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Just not that into me?

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  • 16-03-2009 11:58pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So here's the story...first date last Wednesday night, went really well - lots of banter, a few drinks and a few meaningful conversations too. A little bit of flirting.

    The night ended with a hug and a sort of peck on the lips, no tongue action but the promise of some! I came away thinking he was a really interesting guy and looking forward to more dates. He texted me when I got home, 'had a great night, hope you got home safe'...and I reply: 'had a great night too, I'm glad we met up, definitely should do it again soon'...

    That was five days ago now and have heard nothing. I've been quite busy so haven't been obsessing, but now I'm at the point where I'm REALLY wondering if I'll ever hear from him again.

    So I'm looking for opinions...is he just not that into me??


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hold off.
    Wait.
    Keep Schtum.
    WAIT.... He'll contact you...believe in you!
    WAIT
    WAIT


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    #3
    Passenger
    Registered Users Posts: 6,146 ✭✭✭Passenger


    You have to relax and give it some time. What's an appropriate amount of time? Well how long is a piece of string. It's at your discretion the lenght of time to text/call. If he hasn't called/text then there are literally a plethora of reasons and circumstances why he hasn't. Doesn't mean he's not interested. You can use your imagination as to what those reasons are.

    If he hasn't contacted you by the weekend, send him a text saying you're heading out and you were wondering if he would like to join you? Cinema/Pint etc. That way there's no pressure on his part to worm out of it, just a simple yes/no answer.

    :)


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    #4
    TURRICAN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 717 ✭✭✭TURRICAN


    dont worry just relax if hes seriouly interested he will contact you, or maybe he is thinkin the same as you.
    sombody has to break the ice .
    goo luck;)

    good luck


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    #5
    myusernameis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭myusernameis


    i just read the book there! mad! yeah i would move on hun, 5 days is a long time without a phone call or text. perhaps your eagerness bout meeting up soon definetely might have scared him abit. his loss, jus keep yourself busy and find someone who knows how to treat a girl right!


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    #6
    unhappycamper
    Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭unhappycamper


    myusernameis wrote: »
    i just read the book there! mad! yeah i would move on hun, 5 days is a long time without a phone call or text. perhaps your eagerness bout meeting up soon definetely might have scared him abit. his loss, jus keep yourself busy and find someone who knows how to treat a girl right!


    Last time I treated a girl right on our first few dates I was walked over, no joke.

    I think the OP should chill out and let him do the chasing 5 days is a bit much though.


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    #7
    smileykey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭smileykey


    I really don't get this whole hold off and let him do the chasing thing. Why don't you just text him something casual and see if he responds. If he doesn't, you know where you stand, if he does take it from there. Don't waste time waiting around for a text that may never arrive


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    #8
    Salome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 570 ✭✭✭Salome


    I'm not sure he would have texted her when they got home if he wasn't keen. I'd be patient - give him another day or two.


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    #9
    myusernameis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43 ✭myusernameis


    unhappycamper wrote: »
    Last time I treated a girl right on our first few dates I was walked over, no joke.

    I think the OP should chill out and let him do the chasing 5 days is a bit much though.

    well she is just an exception! plenty of nice girls out there that are just waiting for a nice guy to come along, dont give up hope yet! just dont be too nice though :)


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    #10
    couerdelion
    Registered Users Posts: 2,910 ✭✭✭couerdelion


    If ti wasn't hard enough being a bloke already and trying to understand the too soon (desperate) too late (lazy) rules on contacting a girl we now have to contend with a new 'He's just not into you' bible!

    It's hard to know what he thinks about you. It could have just been a courtesy text, or it could be that he's playing hard to get and has a 5+ day rule... the only way to know is to text him. It takes the pressure away from him and you will know either way. Text him back with something like "So, are we going on date no2? :) ". That will tell him exactly where you stand and he doesn't have to do any of the reading between lines rubbish. Yes. it puts you out there but if he doesn't reply back he's not worth it and if he says no then you can carry on looking. If he says yes, then happy days! It's win-win :-)
    Good luck.


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    #11
    Kirnsy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 970 ✭✭✭Kirnsy


    couerdelion wrote: »
    If ti wasn't hard enough being a bloke already and trying to understand the too soon (desperate) too late (lazy) rules on contacting a girl we now have to contend with a new 'He's just not into you' bible!

    It's hard to know what he thinks about you. It could have just been a courtesy text, or it could be that he's playing hard to get and has a 5+ day rule... the only way to know is to text him. It takes the pressure away from him and you will know either way. Text him back with something like "So, are we going on date no2? :) ". That will tell him exactly where you stand and he doesn't have to do any of the reading between lines rubbish. Yes. it puts you out there but if he doesn't reply back he's not worth it and if he says no then you can carry on looking. If he says yes, then happy days! It's win-win :-)
    Good luck.


    +1. that's perfect advise OP.

    remember its his loss if he doen't wb.


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    #12
    seacláid-te
    Registered Users Posts: 71 ✭✭seacláid-te


    Defo give him a txt! Then You can say you tried, if he doesn't reply, move on and its his loss!


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    #13
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    oh for god sake, just pick up the phone and ask him if fancies a pint over the weekend.

    its not that difficult


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    #14
    aye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 991 ✭✭✭aye


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    oh for god sake, just pick up the phone and ask him if fancies a pint over the weekend.

    its not that difficult

    Don't see the problem, just ring him and ask if him to do something.


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    #15
    MrMojoRising
    Registered Users Posts: 257 ✭✭MrMojoRising


    why don't YOU ring/text him


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    #16
    who007
    Closed Accounts Posts: 711 ✭✭✭who007


    unhappycamper wrote: »
    Last time I treated a girl right on our first few dates I was walked over, no joke.

    I think the OP should chill out and let him do the chasing 5 days is a bit much though.

    +1 to the bein walked all over for treating someone right (happened again only recently.. when the f*** will I ever learn??!!)

    5 days is too long IMO too.. send a joke text and see if he responds with a "lol" then follow with some conversation.. but don't get hung up on him.


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    #17
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    He texted!

    Last night after ten, mind...asking if I was free this evening, which I'm not because of work. But that's another story...contact has been established!

    Thanks for all the advice guys.


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