Think I'm Depressed

LegacyUser

Hi...
I am just looking for some advice if anyone out there has been in a similar situation to mine....
I'm going through a bit of a rough patch for the last few weeks and I don't know what to do about it... I can hardly get up out of bed in the morning and it feel like ages since I've been in college and I've really fallen behind with my continious assessments, I try not and go out at night with the lads because any time I have it's had serious consequences the next day and I feel terrible. I've been feeling so down and I don't really know but I think past issues are catching up with me...and at this moment I don't really want to deal with them...I'm only in my early 20's, I cannot discuss any of this with my parents because their 'old school' and I know completely that they wouldn't understand...
I hope some of the above makes sence.. I don't know...
Any advice would be much appreicated...

star-pants

Is there a counsellor in college you can go to? If not then the college doctor, and explain how you're feeling and hopefully they can refer you to a counsellor.

You have issues, whether big or small they're enough to bother you. And you won't get any better if you don't begin to face/deal with them. I know it's hard and you probably don't want to go to anyone but it's the best solution for the moment hun.

You do make sense, a good few people have been in your shoes, things get on top of you, and it's hard to talk to those around you who don't understand. But make an appointment & hopefully work out those issues. Good luck

abi2007

I was feeling the same way for a long time. I made a decision to give up alcohol for lent. I still go out with the girls and have fun but I don't drink. At first I still felt sad but the last couple of weeks I'm feeling great. I know alcohol wasn't an addiction for me but I felt guilty for spending so much money on alcohol, and the hang overs used to make me feel so depressed and made all my problems feel so much worse. Now I'm saving money and paying things that need to get paid, I dont feel as lazy and I can sort my problems out with a clear head. I really think this small step has helped turn my life around and I feel so much more positive. I'd reccomend you give it a try.

LegacyUser

Starpants:
Yes there is both a health and councelling service in the college, but i just don't think at this moment I'd be able to face them...
I've never in my life gone to a doctor with anything other than a Physical illness or injury and being honest I'd be kind of afraid of their reaction in case they think I'm completely mad! Is that just me or how do they deal with it...I'd be afraid of breaking down in front of them... Am I just being stupid??

Abi2007:
It's not that I drink, drink, drink all the time...the problem is that the odd night I would go out I would end up pollatic and waking up in a strange place not all the time obviously but it has happened a few times...and it's something that I'm certainly not proud of and make me feel ashamed of myself as I never would have done something like this two years ago and I don't know why over the last while I'm letting these things happen to me... I't just not me, have I really changed that much???

star-pants

OP -- its normal to feel apprehensive about talking to a doctor/counsellor about this, but that's what they're trained to do, the last thing they'll think is that you're mad -- you're not! Don't worry about breaking down either, if that happens it's ok -- they're trained to deal with these things and won't judge you or anything. It's normal hun -and I'd advise you making an appointment, the first time is the hardest but you'll be ok.

LegacyUser

Thanks for your reply...
I was chatting to my best mate there last night and she has known for a while what's being going on and if I'm being honest she tried to make and appointment for me a year ago but I cancelled as I felt I couldn't go through with talking to somebody...I'm basically thinking is now the time?? It's just a few issues that I've never ever talked about and even my friend says that I've changed from being bubbly to snappy and sour!!
I've come home now on holidays from college for the week and I can see exactly what she mean because thats all I've done is snap since I landed here on thursday night...have I had a mood transplant??

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I have recovered from a dark depression in my early 20s and life is sweet at last. It is possible to heal and reclaim your life.


In the beginning i couldnt talk to anyone either and there are other things you can do if you dont want to, like reiki and reading....i was so depressed i couldnt leave my house but i managed to get some great books which really started to change my thinking.

For me my depression stemmed from how my family operated, there was no room / space to express myself as me and i constantly had to conform to the world around me, i felt so trapped and worn out by it, the more i grew into an adult the more difficult it was for me because my family wanted me to be the same old me. I also had some abuse issues i had to heal from and my family had no skills in dealing with emotional experiences so i had to learn for myself.

Depression is just a state of mind, your body is actually very intelligent and it is trying to tell you something, this is why we get depressed, we are repressing our true feelings and not listening to our true needs.

There are currently some strong emotional feelings within you right now that need attention, you might like meditation, to relax your body and try and hear what is going on, its an incredibly fearful state to be depressed but i really feel if you can get to know yourself more and learn to accept yourself more you will feel better.

I ended up re assessing my life and i let go of certain friends and family members who were negatively impacting o my life and i learned how to truly listen and love myself.

These are the ways to beat depression.

My book list and links ....

Eckhart Tolle, 'A new Earth' and 'The Power of Now'. http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200805_omag_eckhart_tolle

Louise Hay 'You can heal your life'
Hay House Radio- www.hayhouseradio.com

Susan Jeffers- 'Feal the Fear and do it Anyway'

Rhonda Byrne ' The Secret' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b1GKGWJbE8

You Tube is brilliant for a pick me up....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJhLCj1f4fE&feature=PlayList&p=4D157AB090A724FC&index=0&playnext=1


Feel better, much love xxx

blackheartfairy

you can talk to your normal doctor about it

they will listen and give you advice its different for everyone and everyone deals wwith depression differently they can help you if you talk to them

also sometimes just having a friend you trust to talk to can help

lau1247

Is it money problem??

Just to be clear, I don't feel depress.. but after graduating from college it took a while before I got a job..

