More of a friendship problem really need advice!

LegacyUser

Ok so its kinda long and complicated but here goes. My friend was in a long term relationship with a fantastic fella who we all got along with. They broke up,just because they were drifting apart,not seeing each other etc. just 2 weeks later she started seeing somebody else. in my openion this was way to soon considering the lenght of her last relationship but she's my friend and so i supported her. They had been seeing each other for about a month when he called her a cheap tramp behind her back. Obviously i told her what he had said straight away but he told her he was drunk and she contiued to see him. My relationship with this man became quite strained and i found myself just being polite for my friends sake. A while later he told a big group of our mutual friends that i was a whoare and he wanted me out of my friends life. Very upset by this but not wanting to put my friend in an akward position i kept it to myself for a week but eventually i got upset in front of her and the whole story came out. she reacted very badly telling me it had nothing to do with her and i should just get over it. shocked by her reaction i cant find it in me to just move on and pretend nothing has happened. mutual friends have told me i am a bad friend and should support her no matter what? am i over reacting?? advice would be much appriciated!

Gyalist

Unregistered wrote: »

Ok so its kinda long and complicated but here goes. My friend was in a long term relationship with a fantastic fella who we all got along with. They broke up,just because they were drifting apart,not seeing each other etc. just 2 weeks later she started seeing somebody else. in my openion this was way to soon considering the lenght of her last relationship but she's my friend and so i supported her.

None of your business really. If as you said they broke up because they were drifting apart, your friend had most likely began to move on long before the formal end of her relationship.

They had been seeing each other for about a month when he called her a cheap tramp behind her back. Obviously i told her what he had said straight away but he told her he was drunk and she contiued to see him. My relationship with this man became quite strained and i found myself just being polite for my friends sake.

You've already made it clear that you didn't approve of either the man or the relationship so you shouldn't have been surprised that your friend reacted like this. She sees it as you interfering in her relationship with the goal of breaking it up.

A while later he told a big group of our mutual friends that i was a whoare and he wanted me out of my friends life. Very upset by this but not wanting to put my friend in an akward position i kept it to myself for a week but eventually i got upset in front of her and the whole story came out. she reacted very badly telling me it had nothing to do with her and i should just get over it. shocked by her reaction i cant find it in me to just move on and pretend nothing has happened. mutual friends have told me i am a bad friend and should support her no matter what? am i over reacting?? advice would be much appriciated!

While it is totally out of order for him to call you a whore, the whole situation could have been avoided if you hadn't tried to meddle in your friend's relationship. Not approving of her new relationship doesn't make you a bad friend, but you should keep your distance from them both unless your friend specifically asks you for your opinion. You don't have to support her no matter what as even good friends are allowed to disagree. It's how the disagreement is handled that defines the friendship.

Redpunto

Stay out of it - just be there for her if it all ends in tears. She needs to make her own mistakes