this one situation arose which really shocked me, I never expected to see her again. I don't want a round of applause but I am just really happy over being able to move on 100%. As for those of you trying to make me look bad, you'd be better off getting a life and jumping off those high horses, I'm human and I wanted to share what happened this weekend, completely unexpected and I think I handled it well, regardless of your stance on cheating etc. you all need to lighten up a small bit instead of jumping down my throat like I'm the worst guy in the world..

Jules

moved from tLL


And your girlfriend should count herself lucky that she has such a great boyfriend that wouldnt cheat on here then ask peoples opinions on it... BRAVO to you sir!

Blush_01

Dave, you asked for comments. I'm very sorry that the comments you received weren't to your liking, but if you didn't want other people's opinions, why did you post on a public forum?

What did you aim to achieve by posting the thread originally? What kind of feedback were you looking for?

Dave147

Jules wrote: »

moved from tLL


And your girlfriend should count herself lucky that she has such a great boyfriend that wouldnt cheat on here then ask peoples opinions on it... BRAVO to you sir!

Sigh, go away and **** off, you're a bunch of demonic bitches. :rolleyes:

Silverfish

Dave147 wrote: »

Sigh, go away and **** off, you're a bunch of demonic bitches. :rolleyes:

Banned for a week.

Thread locked.