During that time, sometimes the thought not not being able to find one had me down sometimes. Luckily I always know when to snap back and look for the positive..


Also aim for a motivation, I know my motivation was to graduate with a respectable result.. as my parents aren't well off and my fees are about 5K per year.. I know I can't f***ed up.. that motivated me to work harder..

Not going out is not the end of the world.. that's what day time are for.. do as much as you can during the daytime and relax in the evening..

TheDollyParton

Now IS the time. Make getting help a priority. Whatever you have going on, the professionals have seen and heard it all. You won't be able to shock them, or make them question you being there. Personally, I feel everyone can benefit from a bit of therapy, I got a lot out of it when I started seeing someone a year ago, and still see her now from time to time even though things are pretty kosher with me at the moment. Go for it, it'll be the best thing you've ever done. If for some reason you go and see someone and you don't find it helpful, or they make you uncomfortable, go see someone else. There is a counsellor out there for everyone. I was lucky, I had a GP that I was able to talk to and she recommended someone specifically based on what I told her and who she thought would suit me. I think if you can take this route it is the best one. Good luck, things can be better for you.

Denerick

I think I get mild depression from time to time; feel like you do as well, not able to get out of bed in the morning, find it hard to sleep, feel down, feel unable to talk about anything... But then I seem to snap out of it every so often. The thing that works for me is if you are falling behind in college and sleeping in late, is to set your alarm and get up at 7 O clock. Do that for two straight weeks at least. Even if you don't do anything college wise, at least you are up and about and in the college grounds early. Eventually, your sleep pattern will go back to normal if you force yourself up in the morning like that. Try to get to bed at around 11 or 12 o clock - when I lived with my mates the last couple of years I used to stay up until four or maybe five, and wake up around three the next day - its a terrible sleeping pattern and not conducive to actually doing any college work.

Even if you don't do any college work, at least you are up, which is an achievement in itself. You may be wrecked for a couple of days but after that you'll feel better.

Maybe find something to feed your mind? More often than not I get incredibly bored until I pick up something to read; doesn't have to be anything heavy, even the newspaper will do. Watching dancing on ice/Irelands got talent or whatever will give anyone depression if they reflect on what they are actually watching!

Another thing, lay off the drink for a while. I find that if I'm stressing at college I need a bottle of something more than ever. Indulge in it every so often (Tbh, I'm encouraging binge drinking, its not everyone but what the hell) but try to go two or three weeks without a single drop of booze at all. Don't even go out on a night out if you think your not coming out of your shell - nothing worse than being the quiet guy in the corner when your feeling down like that. Just focus on yourself and you'll be surprised how good you feel. When you fix that you might be able to return to being a normal human being again (I know from experience :P)

Denerick

They say a lot of the problems lie in negative thinking, be it about yourself, the world, society, your family etc. and that it can be cured by positive thinking. Now while I find this to be mostly new age claptrash, there is some sense to it. Take an early morning walk somewhere (Be it along the sea, on the top of a hill, a quiet country road) and watch the sunrise. If anything will fix your perceptions of the beauty of the world its watching an early morning sunrise emerge on a quiet spring day. Its almost a religious experience.

yeneewss

Having suffered from depression on and off since I was about 15 and am now 41, the not wanting to get out of bed rings a bell. Having said that, you don't mention what your issues are but anything that keeps coming up in your life or you can't stop thinking about is worth sorting out. As for counsellors/doctors, they are great, if you get the right one for you. Try your student counsellor. If you don't like them, try someone else and keep trying until you get the one for you. As for the alcohol, I like the person who says she gave up for a while and saw how different she felt about everything having done so. Or even cut back until you know you are in control of situations and when you feel like you are losing that control, stop drinking for that night. Talk to someone, anyone and don't give up hope that your parents won't know what you are going through. If you have actual depression, it could be something that runs in your family. My mother used to go to bed for the afternoon on countless occasions. It never dawned on me that she might have depression. Now it's too late to discuss it with her. Be well. Find something other than drinking that you know makes you happy. Maybe something you used to do but gave up, maybe something new. For me it's the gym (believe it or not), when I am exercising it's all I think about and when I am done I feel good because my serotonin (happy hormone) levels are up. It could be walking, horseriding, pooh sticks in the park!!! Whatever. Find something that makes you happy!!!

LegacyUser

I have been to see a councellor the other day and found it very difficult to talk to her...I wasn't her it was just I didn't know what to say, I couldn't come out with what I wanted and changed the topic all the time...How can I just say it...she recommended meds for short-term use...anyone have any idea's??

LegacyUser

Depends... do you think you could give the counseling another go, or try another counsellor you are happy with, I had terrible depression and found therapy great, i did psychotherapy i found their practice very realistic, i became great friends with my therapist built up a trust, she was an angel sent to me in my hour of need,


You have had the courage to go to a session, this is a big step, dont give up- try again and you dont have to be perfect straight away, the bit you have done is huge for you-

Meds can get you through but maybe get a second opinion, i always feel that if you can get yourself into the mental state you can get yourself out....


how do you feel about taking meds?

LegacyUser

It's not that I don't trust her, I do...but it's just that I'm finding it extremely difficult to come out with what's actually happened/going on...
I can't afford to seek any other type of therapy cos I'm one of those poor students!:(
I'm just finding things extremely difficult at the moment and my home and financial worries are in addition to what's been going on before...
For me meds aren't something I really want to be on...It's just the idea of side effects and dependancy on them...maybe I'm just being stupid...I dunno...