The problem with a guy interact with via the internet.

LegacyUser

Hi all.

I have a problem with this guy and I'm not sure how to ... solve it.

Basically, to cut a long story short, he's in my college, we've known each other for a long time, mainly online.

Every time I suggested meeting up, be it in person, or on msn, he was very keen, very positive about it then it never ended up happening.
He'd always make excuses - ie. food poisoning, too much college work.
He actually initiated some of the plans himself and told me he liked me.

I presumed at this point he was just shy with women.

A while ago, I was on msn and he came online, drunk, and said he wanted me to come to his house to hang out, have a fresh start etc and he wanted to make a real effort with me this time ... then he added "but I don't think you'd come" I asked why not and he said "because you probably have loads of other guys after you"

So, I assumed from that his issue was with other guys liking me. It just hurt that after all my efforts to meet up with him and spend time with him, he thought I'd be interested in entertaining attention from other guys!

After that, I went on a night out with some friends, and ended up in the same bar he was in... we ended up talking and we hooked up. He said things like "I want us to be together" "I want to go out with you, I want you to be my girlfriend" I was so happy, thrilled things were actually happen. He asked me to go to the cinema with him and said he'd text the next day.

I opened the text and got;

"I can't do this"

When I asked for an explanation, he said "I just don't think we'd work out and now isn't a good time"

Gutted.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice?

Like, is there any way of getting a shy guy to come around?

shellyboo

What a headwrecker. Steer well clear, honestly. He sounds like one of my exes, and he was a NIGHTMARE. Using his insecurity about me and imaginary "other men" as an excuse not to commit, all the while probably sleeping around behind my back.

He doesn't sound like he's worth bringing around, tbh. If he liked you, he'd be there. He's not shy, he's playing games. Forget him.

Wibbs

Yep. I agree. Headwrecker.

Kirnsy

to the kerb... with him. cut contact and move on.

like shellyboo and wibbs described - headwrecker.

not your loss.

coffee_cake

posted this in the wrong thread earlier oops -


I have to agree with shelly and wibbs, there's shyness and then there's headwrecking and this guy sounds firmly in the latter category. Stay well away from him

banshee_bones

You sound like you would genuinely be better off with out. As other posters have said he sounds like a total head wreck. If he wanted to be with you he would be keeping the plans and meeting up with you.

Gu3rr1lla

He sees you as a very attractive girl and maybe he does want to be with you but his problem is he doesnt want to get his heart broken. II mean by that he's afraid you'd lose interest after a while and get with some other guy that's why he said "because you probably have loads of other guys after you". Maybe you should show more interest and if he doesnt make the move then screw him

Liam Byrne

Seriously objectionable generalisation in the thread title, OP.......

You said it yourself - you have a problem with ONE GUY........don't tar a whole group with the same brush.

JC 2K3

Hs's a headwrecker, but I don't see the relevence of the thread title...

biko

Brings to mind that Kate Perry song "You're hot then you're cold" etc.
A guy like that will only cause you heartbreak later on. He's got too much going on in his own head to be a good boyfriend I think.
I agree with JC 2K3, is he a computer nerd or ?

Nevyn

Some people have a collection of people they are happy to talk to and interface with
over the internet but can't tranistion those online friendships into real life interactions.

Some people can be witty, gushing, open and enguaging with a time delay
and just are not at ease being that way in person and often when they meet up
wth a person for a frist time face to face get a bit freaked out about how much
the other person knows about them and how much they have shared about themsevles.

My advice to you is move on and push for a face to face sooner the next time
and don't get emotionally attched to the idea or them or the facade they are putting up.

Miss Fluff

Sounds like a complete and utter headwrecker. Stay well away, delete his number, block him from your MSN and move on girl. If he is carrying on at these early stages with such utter horsesh1t, goodness only knows how he goes about conducting a mature and adult relationship. Spare yourself the hassle and have nothing more to do with him.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

myusernameis

ill just leave him alone, im sure you're probably a good looking girl, as he said you have lots of guys probably after you. Do you want someone that keeps making excuses all the time and won't just ask you out properly? Dont go with someone if they are going to mess with your head, it seems like this guy kinda is. I wouldnt push it any further or text him cause he told you that he doesnt think you should go out. Find someone who you know who you stand with and dont have to ask all these questions with. Go and have fun with your friends and try to forget bout him